I remember one of the many fights we had in our marriage in the first Eight years …yes. Eight.
I had assumed the wife role and had fully activated wife mode…. Wake up, make breakfast, serve breakfast, clean the house, plan dinner, run my errands, attend to a few other concerns, make dinner, keep the home neat for the evening and so on.
My husband often brought up this robotic behavior and expressed his dislike with how it seemed I was playing a role. I never wanted to hear it. I thought he was being difficult. He wasn’t.
It took me time to realize I was not expected to be “acting like a wife” and just be his wife. Now, I want to believe this was because I had to unlearn what I was taught growing up.
Women are often coached on how to assume and proceed with the wife role. I think we need to change the narrative on the role of the wife.
A wife is just a name for a woman who is married to her husband. How they go about it isn’t meant to be scripted.
When I realized this and decided to turn a new leaf, it was not immediate… Not at all. Took a few years… And it’s still a work in progress… but one thing I know for certain is, since I changed the narrative for myself in my home, things have been really good for mental health, my marriage and many areas of my life as I gave myself the liberty to the indulge and enjoy the things that I love.
We take one day at a time and progress with matters as they arise. Teamwork… not one working for the other.
