Contrary to some reviews I’ve seen, I think the adaptation of Reminders of Him was not so bad at all. Maybe because I expected worse, maybe because movie makers often leave out so many important details.
Don’t get me wrong, details were left out here too… especially the background story for Kenna. Nothing was really mentioned there, and if you know the book, you know just how much that backstory carries the emotional weight of everything else.
I think that’s the tricky thing with adaptations. If you have not read it, you may feel it lacks a thing or two, and you won’t even know what it is. It just feels… slightly hollow in places. But because I read the book, I comfortably filled in the gaps. I knew what wasn’t being said, I could feel the missing layers, and somehow that made the experience fuller for me.
Watching it felt like reading between the lines in real time… like my mind was quietly supplying all the depth the screen couldn’t quite hold.
On the whole, I think it was a decent job. Not perfect, not complete, but still worth the watch… especially if, like me, you walked in already carrying the story in your heart.
One large thumbs up to Tyriq Leshon Withers, the actor who played the role of Ledger… I want to see more of him in such roles.
Today, I set up a wedding cake. I haven’t done much of that in a while. The blessing called Amaka has held the fort for me at the bake shop for a couple of years now. Every once in a while I get a day or two off work, and when there’s some baking to be done, Amaka almost always goes; ‘Aha, ma, you will work today. e don tey wei you work’. I was off work on Thursday and Friday, so I worked on a wedding cake at the bake shop… And so today we set up at the venue.
There’s something about the final moments, the precision, the little adjustments, the way everything comes together… it feels deeply satisfying. Standing back to look at it, I felt it again: this is something I love…
…But alongside that feeling came another truth, just as clear… I am not ready to fully step into the hustle of it… Again.
I had to sit with that thought…Because we often tell ourselves that if we love something, we should go all in. Turn it into a business. Scale it. Push it. Monetize it. Build something big out of it. But what if love doesn’t always need pressure to prove itself?
Baking, for me, is more than a skill or a side hustle. It is a soft place. A quiet rhythm. Measuring, mixing, watching something rise, layering, coating and frosting… it settles me. It brings me back to myself in a way very few things do.
I’ve come to realize something important: There is a difference between loving a part of something and wanting to carry the full weight of it… I love the setup, the artistry and the moment where everything comes together beautifully.
But the constant demand? The deadlines, the pressure, the expectation to always be “on”? That part feels heavy. I’ve done that full time and I’ve done it part time. I think I am more at peace with the part time.
And I am not ready to trade my all of my calm for that. So maybe the answer isn’t “all in” or “not at all.” Maybe it looks like this: Choosing baking as my soft space first, and a business second. Taking on only what excites me. Saying yes slowly, intentionally. Letting it grow gently, without force.
I don’t have to turn my passion into nonstop chase, I can choose to create at my own pace and become the kind of baker people are happy to wait for… Because the truth is, I don’t want to lose the part of baking that heals me just to gain the part that pays me.
That feeling I had today… setting up that cake… it wasn’t a push to do more… It was a reminder of what matters. I can hold both. The calm… and the craft.
Some people receive gifts like fireworks. They scream or squeal, they jump, they call everyone in the room to witness the moment. Their joy is loud, expressive and so impossible to miss.
Others receive gifts like sunlight. They smile… softly, their eyes warm, gratitude showing gently on their face. They may say “thank you” in a way that feels almost too simple, but it lingers. Their joy is quiet, but steady… not actually lacking, it’s just contained.
Then there are those who receive gifts like poetry. They go inward. They notice the details… Almost all… The choice that was made, the intention… Why this, and not something else? They may not react immediately, and sometimes that can be misunderstood. But later, in their own quiet space, they revisit the moment. They feel it deeply. They keep it.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t react enough when I receive a gift… I feel like I disappoint the giver. As though my gratitude is too soft. Some of those times I find myself switching from sunlight to fireworks just for the giver.
I am not sure if I have ever received like poetry… And I don’t say that because I am judging the poetry category… It’s just not how I respond.
How do you receive gifts? Are you Fireworks, Sunshine or Poetry?
Last year, my sister Msugh pointed me to a passage in 2 Samuel 19:31–39, and it really stayed with me.
It’s about an old man, Barzillai. King David invited him to come and stay with him, to enjoy the good life in the palace, but Barzillai basically said, “I’m too old for all that, give that chance to a younger man.” No drama. No ego. And honestly… that hit. I think he was a wise man… Because if we’re being real, many cases today don’t look like that… Many older people are still holding tightly to power, positions, and control… even when there are capable, ready younger people waiting for a chance.
I don’t mean any disrespect. It’s just the truth exploding from my insides.
The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:1 that there’s a time for everything. A time to lead… and a time to release. And there’s something powerful about knowing when your role is shifting from doing everything to raising others to do it too.
At the same time, for the younger ones, it’s not just about wanting the seat. It’s about being ready for it. Growth still matters. Character still matters. Preparation still matters. All these matter… Very much.
But still… space has to be made.
Barzillai didn’t lose anything by stepping back. If anything, his wisdom became louder than his presence.
And I found myself asking quietly, “When my own season shifts, will I have the grace to step back like that?”
Maybe that’s the balance we need: Not a fight between generations, but a handover.
Because the future moves forward best when one generation is willing to rise… and the other is willing to let them.
It’s really beautiful when you are with someone who meets you intellectually.
The conversations flow and also, ideas bounce effortlessly between you. You don’t have to shrink your thoughts or over explain your perspective. There’s mutual respect in your thinking, your reasoning, and the basic ways you both engage with the world. For some of us, especially those who are sapiosexual, this kind of connection feels like home… when you marry someone like that, it can feel like you got it right.
But the truth is, there’s the part people don’t talk about enough: the fact you both are Intellectually compatible does not guarantee you will be emotionally compatible.
You can be equally matched in education, logic, and curiosity… and still experience a gap when it comes to emotions.
I have come to learn that there are different ways people show up in a relationship:
1. Educational/Intellectual Intelligence: how you analyze, process, learn, and understand the world. 2. Emotional Intelligence: how you feel, express, regulate, and connect on a deeper, human level.
Sometimes… Or might I say, most times, these don’t grow at the same pace in two people.
One partner may be deeply expressive, emotionally aware, and intuitive. The other may be thoughtful, logical, and grounded but less fluent in emotional expression. Neither is wrong. They’re just… different languages.
If you find yourself in a relationship where you are the one who feels deeply and expresses it openly, you may recognize a quiet tension where, you want presence, understanding, emotional closeness… but instead, they offer solutions, silence, or structure.
This often gets you thinking to yourself and saying things like: “I don’t need you to fix this. I just need you to feel it with me.” they on the other hand might be thinking: “I’m trying to help. I just don’t know what else to do.”
When this happens, something subtle takes over… you begin to feel alone in your emotional world, even while being loved.
Over time, especially in long marriages, something shifts. You start to see your partner clearly… not as who they could be, but as who they are. Acceptance.
That’s when you get to make a choice: Do you keep pushing for them to become what they may never fully be? Or do you learn how to live well within the truth of who they already are?
For some, the answer becomes the word I mentioned before… acceptance. This is not the kind that silences you but the kind that understands patterns, adjusts expectations, and builds balance. This balance doesn’t mean you stop needing emotional connection. I think it just means you become intentional about how you meet that need.
If you feel up to it, you can express what you need in the moment. For example, “I don’t need advice right now, I just want you to listen.” You could also take some moments to recognize their effort, even when it comes in a different form Then, you could also create other safe spaces for emotional expression with friends, or by journaling and other creative outlets/methods.
Balance also may require you to understand one hard truth: One person may not meet every part of you and that doesn’t automatically mean something is broken… I think it is just what it is.
One fine line that raises a concern for me is the line between acceptance vs. silent self-abandonment. Acceptance can bring peace. True… But sometimes, it can also come with quiet self-adjustment that goes unnoticed. So in the midst of all the balance and acceptance, the question is this; Are you still emotionally nourished in this relationship… just in a different way? Or have you learned to carry your emotional world mostly on your own? And most importantly, how does it feel deep inside?
Like I said in the beginning there’s something beautiful and also powerful about a relationship where; You are intellectually matched, You understand each other’s limits and you choose to stay… with awareness, not illusion. It’s not perfect. It’s not a movie script… it’s real.
And sometimes, real love isn’t about finding someone who mirrors you in every way. It’s about building something steady with someone who meets you deeply in some ways while you gently learn how to hold the rest.
If you find yourself in this kind of relationship, you’re not alone.
And if you’ve found your balance, even quietly… that’s not something small. That’s wisdom.
Last week I spent some time making a list of Elevation Worship albums titles… Not for any particular reason, just for knowledge sake.
1. We Are Alive (2008) 2. God With Us (2009) 3. Kingdom Come (2010) 4. For the Honor (2011) 5. Nothing Is Wasted (2013) 6. Only King Forever (2014) 7. Here as in Heaven (2016) 8. There Is a Cloud (2017) 9. Hallelujah Here Below (2018) 10. Graves into Gardens (2020) 11. Old Church Basement (2021) 12. LION (2022) 13. Can You Imagine? (2023) 14. When Wind Meets Fire (2024) 15. So Be It (2026)
I found fifteen, and I don’t know if that is all there is, but since the Graves and Gardens album in 2020, I have been drawn to their music. It lifts my mood and spirit.
I shared here in Can You Imagine about how good the 2023 album was. Before that I had written and shared my obsession with the album LION. Today I am in awe of the current one… So Be It.
I’ve caught myself crying a number of times while listening to some of the songs on this one.
From the humbling feeling that comes with the song ‘Thank You’ to the way I just surrender to ‘God I’m just grateful’ and also the vibe in ‘Alleluia’… The entire album is just beautiful.
As usual, Elevation Worship brings in worship leaders to praise and worship along with them on every album. The worship leaders on this album are Tiffany Hudson, Chandler Moore, Brandon Lake, Davide Mutendji, Tori Elliott, Isaiah Templeton, Leeland Mooring, Jonsal Barrientes and Chris Brown (When I say Chris Brown).
The album is available on music streaming platforms.
I have been reading romance novels since I was a teenager…
I didn’t even know this was a thing.
Somewhere along the way, quietly and without any fanfare… the “why choose” trope found its way onto the shelves, built an audience, and settled into its own space in the world of romance… and I completely missed it.
From what I’ve now come to understand, the idea itself isn’t entirely new. Its roots stretch back into earlier romance (especially in fantasy and paranormal spaces) where a woman might be surrounded by multiple love interests, where each interest offers something different. But in those stories, there was almost always a final decision. A choice had to be made. One stayed, the others faded away. That was the rule…
Then something shifted. I have come to learn, that in the early to mid 2010s, particularly within indie publishing spaces, writers began to experiment. They questioned that rule. What if she didn’t have to choose? What if love didn’t need to be reduced to a single outcome? And just like that, without asking permission, the trope evolved.
My research tells me that by the late 2010s into the early 2020s, it had fully arrived. Not just as an idea, but as a recognized and named trope. Platforms like Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing and Wattpad gave writers the freedom to explore it, and readers responded. Strongly.
Fans of this trope say there is something quietly relieving about it. No tension of “who will she pick.” No sense of loss when a favorite character is left behind. No pressure for one person to be everything. Just… an expansion of what love can look like.
And yet, here I am, only just discovering it.
But when I think about it, it makes sense why I didn’t.
This trope tends to live in genres I don’t naturally gravitate toward… fantasy romance, dark romance, paranormal worlds, academy settings (except the Love Hypothesis 😁)… spaces where imagination stretches wider and the rules of reality are more flexible. That’s where “why choose” feels most at home.
For me, I tend to sit more with quieter, grounded stories. The slow ones. The reflective ones. The ones that feel like sitting by a window in the evening with your thoughts. So yes, of course it slipped past me.
Still, I find something about it… interesting. It challenges something we have long accepted without questioning that love must be singular to be valid. That choosing one means losing others. That fullness only comes in one form. “What if it didn’t?” it seems to ask.
So, while I see why people would like the trope, I on the other hand, believe in choosing. I believe in the weight of it. In the clarity of it. I believe, even in the ache that sometimes comes with it.
I love the deep feeling that comes with “I choose You”… Not everyone. Not everything. Just… you. Even if it hurts. Even if it costs something. Even if it doesn’t come easy. That, to me, is where love sharpens into meaning.
So while the shelves may be expanding, and the stories evolving, I find myself still drawn to that singular thread… The courage and the consequence… of choosing one.
There’s something quietly beautiful about a thrift book. It’s not just the lower price or the softened pages, it’s the feeling that the story has been held before. Maybe someone paused where you will pause. Maybe they underlined a sentence that will mean something entirely different to you. There’s a quiet continuity in it.
I stumbled into the world of thrift books two years ago on Instagram. I had no idea it existed in my location. I gradually began adding to my little library.
Today I walked into one of the bookshops I used to buy books from and found out they had some affordable books… Apparently they are thrifting these days.
I bought True Believer by Nicholas Sparks. I opened it and found a hug inside.
It was a simple picture, two women, wrapped in each other in a quiet, unguarded moment. No names, no date, no explanation. Just warmth, captured and tucked between pages, as though someone once needed to keep that feeling close.
I paused longer than I expected to.
Who were they to each other? Friends, sisters, mother and daughter? Was it a reunion or a goodbye? There’s something about a hug that holds both joy and ache at the same time… and somehow, that feeling lingered even without the story.
The book was second-hand, but the moment inside it didn’t feel used or old. It felt alive.
There’s something I’ve been quietly thinking about for some time now. You know how we are when something is really good?… A meal that surprises you…. That first sip of coffee when you didn’t even realize how much you needed it…. A movie that holds your attention so completely you forget everything else exists…. A song that feels like it understands you… A book that is so good, it stays with you long after the pages close at ‘the end’.
We don’t hold back in those moments.
We say it freely… “Wow, this is so good.”… “I love this.”… “This is amazing.”
There’s no hesitation. No filtering. No shame. So I’ve been wondering…
Why do we go quiet in other moments that feel just as good… sometimes even more?
I’m speaking about those personal/private experiences. Those moments of closeness, joy, connection… we often soften our reactions. We feel deeply… but express lightly. We say less than we mean or sometimes we even hold back words that are already sitting on our lips. We just refuse to acknowledge the feeling and how good it is… And it’s so subtle that we don’t even question it.
We just… do it.
As I continued to think about this, I said to myself, we don’t do this because anyone sat us down and said, “Don’t express joy.”
But in small, quiet ways, we learned: Don’t be too much… Don’t be too open… Don’t say everything you feel. So we became skilled at managing ourselves. I know I am.
We learned how to respond appropriately instead of honestly. We say: “That was nice.” or “I enjoyed that.” But we hesitate to say exactly how we feel. Things like “This feels really good.”… “I’m fully in this moment.”… “This is affecting me more than I expected.”
We prefer to play safe we refuse to let ourselves be real.
Now, the area that I ponder on a little more is in shared experiences. The withholding of words to express our feeling and/or the silence doesn’t just affect us, it affects the connection. Because there’s another person there. Another human being, present in the same moment, possibly wondering: Is this landing well? Are we both here? Does this matter to you too?
Have the right expression gives reassurance, clarity and it also deepens the connection. I think without it, something will always be missing.
After all the thought, I don’t think it’s one single reason that holds us back. Sometimes it’s fear… of sounding awkward, or too expressive, or misunderstood.
Sometimes it’s unfamiliarity… we were never really taught how to express enjoyment clearly. I certainly was never taught that.
And sometimes… it’s vulnerability… We don’t want to risk it and be too emotionally exposed…. Because saying “this feels good” is not just about the moment, it’s about allowing yourself to be seen in that moment. Being seen fully and honestly is not always easy.
But then, holding back costs us something or things. We don’t just protect ourselves, we limit the experience… something meant to be deep, shared, and alive is now made to look composed and quieter than it needs to be and slightly distant too.
We can decide to let go and feel it and express it and say it and do it
For example, when you are in a church congregation and you feel deeply moved, don’t keep your hands down or your tears hidden… Or in the heat of a romantic moment where the words “I love you” sit heavily on your tongue, let it out, say what you feel…. at work when a brilliant idea comes to mind, don’t swallow it… among friends and family, say exactly how their presence makes you feel.
Let be expressive, not loudly… Not performatively. Just honestly.
Whe we do, something shifts. Expression becomes feedback… Feedback builds trust… Trust deepens the moment. And suddenly, you’re not just having an experience… you’re inside it. And the other person is too.
This is the kind of honesty I’m learning to lean into. I’m learning to say: this is what I’m feeling… This is where I am… This matters to me…. No overthinking… No editing. Just awareness… spoken out loud. Not for approval. Not for performance. Just for presence.
I have practiced holding back and I am good at it. So I think it’s time to practice something new and master it. I’m learning that Life Is not meant to be experienced halfway.
We don’t hold back when the food is good. We don’t apologize when a song moves us. So maybe we don’t have to hold back in other meaningful moments either… Because sometimes, the difference between a good experience and a deeply fulfilling one… is simply being willing to say it.
