Uncategorized – Mimi's Thoughts

Tyler, he keeps showing up everywhere

I started writing this piece on the 30th of October 2021. Thank God for WordPress and it’s ability to leave your drafts for you till you need them or you don’t.

The reason I started in the first place is explained in one line above as the subject. It happened that for a certain period of time, everywhere I turned, there was a movie showing, with this one guy in it. My son likes him. He called him only by one name, no matter how many times I told him his real name, Channing Tatum was always going to be Tyler to him. We were hooked on the movie ‘Step Up’ and it’s swquels at that time.

Well, it’s three years since that happened and my son is older now and so the ‘Tyler’ is now very much Channing Tatum.

I think he is a good actor. I also think he is drawn to characters where he often has to dance, somehow… Yeah, it is in his blood.

Tatum can play just about any role; a Veteran/Policeman, a lover, a male stripper, a street fighter and many more. He gets into character like he was born that way.

I recently saw two of his latest movies; Fly me to the moon and Blink Twice.

I loved Fly me to the Moon and was excited about the telling of the Apollo 11 mission from a “let’s fake a moon landing to show the world in case the main landing fails” angle.

As for Blink Twice, hmmmmmm. I’m still in shock. Unbelievable. This is a psychological thriller. In the movie, we see how social media can create idol worship, a view on anti-capitalism, horror, thrill and shock. I’m not sure what to make of it.

In a nutshell, the movie clearly intended to show how far people can go to feel powerful. My cousin Ngodoo says they took it too far. I laughed and still laugh whenever I remember her remark. That movie stayed with me for quite some time.

For Tatum, I can only say, he was so much in character and I’m pretty scared, it was so real.

I planned to schedule this to drop on the 30th of October 2024, just to be cute…but I changed my mind.

Just Feel it.

I listened to a song and I got sad. Very sad.

My friend Jessica couldn’t understand why it got to me that way.

“It’s just a song” She said.

No, it’s not just a song. It’s someone’s thoughts in words about how they feel but with instruments, making music. Music for you… The listener.

That’s the purpose… for you to feel what the composer/singer wants you to feel…and if you can, relate to it.

I feel it’s a waste of the creator’s efforts if we can listen to a song, read a book or see a movie and just move on like that, or just say “it’s just a song/movie/book”

Sometimes I have the effect of a movie stay with me for weeks after I’ve seen it; lingering, giving me goosebumps and sending my mind deep into thought.

When I was a kid, my siblings and I sat down one evening for a movie. We got to a thrilling part of the movie and we were all very tense. The hero had to cross a very damaged and crumbling bridge.

The whole family had been watching with fear and trembling when suddenly my dad said; “Relax, why are you all so bothered? They will cross just as the scriptwriter wrote it”.

He hadn’t been bothered at all, to him it was just a movie… And it’s like that for some people as well. Yeah. I’ve met them.

I have also met and know a few people who feel it just like I do and I love taking a moment to share these feelings with them.

Just when I was trying to round up this post, I got a message from my cousin Su’eddie.

He shared a song with me and how it made him very melancholic…I listened and I felt the exact same melancholy, especially at the last verse.

I love that I get to feel it. The music. The books. The movies.

Su’eddie’s song: Will the Circle be Unbroken
Sung by several singers including Kenny Rogers, Randy Travis and Shelby Lynne

My sad song: Tennessee Numbers
Morgan Wallen

Ease your mind

Everything can feel better when you talk to someone or when you write it down. It’s the reason I think diaries make the best reading materials.

I remember when Sandra lost her dad… Sandra is like a younger sister to me. The closest of many. She’s one to never show emotions. She didn’t cry, she remained strong and comforted her mum and sisters.

One weird day, she was acting up and I knew something was up. I cornered her and we got talking, real deep. Some where in this talk the dam broke. She talked a lot about how she missed her dad and how she couldn’t get to feel and experience certain things now that he was gone and how much it hurt.

At the end of it all, she expressed how she felt a lot better by merely talking about it.

Don’t always bottle up… Ease your mind every now and again… I promise you’ll feel ligher and better 🤞🏾

Choices

A long time ago, about 20 years or so, I had a window size poster of Michael Ballack on one side and Andriy Shevchenko on the other, I often found myself feeling bad for always having Ballack on display. I would sometimes turn it over to give Shevchenko a few days, but that was it…just a few days. I hated that I had to choose between the two even when it was clear I obviously preferred one of them.

Often in life, we get stuck between two things or even more and can’t decide which one to pick. We live in a world of choices and we often feel like it has to be one thing for another. I hate having to choose. I could peruse a menu and end up frustrated from the pressure of having to make a choice.

I listened to a sermon some time ago where the preacher had said he found his son in his bathroom trying to use his hair products, and when he asked the boy what he had been doing in his bathroom, he said he was looking for his dad to tell him he loved him. The dad then asked, “Did you want to tell me you love me or you did you want to use my hair product?”… His son’s reply was; “why can’t it both?”

Yes, why can’t it be both?

Life is filled with so many choices. Some are hard and some easy. For the hard ones, I often find myself wishing it was as easy as my poster, that way I could try both sides and get to pick the better outcome.

I think of you (Part 2)

A few months ago, I wrote in I think of you (Part 1) about my cousin and how he always popped into my head whenever it was 6:47 on the clock.

Even though it is clear that the brain forms connections between the neurons and it makes it very easy to connect one thing to another, I still can’t get over the fact that i have a face for almost every thing. It’s always one thing or the other. It could be something as little as a song or a word. Like the song Yellow by cold play, the place called Mbayion, the scotch whiskey Glenfiddich, the word ‘gallivant’, the animal ‘racoon’… I have a face for almost everything.

One other thing that gets me thinking of people is their birthdays. I have found that I never forget birthdays. Once I know it, it sticks. I have some birthdays stuck in my head for as long as 30 years.

At the beginning of the year I made a resolution to reach out to people as often as I thought of them. I am very bad with keeping in touch with people and just like many other new year resolutions we make, I failed to go through with this one.

While I hope to make good my resolution, I will continue to enjoy the thoughts of my friends and family as they pop into my head.

My mother

I recently read the poem ‘My Mother’ by Ann Taylor. As I read the lines about the things mother did when she was an infant, I wondered about my own mother. Did she sit and watch my infant head while I slept? I don’t know. Did she have sleepless nights and gaze upon my heavy eye when I was sick and in pain? I don’t know. Did she sing me a lullaby and rock me in her arms when I cried? I don’t know.

I don’t know. I was too little to know. I know a mother would most definitely do all that and a lot more but I would only guess that she did.

What do I know? My mind recalls most of the things she did from my first day at school onward. I know that she really did pay attention to all I had to say, She also told nice stories. I know she taught me to pray. I know she guided me in the ways of the Lord.

I know she cared and I know she still does. Even as a wife and a mother, she calls me to know if I am okay. She wonders if my household had a good night/day and if everything is alright… She wants to know if she can help in one way or the other.

Sometimes I feel horrible and tell myself it should be the reverse but I realise it’s just the mother in her over-shadowing the daughter in me.

My mother.

Enjoy life

Let your every day bloom and be bright like a daisy

Life is great. Even at the end of a bad day, we look forward to the next day because we know and hope deep down that the next day will be better. Everyone likes to quote “when there is life, there is hope” and it remains a fact. I feel that life can be better, if in addition to hoping that the next day be better, we add intentionality into making it better. In many situations this may not be easy but it is worth a try.

I’ll like to focus on intentionality in relationships. Relationships with our mothers, fathers, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, cousins and nibblings, mothers and fathers inlaw, sisters and brothers inlaw, friends, colleagues etc. One thing that helps us enjoy life and have great days for sure is the people around us and people who love us and also the people we love. No one is an island. That’s another fact… That is why I believe that one major thing we need to be intentional about is our relationships.

I’m not a clingy adult. Growing up in a large extended family and being the youngest, I used to be a clingy child, squeezing into people to sit and holding on to my older ones. I don’t know what happened along the way, I can only now describe myself as a “friendly” loner. I dare say, I grew up to realise that I was the last born at home only and not last born of the world. As an adult I have found myself building friendships and relationships but I never get clingy. I think I’m okay with that. However, I try to make sure that I maintain peace and love within these friendships and relationships. I may go long periods of time without reaching out to some, I may talk to some daily and some maybe weekly… But in my heart I make sure there aren’t any hanging ill feelings. I intentionally make sure of that.

I believe that, if for any reason someone is upset with me I should make atleast one effort to make things right. The hard part is the battle against pride, very very hard. I have seen my good intentions win the battle 90% of the time so I’m going to give myself a pat on the back.

The uncertainty of the where and when of the afterlife should be our driving force to do right by ourselves and others. I have chosen to continue to be intentional in my relationships and not only hope they get better. I hope we all do the same because life if great, life is meant to be enjoyed and to be enjoyed with loved ones.

From the Heart

Thank you Stephanie…

A few days ago, a cousin of mine dropped by the bakery to find out about my Christmas gift offers for this year. He particularly wanted to know what he could get for different amounts. He had a list of 3 groups, each group having a certain amount budgeted per head. This got me thinking. We all really love different people in different measures, sometimes without even knowing it. Most of the time, it is this measure of love that dictates the amount of money, time and energy we put into gifting to our loved ones.

I got a gift a couple of weeks ago, I was so deeply moved by this gift. It was a mug. Yes, a mug. One would wonder why a mug could mean so much to anyone. Well, first things first, any tea lover would always appreciate a mug…but that isn’t the reason why this mug melted my heart. It wasn’t even my birthday or any special event. I just got a message from Stephanie asking me if I could send someone over to pick up something for me. My first response was shame.

Stephanie is a customer, turned friend, turned sister. We have a special bond I can’t define. I can’t even put a finger on when she became special, but she simply is… special. She recently fell seriously ill. I never went over to see her, we just kept in touch on phone. That’s why my first response was shame. I asked myself why she still cared even after I had not been there for her like I should have. Anyway that’s a story for another day.

Stehnanie is a CAKE LOVER. We would sometimes quarrel about how much cake she was eating and whenever I decided to cut her off cake for a while, she would make up stories and try to convince me to sell cake to her. It was a back and forth thing, almost every week. That is why when the mug Stephanie sent to me arrived, I was deeply moved.

It read “I ❤️ You more than CAKE”

My son’s jaw dropped when I told him who sent it. “Mummy, that means she loves you very well o” was what he said… He knows just how much she loves cake too.

Today, I made some tea in my mug and decided to share this story of love and gifting. Show love to someone this Season, let it be from the heart. I will do same.

Mummy… Hug

I’m a big fan of small crowds. Very funny right? Yes, small crowds. What’s a small crowd by my standards? I come from a family of 7, mum, dad and 4 siblings. However, it was never just 7 of us living together. We always had extended family and sometimes friends and even paid help living in the same house with us. I can confidently say we were never less than 15 people under the roof of our small 3 bedroom flat. It never felt crowded at all. Never. We enjoyed different activities together, we ate together, we worked together. My mom was big on neatness and cleanliness so the ‘work together’ part was very important. Gradually everyone grew up and we’ve all gone our separate ways but we are still closely knit together. My siblings and I keep in touch and talk almost everyday, and it’s the same for the others… Terhemen, Moses, Esther, Angor, Terhemba, Saalu, Imoter, Shimayam and so many more. Every now and again I find myself craving small gatherings like the environment I grew up in. I find joy in small friendly crowds of 10 or so.

In this big love we shared and still share,We didn’t hug. No, we didn’t. My family wasn’t (and still isn’t) a hugging family. This didn’t mean we didn’t love each other, I guess we just expressed our love in other ways, hugging wasn’t just one of the ways. We were more into loud hailings and high fives… Yeah. I never gave it a thought or see anything wrong with it till I grew up and started mixing up with other humans. I’ve learned that people have different ways of expressing love and affection. I also think it’s a learned behaviour. You are either born that way or you learn it from people around you.

My 8 year old is a complete hugger. He can just walk up to me and hug or when I’m busy and can’t see him coming for a hug, he just alerts me by saying “mummy, hug”. I think he has made me more open to others. Lately I’ve found myself hugging family and friends before thinking about it…that’s new. I think I like it. I feel less rigid.

What cheers you up?

I may be having the worst day but when I eat a well cooked plate of beans, I feel better. For some people it’s ice cream, for others it’s alcohol, for some, chocolate etc. Everyone has that thing that does it for them.

In October 2017 I found myself in a very frustrating situation. I had just started a low carb diet and I realised beans had lots of carbohydrates. Growing up we were told to eat beans for protein. Yes. Beans has more protein than rice does and then it goes ahead to load up on carbohydrates too. No, I kid you not. For every 100g of beans you consume, you would be consuming 63g of carbohydrates and 21g protein.

I really love beans. I remember a long time ago, maybe 20 years ago or so. My cousin came back home from school. He had travelled over 500 kilometres. He arrived very late at night. There were no mobile phones then so he couldn’t tell us he would be arriving and so we didn’t make any meal ready for him. He was someone I could do anything for, I loved him very much and we were very close… I still do even though we aren’t so close anymore. When I realised by morning time that he had helped himself to my pot of beans, I cried, literally. I always had beans cooked and stored. He didn’t understand why I was reacting that way. He didn’t even believe i was upset. He only laughed. Yes, Imoter will laugh at you in your most serious moments and he’d get away with it, he’s adorable.

Back to the present, I’m 38 years old, I’m watching my weight and I need to be careful how many carbs I take in because my body has a love hate relationship with carbohydrates. Suddenly I find my self on a mission to find something besides beans that gives me joy. Something that isn’t bad for my body so that I can alternate with my beloved beans. I wonder what that is. Although I must confess, beans is the only high carb meal I cheat with and I don’t feel guilty.

I wish myself luck on my mission to find a replacement joy giver. For now, it’s still beans.