“Don’t leave without saying goodbye”…that’s what Rio said to Hallie at some point in Liz Tomforde’s last book of the Windy City Series; Rewind it Back.
Sometimes I feel the understanding of a thing helps. I used to think closure was overrated. Well, in my defence, I was younger and I wasn’t really in tune with my feelings back then.
Having lived a little longer, I know for certain that closure is not overrated.
Looking back in the past couple of years, I know for sure it’s the reason I can’t help but cry every time I remember my friend Faz. It’s the reason I have a tiny RotaKids T-shirt that SonTer outgrew years ago.
Faz was my friend through secondary school, we bonded some more when we found we were pregnant in the same period. She had her Ember in February and I had my SonTer in June of 2013.
We also loved the fact that our birthdays were just days apart, 26th August for her and 23rd August for me.
Her Mom ran one of the best primary schools in our town and so that’s where SonTer went. Faz became the school administrator at some point and she insisted that SonTer join the RotaKids…a youth program sponsored by Rotary international. Hence the T-shirt.
Faz and I saw each other everyday. We would keep in touch via chat when school was on holiday.
Faz passed away in December 2020. We didn’t say goodbye. It was sudden and it hurts so much. Still does.
Google sent me a ‘then and now‘ photo collage this morning. It read July 2015 on the side of the older photo and July 2025 on the current photo.
I spent about two minutes looking at it, checking the changes and then something else nudged at my mind…it’s not just the physical changes. In the eyes of the current version of me, I could see other changes; emotional, mental,spiritual, social…so many changes
10 years is a lot of time. A lot has happened for me and I’m sure everyone else too.
I was able to make a small list of these things…some good, some not so good.
Personal Growth & Identity •I have become more self-aware. I understanding myself so well. I have no doubt about what I need, my limits or my passions. •My priorities have shifted, especially around peace, purpose, and authenticity. •I am more resilient; I’ve mastered disappointment and the ability to recover from it. •I have continued to enjoy spending time alone, appreciating solitude and reflection. Education & Learning… •I’ve always been a lover of new knowledge. But I had vowed that I wouldn’t go back to school again after my B.Sc in Accounting… but as they say, ‘Never say Never’, right? Well, I went ahead to get Postgraduate Diploma in Management and enrolled in an MBA program. I didn’t stop there. I got my certification as a professional Accountant. Family Life •I went from having my 2 year old to a 12-year-old boy. This right here is a huge change that came with emotional depth, joy, and many lessons.
•I went from 4 years of marriage to 14. I watched my marriage grow and also shift in several areas I didn’t imagine. Career and Business •I went back to the office… A 9 to 5. I never saw that one coming •I also saw my bakery operate even without me being present. I didn’t actually plan for that but it worked out good. Relationships •Some friendships deepened and some faded away.Some friends went to the cold hands of death…and I miss them so much. •My definition of love and loyalty has changed. Mind & Emotions •I faced fears, anxiety, heartbreak, and uncertainty but the prize was that I found strength through them. •I deepened my life coping skills with journaling, poetry, prayer, movies, and quiet reflection. Spirituality & Purpose •My faith, beliefs, and sense of purpose grew really stronger and become more personal. •I value peace over perfection, and truth over performance.
Health •I put on a lot of weight and have struggled with the troubles of weight loss, healthy eating and healthy living.
I wouldn’t trade these years. I am thankful for them. They brought me to where I am today, to the woman I have become and still becoming, and I can say boldly…I am proud of her
How have the last 10 years been for you? Would you trade anything?
The best part of June was how I got to have SonTer at home with me on his birthday because he had a medical issue and had to be brought home that week…
Father’s day must have been good for my husband because SonTer was home and we made a big deal of it…for the first time 😁.
I hung out with my siblings on a short road trip on the last Sunday in June and I caught up will my school mates from secondary school later on the same day.
June was a bit sad for me and so I buried myself in Liz Tomforde’s Windy City series because that’s all I could really do.
Journal entry: Day 7 Date: 5th June, 2025 Theme: Speak and Step Forward
A lot shifted in my thoughts. A lot. I realized I haven’t been living life and enjoying life like I used to. I’m committing to doing one day at a time for now. I know I recently made a big life plan… But I’m committing to letting things flow naturally. I won’t force anything.
What stayed the same? I don’t think anything stayed the same because I went real deep in my soul searching. Everything changed… Even the sure love of God…I think He loved me more in these few days 😁.
1. Highest insight in the 7 days: Healing, growth and self rediscovery. I need to start living again.
2. If I were a tree, I would be a wise but naughty tree. I would have the powers to know and see deep into people’s hearts. Whenever someone comes under my shade with a good heart, I would stretch my branches and make it cool and homely. But if anyone with a bad heart comes under my shade, I would shrivel and make it uncomfortable for them. If I were a tree, I would be a very weird tree.
Journal entry: Day 6 Date: 3rd June, 2025 Theme: See the Future
I imagined myself 5 years from now, and unlike so many people, I can’t really see. It hurts…but it’s the truth. I think I have too many factors affecting my decisions.
What does life look like? I see myself, thousands…or even, millions of miles from my current location, a happy life, a cat, a good day job, peace, love and happiness with my family.
Letter to my future self: Dear Mimi, I’m leaving this for you today, to let you know that I’m totally hopeful. I hope you are doing all the things I have dreamed and planned. I’m at a weird point in my life right now…so many options and so many decisions to make. Whatever I choose today, I hope it has helped you find peace, love and all the other stuff I dreamed of. Lots of love… Mimi (@42)
Letter to my 10 year old self: Dear Mimi, I’m glad you are a happy and adventurous girl. Naughty and curious they call you. I need you to know that the curiosity and “restlessness” will turn you into an intelligent and beautiful woman. Sometimes you will question your choices, but you will be happy. I love you…. Me (@42)
The challenge is to intentionally encourage and/or help someone without the hope of repayment or praise.
So, one thing about me is that I love random acts of kindness… especially to people I don’t really know. Most of the time I love to randomly show love to strangers. I love this because I know I’m touching a life and I’m not expecting anything in return… That’s why I particularly love today’s challenge.
Who did I help? And why did it matter?.
Today I went and did a little household shopping and gave to a woman I have noticed. I’ve seen her a number of times on my way out of my house. She runs a small business and is always there with her little children. She doesn’t know me. She loved the gift and I was happy.
My one question for the entire world is; Why do we focus more on the bad things people do rather than the good things?
I went to visit an ex student of my bakery who had twins. I felt so blessed because this was the second set I was holding in the year…from one my ex students.
I binged a Netflix series titled Black Doves… I will share a review sometime.
I got hooked on the police drama ‘The Rookie’. Starting Season Two tomorrow.
I took an obscene number of selfies. Literally every morning.
My dear Auntie Ben had a birthday and so I took her cake and 5 novels on behalf of her kids, they live far away… I gave a journal and pen to keep her busy in her new age.
I started a 7 Day challenge with a few young people. The challenge titled ‘Self and Story’ is geared towards growth and self development.
I read books, I drank lots of herbal tea, I watched my new plant grow.
Journal Entry: Day 4 Date: 30th May 2025 Theme: Check Your Heart
Inventory Summary Emotional State: I’m Truly unsure. I feel like I’m growing in a few specific areas in my life and yet I feel like there’s so much I want to achieve. I yearn to embrace my achievements and enjoy my happiness but something keeps trying to weigh me down. Spiritual State: I feel sure when I let myself rest in the arms of my Saviour. I’m glad this is steady flow for me.
Heart Check One word that describes my heart today: Becoming. A sentence about what I need most right now: I need to feel a difference.
5-Song Playlist Reflecting My Life and Current Season
1. “Unwritten” – Natasha Bedingfield This song is a personal anthem for my son and me. We listen to it as a way to motivate ourselves — a reminder that the power lies within us, and no one else will write our story. It’s all inside of us.
2. “Rise Up” – Ada Ehi This track resonates deeply with me and my sisters. It speaks to the strength we must summon to rise above our circumstances — because no one else can do it for us. The will and the power are within.
3. “Seasons Change” – United Pursuit, Michael Ketterer This song reminds me that life flows in seasons. Each one — with its uncertainties and transitions — carries lessons. Right now, I may not feel fully present, but I rest in the assurance that God’s love is carrying me through.
4. “One More Day” – Sons of Sunday I chose this song as I reflect on how deeply God loves me, even through my struggles. He offers grace, even in the midst of pain, and gives me the gift of one more day — every day. Listening to this also brings my dad to mind.
5. “Anyone Who Knows” – Irma Thomas I love the feeling called love. Love is beautiful and I feel it deep down. I find happiness in love…my son, husband, sisters, parents and anyone who means much to me. Sometimes I feel it’s really hard to explain. Sometimes I feel most people don’t understand it.
For the challenge, I was actually unsure about what to do.
The first thing that came to mind was to be very serious and intentional about my diet. I think it’s the single most important thing for me to do right now. I have been feeling a lot heavier than usual and my knees hurt so bad. When my knees start to hurt, it’s a clear sign that I have become careless with my health and with what I eat. Today I’m saying NO and YES.
No to unhealthy living and unhealthy food
Yes to wellness and good health.
Submissions: 1. I took a step towards eating right, staying healthy and then exercising a bit. I will decline any unhealthy offers and prepare my meals on time to avoid falling into temptation. I feel good about the decision and I hope to sustain it for as long as possible 2. For my thank you note, I wrote one to my son. I can’t show him now because he is in school but I will keep it and show him when he gets back.
