love

Love over Hate

“And on the Night He Was Betrayed”… The Weight of Those Words.

I’ve heard those words my entire life, I heard them every week when I was a child until I was in my twenties, when I stepped away from the Catholic church. I still hear them whenever I crave for and/or when I attend mass these days. I never gave it much thought…but today it’s all I can think about.

These words are a solemn preface to the Last Supper, a moment suspended in both holiness and heartbreak. They are not just a timestamp in the Passion narrative, they are a portal into the deepest paradoxes of love, trust, and sacrifice.

What strikes me most about this phrase is its quiet placement at the threshold of what should have been a sacred gathering… a final meal with trusted friends. Instead, it begins with betrayal. Jesus, fully aware of what was coming, did not flinch or flee. He did not storm out or denounce Judas publicly. He stayed. He served. He broke bread…with Judas

There is something deeply human and painfully divine about choosing to love even as you’re being hurt.

Many of us know betrayal… from friends, family, systems, even from within ourselves. It makes you want to recoil, to shield your heart. But “on the night he was betrayed,” Jesus chose vulnerability. He chose generosity. He gave thanks. It wasn’t an act of denial, but defiance against bitterness. He redefined the moment… not as the night he was victimized, but as the night he offered himself for the world.

That is power. Not a loud performative power…but quiet, enduring power that transforms pain into purpose. Hmmmm.

When betrayal finds its way into our lives…and it will…we are faced with a choice. We may not be called to break literal bread or pour out wine, but we are constantly invited to decide: Will this moment define me, or will I redefine it?

“And on the night he was betrayed” isn’t a phrase frozen in ancient liturgy. It is a rhythm in the heart of anyone who has ever chosen courage over revenge, love over hate, faith over despair.

So the next time you hear those words; “and on the night he was betrayed”, pause. Let them settle in your chest. Consider the love that moves toward pain with open hands. Consider the strength it takes to stay present in the breaking, and the hope that even betrayal can be the backdrop for something sacred.

Maybe the true power of that night wasn’t in what was done to him, but in what he did anyway.

In my closing remarks at the end of the year 2024, I noted how I had been unable to do much writing. I feel a bit sad as I sit to write this now because I am still unable to make time to be with myself to think and write. As a result of this lack of time, I’m beginning to leave so many things unsaid…things I feel I need to put out there for someone…anyone.

I had planned to drop little reminders daily, anywhere, everywhere and to whomever would listen/read, about a different way to go about Valentine’s Day this year. I am not against Valentine’s Day and I love how one day is set aside to celebrate and show love…but… I feel that the remaining 364 days could and should be used too. I’ve seen in several relationships, where besides the 14th day of February, some people never express their love to loved ones.

Relationships should be nutured and it’s love expressed more frequently than once or twice a year. I think we should be more intentional about our relationships, whether parent and child, sibling, spouse or friend.

I was going to challenge myself to consciously celebrate love one day every month… I still am…I just haven’t decided how to go about it yet.

As I figure out how to stretch the spirit of St. Valentine’s Day till the end of the year, I decided also that for this Valentine’s day, I will show love and appreciation to a teacher from my primary school. She deserves to be loved and I am glad and excited about it.

What are you doing this Valentine’s day? How are you expressing your love to loved ones?

Update

“wonderful; I reckon we’ll see more posts on this 🙂” John Malone said in a comment on my blog post So far… it looks Good.

I had three plants from my visit to Domitila’s garden.

Two days ago I visited my mom, well, I went there to get a few offshoots from her collection of plants, so I won’t say I actually visited…did I?

I got back home and carefully nestled them in temporary cups.

So, in addition to my four from Domitila, I’m a proud owner of Thirteen babies…😁

Today I noticed a little brightness on the tips of one of the cactus 🌵 and I realized it was growing…that gave me some joy.

I have three cacti, I plan to find some more.

Hey Su’eddie…what do you think?

The Idea Of You

Never have I wanted to interview a person more than I want to interview Robinne Lee right now. If only I would be that lucky.

I recently became aware of her book, The Idea of You. I am wondering why it took me seven years to learn about it. I guess I have got to thank whoever decided to make a movie adaptation of the book. The movie trailer got my attention a few weeks ago and then in my curiosity I found the book.

The novel is about a thirty nine year old divorced mother of a thirteen year old girl and how she falls for a twenty year old member of a very popular/successful boy band.

You see, I’m glad I found the book because I love what it did to me. It made me argue with myself and my feelings and my ideas and beliefs. Lee succeeded in making me question my stereotype of not only a younger male with an older female but of huge age differences in relationships as a whole.

I want to sit with Lee and pick her brain. I wonder, did she have an experience close to this? Why did she come up with this and how did she portray it so perfectly…it felt so real.

I was moved by the conversations and how easy it seemed. The way they were able to understand each other and spend quality time together in spite of their age difference. One would assume it would be basically for sexual benefits, but no. Lee makes us follow them around the world as the band goes on tour and their love blossoms. It is an amazing ride until we get to the end… but the ending leaves you hurting.

…but what was I expecting? I wonder.

In the end, I took two things from the book.

We love who we love, we don’t get to choose.
Sometimes we have to leave that love behind and move on, even when it feels like we could die when we do.

I will see the movie when it drops. I can’t wait. I just need viewers to know that it is just an adaptation. Judging from the trailer, it is almost completely different from the book… it looks interesting, but the book is the real deal.

Maybe I will write a comparative review once I get to see it.

Angels Don’t always have wings

When my son prays, especially during bedtime prayers, he often asks God to bless every good person in our lives.

I think good people really need that; people who pray for them.

I needed to know what his idea of ‘good person’ was and so I asked him. SonTer told me that to him, a good person is someone who always helps others.

I think good people are Angels on earth. People who are there for us when we need them, especially in the most unexpected times and places. Good people are big on empathy and kindness.

It’s the reason I am a huge lover of random acts of kindness. It meets the receiver in an unexpected and beautiful place.

Even before I heard Thomas Rhett say it in his song ‘Angels’, I’ve always agreed with myself and known deep down that Angels don’t always have wings and halos.

I’ve met a few Angels of my own but I also hope I’ve been one to someone or to as many who needed me.

May we all meet Angels as we go about our way and may we be same to others.

Self love vs selfish

How selfish is self love?

I think it’s been over a year since my sister Angela and I discussed this.

We agreed that some people had taken self love too far and then we worried about how much it deviated from what God intended.

If we love ourselves and ignore the rest of the world then that might be too selfish.

…but sometimes you just have to look out for yourself… You have to care for yourself to be able to care for others.

After all, the greatest commandment is centered around you.

If you don’t love yourself, how can you love your neighbor?

So the question is, where’s the line? And how do you know when you’ve crossed it?

That line that tells you that you are being a little or a lot more selfish that you should.

That line that shows you that you just ignored a neighbor that may have needed you.

I’m literally asking here.

Jesse

That smile…

I couldn’t seem to get it out of my mind. It haunted me and made me want to reach out to him.

That smile was one of the most beautiful things I had seen in a while. It revealed so much and negated much more.

I had wondered what happened to him…and his sister too.

I remember them from many years back… the shuffles and chitchatting from their morning routines…the beautiful voices that sang praises to God in the morning. They used to be sweet kids… There was just a wall in between our backyards.

Somewhere along the line, I heard their mum left… No one knew why.

Two sweet kids, left alone with daddy. I have no idea what kind of daddy he was…

…but not too long, they weren’t kids anymore… gradually…the world kind of lured them. To what? I don’t know…just mere hearsays…

What do I know? They wouldn’t look up anymore when they walked past me or anyone…not even a hello…maybe one hello in ten passings…

what was the point in saying hello anyway, everyone thought they were bad kids… presumably in bad company and on some substances too.

I guess I joined the rest… I don’t know. I never said a word to them…these kids I once knew. I took my few hellos they gave and walked on by.

Not until today…Today I got a hello and I asked how he was…and then I asked; “Your name is Jesse…am I right?” He nodded and paused, then I added “…and your sister is Sharon… I hear you call out to each other all the time”.

That’s when he let it out, that smile…all teeth and crinkles around his eyes. It said so much.

Maybe I’m going to say a little more to him and not just say hello. He needs to know he’s got at least one person who hasn’t written him off.

Modified and narrated for Msugh Iyange Yakubu (my sister) from her true life experience

Waking thoughts

When I was a little girl, maybe about 8 or 9 years old, my dad had an office space. For the life of me, I can’t even remember exactly what they did there.

I remember making jokes with my sister; we’d say if anyone asked, we would tell them our dad was a JoPoBu… Journalist, Politician, Business man.

Yeah, all those activities went down there. There was a newspaper publication one time…The Public. There were business contracts here and there and then he never left the political scene.

Politics…that one finally won.

So back to this office space, we had Uncle Patrick in one of the offices. Uncle Patrick wasn’t related by blood but he was one of those… We wouldn’t call him anything else.

He was a good man and one of the few who genuinely loved our family. He would come by our home and we would have lunch and sometimes dinner…as a family.

One day after school, we were hanging at the office, waiting for someone to drive us home when Uncle Patrick suddenly shouts “oh my goodness, no wonder things have not been going so well”.

He went straight to a framed photo, turned it back from where it had been facing the wall, cleaned it up with a handkerchief and then placed it properly, displaying the photo of his master.

Uncle Patrick was a servant of Guru Maharaj Ji, a Nigerian spiritual leader.

He was convinced that his master must have been upset about his photo facing the wall and was definitely making life difficult for him. There was no convincing him otherwise.

I lay in bed just as I woke up this morning, wondering, asking… “Why do you love me so much dear Lord? Your grace is so beautiful…even when I am the worst…You give me your hand and say come.”

Uncle Patrick passed on some years ago… I’m not sure where he went but I wonder if he has changed his beliefs.

Scriptural Guide

Hebrews 4:16
Hebrews 13:15
Psalm 103:8
1 Peter 5:10
2 Chronicles 30:9b
Isaiah 30:18

Friendship

For years, the 30th day of July has been set aside to celebrate the day of friendship.

A few countries celebrate this on the first Sunday of August.

One of these countries that celebrate in August is me, yeah… Me.

I celebrate it in August because I love August…it’s the month of my birth.

Friendship; a mutual feeling/affection between two people.

I wasn’t brought up to accept friendship. My mum must have been dealt a hard blow by a friend or something because she would always remind me and my siblings that we didn’t have friends…

My mom made sure I knew that a friend was separate from a classmate, a neighbor, a colleague and all.

A friend was a friend.

I managed to figure it out over the years… I have made some good friends.

My sisters… Dough, Angela, Msugh…anr my other “sisters”… Gosha, Gyen, Ngodoo.

Cousins… Su, Henry.

Friends from childhood that have spanned three decades and more… Dooyash, Enach, Dudu, Vivian, Rosemary.

Friends from boarding school that stayed with me… Uzoma, Oyidu, Rikye, Pasen.

A friend from University that became a sister… Ronnie.

A neighbour that became a friend…Orako

Friends I’ve made in the course of life…Helen, Nguwa, Aves.

Cheers to all of you darling friends.

I celebrate you today

Happy Friendship day

Tennessee orange

I listened with a little bit of melancholy but I smiled the whole time.

I was melancholic because I couldn’t get over thinking about the way a person can give up all and everything they once believed in for another because of the way they make them feel. I smiled because I actually thought it was sweet.

Tennessee Orange is a song by Megan Moroney.

It’s a song about college football. In the song, she tells her folks how she had ditched her Georgia ways for some guy’s Tennessee thing.

She sings a lot of confessions about the many ways she has disappointed them and finishes with; “I’m wearing Tennessee Orange for him” after each verse.

It is unusual for a person to totally switch sides from one club/group to the other… Like an Arsenal fan suddenly becoming a Manchester United fan, or Lakers fan suddenly loving Celtics…

… But I guess love can make a person do this.

Love can make a person do a lot of things they never imagined they would.

It’s the reason Bulldog red doesn’t seem too appealing anymore and now she’s wearing Tennessee Orange for him.