I have been reading romance novels since I was a teenager…
I didn’t even know this was a thing.
Somewhere along the way, quietly and without any fanfare… the “why choose” trope found its way onto the shelves, built an audience, and settled into its own space in the world of romance… and I completely missed it.
From what I’ve now come to understand, the idea itself isn’t entirely new. Its roots stretch back into earlier romance (especially in fantasy and paranormal spaces) where a woman might be surrounded by multiple love interests, where each interest offers something different. But in those stories, there was almost always a final decision. A choice had to be made. One stayed, the others faded away. That was the rule…
Then something shifted. I have come to learn, that in the early to mid 2010s, particularly within indie publishing spaces, writers began to experiment. They questioned that rule. What if she didn’t have to choose? What if love didn’t need to be reduced to a single outcome? And just like that, without asking permission, the trope evolved.
My research tells me that by the late 2010s into the early 2020s, it had fully arrived. Not just as an idea, but as a recognized and named trope. Platforms like Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing and Wattpad gave writers the freedom to explore it, and readers responded. Strongly.
Fans of this trope say there is something quietly relieving about it. No tension of “who will she pick.” No sense of loss when a favorite character is left behind. No pressure for one person to be everything. Just… an expansion of what love can look like.
And yet, here I am, only just discovering it.
But when I think about it, it makes sense why I didn’t.
This trope tends to live in genres I don’t naturally gravitate toward… fantasy romance, dark romance, paranormal worlds, academy settings (except the Love Hypothesis 😁)… spaces where imagination stretches wider and the rules of reality are more flexible. That’s where “why choose” feels most at home.
For me, I tend to sit more with quieter, grounded stories. The slow ones. The reflective ones. The ones that feel like sitting by a window in the evening with your thoughts. So yes, of course it slipped past me.
Still, I find something about it… interesting. It challenges something we have long accepted without questioning that love must be singular to be valid. That choosing one means losing others. That fullness only comes in one form. “What if it didn’t?” it seems to ask.
So, while I see why people would like the trope, I on the other hand, believe in choosing. I believe in the weight of it. In the clarity of it. I believe, even in the ache that sometimes comes with it.
I love the deep feeling that comes with “I choose You”… Not everyone. Not everything. Just… you.
Even if it hurts.
Even if it costs something.
Even if it doesn’t come easy.
That, to me, is where love sharpens into meaning.
So while the shelves may be expanding, and the stories evolving, I find myself still drawn to that singular thread… The courage and the consequence… of choosing one.
