I had this plant for quite some time in a small cup. The plan was to groom it and then eventually move it to a bigger pot.
I kept procrastinating about the move.
While I procrastinated, I complained about how the plant itself didn’t want to grow… But it did. It wanted to grow and bloom.
I was the problem. I kept it in that cup for too long and the roots couldn’t grow deep and so the plant couldn’t grow.
One day, I moved it to a big pot.
The very next day, I saw a new leaf
Five days later, it flowered.
I likened it to the human mind. Just as a plant with deep roots stands firm, draws rich nutrients, and flourishes even in harsh weather, so too does a person whose knowledge runs deep.
When a plant’s roots spread far beneath the surface, it taps into hidden sources of water and minerals that shallow-rooted plants can’t reach. Likewise, when a person builds deep understanding…beyond surface-level facts, they access insights, creativity, and resilience that others might miss.
A deeply rooted mind can weather challenges, adapt to change, and continue to produce meaningful results.
The deeper our learning, reflection, and curiosity, the stronger and more fruitful our output becomes.
Depth sustains growth; both in plants and in people.
Google sent me a ‘then and now‘ photo collage this morning. It read July 2015 on the side of the older photo and July 2025 on the current photo.
I spent about two minutes looking at it, checking the changes and then something else nudged at my mind…it’s not just the physical changes. In the eyes of the current version of me, I could see other changes; emotional, mental,spiritual, social…so many changes
10 years is a lot of time. A lot has happened for me and I’m sure everyone else too.
I was able to make a small list of these things…some good, some not so good.
Personal Growth & Identity •I have become more self-aware. I understanding myself so well. I have no doubt about what I need, my limits or my passions. •My priorities have shifted, especially around peace, purpose, and authenticity. •I am more resilient; I’ve mastered disappointment and the ability to recover from it. •I have continued to enjoy spending time alone, appreciating solitude and reflection. Education & Learning… •I’ve always been a lover of new knowledge. But I had vowed that I wouldn’t go back to school again after my B.Sc in Accounting… but as they say, ‘Never say Never’, right? Well, I went ahead to get Postgraduate Diploma in Management and enrolled in an MBA program. I didn’t stop there. I got my certification as a professional Accountant. Family Life •I went from having my 2 year old to a 12-year-old boy. This right here is a huge change that came with emotional depth, joy, and many lessons.
•I went from 4 years of marriage to 14. I watched my marriage grow and also shift in several areas I didn’t imagine. Career and Business •I went back to the office… A 9 to 5. I never saw that one coming •I also saw my bakery operate even without me being present. I didn’t actually plan for that but it worked out good. Relationships •Some friendships deepened and some faded away.Some friends went to the cold hands of death…and I miss them so much. •My definition of love and loyalty has changed. Mind & Emotions •I faced fears, anxiety, heartbreak, and uncertainty but the prize was that I found strength through them. •I deepened my life coping skills with journaling, poetry, prayer, movies, and quiet reflection. Spirituality & Purpose •My faith, beliefs, and sense of purpose grew really stronger and become more personal. •I value peace over perfection, and truth over performance.
Health •I put on a lot of weight and have struggled with the troubles of weight loss, healthy eating and healthy living.
I wouldn’t trade these years. I am thankful for them. They brought me to where I am today, to the woman I have become and still becoming, and I can say boldly…I am proud of her
How have the last 10 years been for you? Would you trade anything?
I found myself turning at about 2:00am last night. The power was out and the heat was unbearable. After tossing for another 30 miuntes, I gave up. I picked up my tablet and began to write a welcome address for a few young Adults I was to meet with in the morning. When I was done at 3:15am, I decided to go through my notes on the tablet and then I began to clean up by deleting old and unnecessary stuff.
As I cleaned up, I came across my 40th birthday plan.
When I turned 40, I had a breakfast meeting with 40 ladies. The idea was to rub minds and share with each other. All went south for me when we were on the second agenda for the day.
The feelings game was an avenue for everyone to share something with the group. Before the game started, a variety of sweets were passed around and each sweet had a question. The rule was to share based on the sweet (question) you picked. Somewhere, somehow, along the way, the game got lost. People began to get up and focus on me. “Mimi did this for me one time”, “Mimi is this to me”, “Mimi is that”… It seemed like it would never end, and because I don’t handle praise too well, I began to cry and the tears refused to stop. The entire morning just seemed to follow in that line. I began to ask myself if I had sent out a silent vibe. I began to question the whole thing. Did they think I asked them to come so that they could say good things about me?
I cried so much, people began to question the tears. I began to feel out of place. I’m ashamed to say today, that I escaped and disappeared immediately after the photographs.
A friend asked a year later why I had cried like that, I explained that the praises and attention were too much for me and that hadn’t been the plan for the day. She didn’t quite understand and so I didn’t bother to try to explain.
Today, 2 years and 8 months later, I finally feel better and able to tell the story.
My 40th birthday Breakfast meeting didn’t go as planned but I sure learned plenty from that day. At least I know what not to do if there’s a next time and I’m sorry to say this; I know who not to invite.
This is one topic I have always thought deeply about.
At one point or another in our lives, we all get hurt; we all get angry and want to say hurtful things back at the person who has hurt us, we all feel we are being mistreated or betrayed. Sometimes we may have heard that a dear friend is saying hurtful things about us or they may even hurt us in our faces. In our homes, children will get upset by their parents, parents will be annoyed by their children… a wife’s “big mouth” will say regrettable things to her husband and a husband will say the most offensive things in return and it goes on and on and on and on.
In these situations, it is my opinion that there always has to be the bigger person. Being the bigger person doesn’t mean the other person is bad and then you are good. Being the bigger person only means you possess certain qualities and capabilities that he/she doesn’t possess. Being the bigger person strengthens you and your qualities and then maybe, just maybe, it MIGHT help the other person realise they didn’t have to be mean or offensive and then subsequently, the may handle situations better.
In a situation where it is clear that a person wants to pick a fight with you deliberately (and in this case, I will without apologies refer to the other person as the bad person), it is very important to know that you should never talk back to that person. When you talk back to a person, you have stooped to his/her level and you will definitely regret getting into it with them.
Being the bigger person is really hard, especially if you got some pride going there, and who doesn’t? One thing that stops us from taking the position of the bigger person is because in many conflicts, everyone seems to be the wronged and not the wrong one. No one wants to be honest. Sometimes I tell myself; “it doesn’t matter if you are the wronged, just be the bigger person”. The battle goes on within me and I hope you know, most of the time I don’t listen to me. It’s a WIP and I know I will get there one day.
The major way to be a bigger person is by admitting you are wrong and then apologizing – this of course is when you are wrong; but in a situation where you are not wrong and find yourself in a heady situation, the one and major quality you need to have is self control. This isn’t easy and if I may add, exercising self control with a difficult/challenging person is exceptionally difficult.
Another thing that can help is being positive. Seeing the positive side of every situation could play a very important part. When I apply positivity in being the bigger person, it’s usually with the 90/10 principle in mind. Since the day I found out about the principle I like to keep it handy. It helps with my self control.
What is the 90/10 principle? That’s another topic altogether. I think I should write about it some other time.
…this thought (being the bigger person) has been on my mind for a long while so I don’t think I should talk about it all in one day… to be continued.
Growth is not limited to physical development alone. We never stop growing. My sister Angie wrote a poem some time ago; we never stop playing, our toys only change.
It is the same with growth. We never stop growing, the factors only change.
As adults, we need to continue to grow, develop and renew ourselves mentally, emotionally and even physically.
Read a new book, watch a movie, find a good television series and spend time with it, research every new thing you learn from these.
Switch your genre. Move out of that comfort zone.
Have intelligent conversations, ask questions. Confirm facts from the conversations, don’t digest everything you hear.
A couple of months ago I wrote in Beauty in Candour about candor. In my post I mentioned how my pastor drew me with his openness and his vulnerability.
As I celebrate with him, his wife Holly and the entire Elevation Church on their 17th Anniversary as a community, I will like to share something I learned afresh from the anniversary worship experience.
It is okay to be vulnerable:
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
As the church waited to hear a word from Pastor Steven, it was clear, from his red skin colour and his bent head that he was crying and emotional. It was not till he whispered to Holly; “I can’t talk” that it hit me; this man was okay with showing the world that he didn’t always have it all together. Trust Holly to take it up from there and speak beautiful words of wisdom and encouragement.
This renewed realization coincided with something similar I recently read from day 35 of Rick Warrens The Purpose Driven Life, he said “Vulnerability is the pathway to intimacy” and then he also said “Honestly share your weaknesses, ministry begins with vulnerability”.
I pray for God’s grace upon the entire Elevation Church worldwide, may we continue to be renewed in our minds and our hearts. As we continue to build the “New You”, may we not forget the value of community and the need for deeper intimacy with each other through honesty, openness and vulnerability.
I have always been fascinated about crosswords. I spent most of my growing up days wondering if I could ever be like my cousin’s mum, Olga. She used to have crossword books and she would solve them page by page. It amazed me more because she was Russian and English was actually her second language.
I never did anything about my fascination for crosswords, infact I remember a little over 10 years ago, I found a crossword booklet but I never went past page 1.
Fortunately for me, our human love for screens has helped lately. About a year ago, just when I decided to do a 50% cut on social media, I decided to get alternative apps for screen time and I was able to get a good crossword game. It has five stages from Easy to Very Hard. Each stage has atleast 50 crosswords, so I have been doing a lot of word crossing for some time now.
Different words; related words, unrelated words, new words and old words, crossing here and there.
That’s how some of us use our words, as though it’s just a game. We throw them here and there… Not knowing and not minding how and where they fall.
The thing about words, is how you just can’t take them back. You say it and that’s it. Some words cut deep, real deep, and it can take a while or even forever for some people to heal.
I believe that I must think before I speak, just in the same way I pause and ponder on my words before entering them in the crossword.
Every human sheds off their outer layer of skin every hour, totaling about 500 million cells per day. This has been the explanation for one of man’s nuisances; dandruff. I guess it is not only the skin that sheds off layers. I guess the mind and the way we think get to shed off some stuff too.
After I wrote about how Su’eddie was a pain in my neck about an uncompleted project I had been working on, I decided to face my fears and dust the old material off and do a little work on it.
I spent almost an hour editing and rereading all the material on the file and I got really worried and frustrated. I happened to disagree with so many ideas. I also noticed that the writer of the material was too rigid and judgmental. I decided to check the details of the document and I noticed that I started writing it on the 13th of July, 2012.
That was me 10 years ago, judgmental and rigid.
Only a couple of days ago, I was talking with my sister about a mutual friend who had changed over the years and how she did not take offence about little things like she used to anymore. I guess time changed her too.
They say change is the one thing that remains constant, I am glad this change is for good.
