Macaroni, a kind of pasta shaped like tiny curved tubes, but where I’m from, any pasta that isn’t spaghetti is called macaroni. I don’t know why. I guess it’s just one of those things that get renamed by some people.
My son, SonTer, loves macaroni, so I make sure I have enough and a variety of “macaroni”.
I have five months till he goes to secondary boarding school.
Yesterday I was doing some thinking and told myself I would be intentional about the time we have left. One sweet thing a day, wish me luck here.
He loves surprises, no matter how little. So for his school lunch today, I packed for him a “macaroni” surprise.
What was in my “macaroni” surprise?
Cavatappi – twisted, ringed and longer than macaroni
Farfalle – ribbon shaped
Penne – straight tubes, wider than macaroni tubes
Fusilli – twisted like a screw
Conchiglie – shell shaped
I’ve never cooked more than one pasta in a meal for him before. I have only done that in my salads and he’s not a fan of salads so I doubt he has ever seen it.
I dropped him off at school and I’ve been at work, smiling at myself, imagining his reaction when he opens his plate to find what I made.
I am pretty firm with my son when it comes to enforcing morals and values.
I dare say I’m hard on him…I think I’m acting from a place of fear. Fear that he may miss it somehow. I think I know where this fear emanates from… Actually I know but it’s kind of personal.
As the years passed and it began to look like he may be an only child, I just knew I couldn’t relent on the matter.
Last night I told him I was giving him a day off. 😂
A day without any chores. A day where I wouldn’t double check anything he does. A day with no screen time limit and no strick bed time.
You see, for the rest of the world, children are celebrated on the 20th of November and also 1st of June in some countries. Here in Nigeria, children are celebrated on the 27th of May.
So today, I didn’t insist on dining table breakfast, I actually served him breakfast in bed. I plan to take him out to lunch and then order take-out for dinner. These are the kind of things he loves.
He turns 10 in a few weeks…double digits… Yaaaaaaaaaaay. I think I might just give him another day off then.
… But come tomorrow, everything goes back to normal. 😁
So, while my son is having a fabulous day, I wish all children do have their kind of fabulous day too.
My childhood and long time friend made a post on Instagram about a week ago. I can’t get over the post. Why? Because I didn’t like my answer to the question.
A screenshot of her post: ⬇️
I’m a sit on the side, cheer the kids, refuse to participate in parent/children activities kind of mum at kiddies parties.
Why did I not like the answer?
Because deep down inside, i want to play and dance and have fun with the kids and participate in the parent/child games.
It’s the season again, we begin to hear all kinds of greetings and then we get confused and out comes the question; “How many mother’s day do we have in a year”?
To be totally honest this really got me bothered at some point. When on two of the “mother’s days” I didn’t get to call my mom because I didn’t even realise it was “mother’s day”.
These days have always been marked but they have become more popular because of social media. It’s very likely to go online and find out it is this day or that day for so and so.
Women are a special specie of humans. In 2022 the Word of the year (most searched word) on dictionary.com was woman.
She can and must be celebrated daily.
I have listed a few selected days for celebrating women and why.
Women’s day is an international day set aside for celebrating and recognising women’s achievement and development. It’s also a day for recognising women’s rights (gender, reproduction etc) and violence/abuse against women. It is celebrated yearly on Marth 8th.
Mother’s day – This is celebrated on different dates, depending on the country. The dates change every year. It often is between the months of March and May (commonly second Sunday in May). It is a day set aside for honouring and appreciation mothers, motherhood and maternal bonds. As there isn’t any specific day for mother’s day, it’s likely for someone in Australia to wish a ‘happy mothers day’ on her social platform and then someone in Nigeria could go ahead to assume it applies there too.
Mothering Sunday is a day when people honour their mother church (where you were baptised). On this day, the mothers are also honoured, along with Mary the mother of Jesus. Some also honour mother nature on this day.
Women’s History Month – March
Today, I join women all over the world to celebrate ourselves.
May we find the strength, peace, wisdom and courage we seek. May we be bold enough to rise up and take It.
Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.
“Mummy, it’s like you wear these shoes everyday”
…but how could they not become every day wear? Black and comfortable can barely escape that torture.
That’s what my son decided to say to me randomly one day in a public place. I looked around, feeling a bit embarrassed but apparently no one else had heard him. He was not wrong though. Coincidentally, I had just said similar words to myself that day.
I remember the day I was given that pair of shoes, I had put my feet in and observed that they were comfortable. I didn’t know that they would become every day wear.
When I saw the prompt I pondered on “where have they taken you?”… Everywhere… but nowhere particular to remember or tell a story about.
In all the everywheres and nowheres, one place has been sure, comfort.
My mom is a mother of four girls. She started the proud trips for the beautiful tradition called Omugwo in 2001 when my eldest sister had her first child, Suur.
Omugwo is an Igbo term for a tradition where a mother, a mother in-law or any close female relative or friend goes to give post-partum care to a new mother and the new born baby. Although this is of Igbo origin, many tribes in Nigeria have quietly adopted and begun to practice this tradition. Most mothers do this with so much pride, they prepare and plan and upon arrival, begin to do ALL the duties in the home while the new mother and baby rest.
Omugwu is not for the lazy or faint hearted. It is expected that whoever takes upon this responsibility is skilled and knowledgeable in the care and handling of new babies and the new mother.
My mother has eight grandchildren. She didn’t make it to all the Omugwu visits, but when she did, she really turned up. She is the kind of woman who gets everything around her done without lifting a finger. I don’t know how she does it, she just does.
One sure way she has always handled her Omugwo was financially. You could be sure that she was going to make sure everything needed was made available. All she needed was to overhear anyone talking about something that was lacking. She always started with; “How much is it?”
She has not had a chance to make any of those visits for almost a decade. Her last two grandkids will both be ten years old this year…but I know that if she were to ever make an Omugwo trip again, she would gladly turn up with all her support in her pocket.
A couple of days ago, I was privileged to sit with some very awesome women and as we discussed, I was made to see a few things. These were not new things, it turns out that I already knew them, but I had never taken the time to appreciate them. As humans who often always feel entitled, it is very common to see an unusual thing as normal and probably even take it for granted.
In a couple of months, it would be exactly seven years since I dropped my son off at school, a school where I was given enough items myself as a new parent/mom. I was handed a bag with a few crested items in it; a Pink Tee shirt, a black baseball cap, a book; which I discovered to be a constitution, a lapel pin and a few other items. To cut this very long story short, I realised i had automatically become a member of a forum referred to as ‘Caring Mothers’.
The forum is probably one good thing i have always taken as normal and never really taken the time to appreciate. The forum holds meetings at least once every school term but because of the little percentage of asocial in me, it took me a little time warming up. I have spent the years meeting many women and some of us have become good friends because of our children. I know a few of us may have rubbed one another off the wrong way a couple of times but this has never affected the general gathering of these wonderful women.
Some Highlights of the Forum
Motivational, health and other talks: During meetings and some other events, a few moms get to share tips and ideas on the ‘how to’ of certain areas in life. Being a mom is not the easiest job in the world and can often get very stressful. These talks often help moms find a balance in their mental, financial, physical and social lives.
Christmas Party: One major highlight for me and I know a few other moms too is the yearly Christmas party. I remember gasping in shock when I saw a few moms dancing and having fun at my first Caring Mothers Christmas party. This party has a way of making you forget it all and have a really good time. It is such a great place to relax and unwind.
Inter House Sports Competition: Whenever the children have their Inter House Sports Competition, moms get to display their skills in some competitive activities. This event comes up once a year and it is always lovely and fun filled. The highlight of this event for me is always the March Past Parade; I have always been a sucker for Marching.
A few unofficial activities like the ability to sell our products to each other and also display them just outside the school compound has been a highlight for me and some moms, I have done some really good purchases there. One major unofficial activity in this forum is the show of love between these moms, I have seen a number of times where a mom or two have assisted each other in tough and difficult times of lack, loss and even in joyful celebrations like births and birthday celebrations.
As a person who loves to see the good in everything first, I think it is safe to say that I love The Caring Mothers Forum of Towering Tots School and I have never seen anything like it or better.
3 Christmases ago, my son participated in a chair dance competition and he lost to the winner. He cried so much it hurt. That had not been the only time I had seen him cry after losing at a game or sport. I spent the next couple of months telling him at any chance I could get how he didn’t always have to win at everything he participated in. I didn’t tell him not to keep trying, but I made him realise that he could win some and then lose some. I didn’t dwell too much on it and I didn’t even revisit the issue at all. Somehow, I saw him win several chair dance competitions and dance competitions at parties and I sighed heavy sighs of relief each time.
Today I was at a child’s party with him and next thing I know he’s been thrown out at the 3rd stage of a dance competition. My heart rate went up instantly. I was afraid he’d make a fuss, or worse, I was afraid he’d cry. To my surprise, he bounced back to his seat with a big smile and a little chuckle. I was happy for a moment and then the fear inside me came up for air. I suddenly remembered how in reference to how Will Smith had laughed at Chris Rock’s joke about Jada but later smacked Chris in the face, my sister had said “people laugh a lot to hide pain so sometimes it’s hard to tell”.
I got into an argument with myself about how he was only 8 years old and couldn’t put up a facade if he wasn’t happy and all. While I argued with myself, I saw him try to get into another competition. He was turned down…15 minutes later he entered into another competition. He was asked to bring his mum to join him for the game and I obliged. While we waited for the rules, I asked him why he was entering into all the games and competitions and with his usual bubbly spirit and a large smile he said “I want to win a prize, I will keep participating in all games till I win a prize today”.
I played the game with him and he won.
I learned some lessons today:
I worry too much.
Things get better with time.
Everything will ALWAYS be alright in the END.
I hope I learn these lessons long enough to use them as a guide for him.
