life – Page 26 – Mimi's Thoughts

Beginning

The one thing we fail to consider when we want to achieve a goal is the number of obstacles we will face.

Achieving a goal in life, especially in adulthood is like a pentathlon.

I had decided that today (13th May,2023) would be the day I start my #100daysofhappiness challenge. I genuinely want to be happy and I thought I should give it a shot.

The day started as early as 7am with a husband and wife squabble. Hopefully, with enough effort and understanding from both of us, everything continued amazingly smooth.

To kick start the 100 days of happiness, I had been looking forward to a preplanned lunch date with my friends (secondary school mates). Somehow, almost everyone cancelled and so we had to reschedule.

I didn’t want to let the cancellation put me in a bad mood; I was already dressed up and ready to head out when the last message for reschedule reached me.

And so I went out.

I went with SonTer (my son) to Ifeanyi from Sunday vibes and did a little restocking for the home. We stopped over for some take out and we headed home. It was a refreshing outing and I was happy.

On our way home, we remembered we hadn’t gotten eggs and drinking water… that’s when I got really happy today at D.O Brothers Store .

#100happydays #intensionalliving

What you seek, you find

As weird as it may sound, one of my happy places is D.O Brothers store. It isn’t a fancy place where I can hang and chill. It’s just a place where I stock up on my household needs.

It is a walking distance from my bake shop and seven minute drive from my home.

It is a family business and the owners are very friendly with their customers. On most evenings, the crowd is usually overwhelming for Zubi and Onyeka at the payment stand. Almost every family stops by between 6pm and 7:30pm.

When I walked it today, I decided to write about them and their hospitality…it is top notch. It’s the reason many people go there.

I had just come from Ifeanyi’s place and I wanted to add to my happy day…I saw a girl and asked her to take a photo of me.

Two minutes later, I found out her name was Shidoo and she was an agent for Nestle Golden Morn. I told her my son loved it and I bought a pack.

She told me I qualified for a scratch card for the purchase and when I scratched, I won ₦200 airtime in my MTN line.

I had set out to have a happy day and it turned out really good.

Change is sure

For a while now I have been thinking a lot about my friend Dooyash, the friend I wrote about in What kind of mum are you?

We have been friends for as long as I can remember, we started nursery school together at age 4. We were also roommates in our final year in university.

Dooyash lived on Golden morn. A breakfast cereal which she had at any time of the day.

Lately my son, who has never liked Golden morn…ever, has suddenly fallen in love with it. It’s why I think of Dooyash these days.

SonTer never liked anything that even tasted like breakfast cereal. I remember how he used to feign puking whenever I fed it to him. The last time I tried was the day he froze and feigned shock for a few seconds…he is dramatic…like his mum.

This sudden love for something he never liked makes me realise, nothing stays the same… everything and everyone is subject to change.

In Pursuit

Yesterday, while I was at work, I read a post on Writing From The Heart with Brian; 100 Things I Love. The post led me to a few other similar posts and within 30 minutes I was convinced I had to do something similar.

For a couple of weeks I have been getting a nudge to focus more on positive things. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.

By the end of the day, I got home and decided to binge on some TED talks before starting up with dinner and coincidentally… or was it?… The third TED talk by Dmitry Golubnichy titled 100 Happy Days came up and I decided… I need to focus on the positive things a little more… the things that make me happy.

Just like Golubnichy said, we tend to set targets about almost everything except the most important thing in our lives; Our Happiness.

I’m in pursuit of happiness… my sister Msugh asked; “After 40 what else does one need 😄?”

I decided.

#100happydays

#happinesschallenge

#100thingsilove

Ease your mind

Everything can feel better when you talk to someone or when you write it down. It’s the reason I think diaries make the best reading materials.

I remember when Sandra lost her dad… Sandra is like a younger sister to me. The closest of many. She’s one to never show emotions. She didn’t cry, she remained strong and comforted her mum and sisters.

One weird day, she was acting up and I knew something was up. I cornered her and we got talking, real deep. Some where in this talk the dam broke. She talked a lot about how she missed her dad and how she couldn’t get to feel and experience certain things now that he was gone and how much it hurt.

At the end of it all, she expressed how she felt a lot better by merely talking about it.

Don’t always bottle up… Ease your mind every now and again… I promise you’ll feel ligher and better 🤞🏾

BEING THE BIGGER PERSON

This is one topic I have always thought deeply about.

At one point or another in our lives, we all get hurt; we all get angry and want to say hurtful things back at the person who has hurt us, we all feel we are being mistreated or betrayed. Sometimes we may have heard that a dear friend is saying hurtful things about us or they may even hurt us in our faces. In our homes, children will get upset by their parents, parents will be annoyed by their children… a wife’s “big mouth” will say regrettable things to her husband and a husband will say the most offensive things in return and it goes on and on and on and on.

In these situations, it is my opinion that there always has to be the bigger person. Being the bigger person doesn’t mean the other person is bad and then you are good. Being the bigger person only means you possess certain qualities and capabilities that he/she doesn’t possess. Being the bigger person strengthens you and your qualities and then maybe, just maybe, it MIGHT help the other person realise they didn’t have to be mean or offensive and then subsequently, the may handle situations better.

In a situation where it is clear that a person wants to pick a fight with you deliberately (and in this case, I will without apologies refer to the other person as the bad person), it is very important to know that you should never talk back to that person. When you talk back to a person, you have stooped to his/her level and you will definitely regret getting into it with them.

Being the bigger person is really hard, especially if you got some pride going there, and who doesn’t? One thing that stops us from taking the position of the bigger person is because in many conflicts, everyone seems to be the wronged and not the wrong one. No one wants to be honest. Sometimes I tell myself; “it doesn’t matter if you are the wronged, just be the bigger person”. The battle goes on within me and I hope you know, most of the time I don’t listen to me. It’s a WIP and I know I will get there one day.

The major way to be a bigger person is by admitting you are wrong and then apologizing – this of course is when you are wrong; but in a situation where you are not wrong and find yourself in a heady situation, the one and major quality you need to have is self control. This isn’t easy and if I may add, exercising self control with a difficult/challenging person is exceptionally difficult.

Another thing that can help is being positive. Seeing the positive side of every situation could play a very important part. When I apply positivity in being the bigger person, it’s usually with the 90/10 principle in mind. Since the day I found out about the principle I like to keep it handy. It helps with my self control.

What is the 90/10 principle? That’s another topic altogether. I think I should write about it some other time.

…this thought (being the bigger person) has been on my mind for a long while so I don’t think I should talk about it all in one day… to be continued.

Taking a walk

The first time I heard the lyrics to the song Memory Lane by Haley Joelle, I immediately lined up all the people I had lost to death…the ones I miss so much…

After months and months of listening to the song again and again, gradually, living humans started to pop into my head when the song played.

With the living humans, I tweak the lyrics somewhat.

There are many people that come to mind, people I used to be with everyday and everytime…People who are no longer around me or available to reach very easily like they used to…

…Like today, I sent a photo from two years ago to my darling Nguvie and I immediately started to sing… 🎼🎶🎵I walk down memory lane, ’cause I love running in to you…

I realised, if I want to see them or be with them, I can just take a walk down memory lane, 🎼🎶🎵cos it’s the only place that I see them again🎵🎶🎼… whenever I want.

In a nutshell

“Is there a maximum number words required per write up? I sometimes get the feeling that you didn’t write everything you wanted to 🤷🏽‍♀️😊”

I got the above message from my immediate older sister shortly after she read my post How dare you!!!!

I knew what she meant. Sometimes I feel like I could or should say more too.

The thing is, besides being aware of the fact that a large percentage of people would rather watch a skit than read a paragraph, I have also noticed that the world has become busy and continues to breed busy and impatient people.

Everyone is rushing off to work or home or to do one thing or the other.

I always remember a pastor who was assigned to our church about ten years ago or so, he always took pride in his sermons. He would always say his message was ‘hot, short and straight to the point’.

So like the pastor, I wouldn’t want anyone skipping what I have to say just by merely looking at the length of it or getting bored by the third paragraph; not knowing where I am headed.

I’ve got lots of thoughts to share, I hope you always stop by to read; I promise to keep it ‘hot, short and straight to the point’

😉

Silent whispers

Brian ran straight into his grandfather’s arms, shouting ;”Dadaaaaaaa”. Even at the age of 7, he had not progressed to calling him grandpa like his other siblings had, for him it was still Dada.

Abigail gave Dada a hug and sat across from him in his large and expensive office. Dada was her father inlaw but now it seemed like he was the father she never had.

Dada rose up and offered his seat to Brian and came to sit with Abigail on the other side of the desk. Abigail didn’t like the former action.

“Don’t make him sit in your chair. He may think it’s okay to sit in any chair wherever he goes. Remember what the Bible says in Luke 14:10‭-‬11;*

But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

“Well, he needs to know he cant limit himself to what people say he can’t get. He needs to learn to be bold and courageous enough to aim for and take what he wants” is what Dada had to say in response.

They argued for almost 30 minutes, the whole time, Brian sat comfortably in Dada’s chair, swinging from left to right and right to left as he played a game in Dada’s phone.

Abigail gave up arguing and whispered a prayer to God; ” No matter what he is taught Lord, help him to be able to discern between good and evil, right and wrong.

April

Beautiful Saturday morning.

The kids are all outside pranking each other.

I can hear them from inside. It’s the first day of April and everyone is looking to call someone a fool.

April fools.

I remember my most successful April fool practical joke, about 16 years ago. I had gotten my boyfriend (now husband) really bothered and fooled. He believed I had been involved in an accident and had been hospitalised.

I never tried another April fools practical joke on anyone again. I wonder why. I’m thinking this year may be different.

What’s the best April fools practical joke you ever played on someone or was ever played on you?

Please share.