Mimi's Thoughts

LION

I would be a liar to say no music album has ever engrossed me as much as the new Elevation Worship album ‘LION’ has. If I may be totally honest, I would say that the previous album, ‘Old Church Basement’ totally rocked and it redefined my personal relationship with Jesus… That’s a tale for another day…but I’ve just got to say, I’m totally hooked on this LION album.

LION is a message, it’s like a series of sermons, each one with its own different tune. Every song finds a way to minister to a specific situation. Genre wise, LION has a song for everyone…if you ask me, that’s what makes it amazing. You would think a particular genre doesn’t appeal to you, yet every song in LION appeals to almost everyone. It’s like putting one song or more from John Legend, Daughtry, Hugh Masekela and Guns N Roses in one album.

‘Bye Bye Babylon’ reminds and consoles me that it won’t be too long anymore, the pain and suffering of this world will come to an end and we will be home with our father.

‘What I see’ is such a bubbly Easter song.

‘Same God’ is so beautiful, it carries so much submission and vulnerability in it and ‘The One You Love’ is such a beautiful love song…although, ‘Dancing’ is also a beautiful love song. I might say ‘Why’ also sits among the love songs.

For those of us who don’t mind a little wild and unconventional, there is something for us. There’s: ‘Water is wild’, ‘LION’ and ‘Might get loud’.

Water is Wild – Chris Brown and Brandon Lake

‘This is the Kingdom’ is another beautiful one. The entire song lists the beatitudes just as they appear in Matthew 5:1-12.

As an African, I loved and wore out ‘No one’. It’s african and upbeat style is so beautiful and it sure does keep me moving during workouts.

Other beautiful songs in this album include ‘Welcome Resurrection’, ‘Forever YHWH’ and ‘You Really Are’. I would recommend this album any and everyday.

Artists on this album include

Valley Boys
Chris Brown (of Elevation)
Jonsal Berrientes
Brandon Lake
Pat Barrett
Joe L Barnes
Tiffany Hudson
Chandler Moore

Come back and leave a comment when you listen. I would like to hear your comments.

Enjoy.

Time passes and things do change

3 Christmases ago, my son participated in a chair dance competition and he lost to the winner. He cried so much it hurt. That had not been the only time I had seen him cry after losing at a game or sport. I spent the next couple of months telling him at any chance I could get how he didn’t always have to win at everything he participated in. I didn’t tell him not to keep trying, but I made him realise that he could win some and then lose some. I didn’t dwell too much on it and I didn’t even revisit the issue at all. Somehow, I saw him win several chair dance competitions and dance competitions at parties and I sighed heavy sighs of relief each time.

Today I was at a child’s party with him and next thing I know he’s been thrown out at the 3rd stage of a dance competition. My heart rate went up instantly. I was afraid he’d make a fuss, or worse, I was afraid he’d cry. To my surprise, he bounced back to his seat with a big smile and a little chuckle. I was happy for a moment and then the fear inside me came up for air. I suddenly remembered how in reference to how Will Smith had laughed at Chris Rock’s joke about Jada but later smacked Chris in the face, my sister had said “people laugh a lot to hide pain so sometimes it’s hard to tell”.

I got into an argument with myself about how he was only 8 years old and couldn’t put up a facade if he wasn’t happy and all. While I argued with myself, I saw him try to get into another competition. He was turned down…15 minutes later he entered into another competition. He was asked to bring his mum to join him for the game and I obliged. While we waited for the rules, I asked him why he was entering into all the games and competitions and with his usual bubbly spirit and a large smile he said “I want to win a prize, I will keep participating in all games till I win a prize today”.

I played the game with him and he won.

I learned some lessons today:

I worry too much.
Things get better with time.
Everything will ALWAYS be alright in the END.

I hope I learn these lessons long enough to use them as a guide for him.

I am the one

Often in life, we find ourselves trying really hard to prove to the people in our lives that we love them. Many times they do not even ask for this proof. Some of us go ahead to show and prove with acts of kindness/service, words of affirmation, gifts and so on. Some, if not most times, these methods go unnoticed and/or unappreciated. One can only imagine the disappointment that comes with it.

For some time now, I’ve been on an emotional joy ride. Just the other day, I shared with an egroup how I used to think that God liked me…but it only recently really hit me… He really really loves me. He loves me in a way that is so amazing, I don’t need to pull out any love language.

I have a piece I’ve been writing on the elevation worship current album ‘LION’. I should have it ready in a few days. One song from that album had me reexamine my entire relationship with my maker.

I didn’t choose God, God chose me. There’s nothing I can do that would make Him hate me. Every day I wake up with breath in my lungs, it’s evidence that He has chosen me again. He loves me. He loves me. I don’t need to prove that I love Him for him to love me. His love never fails. He loves the real me, not the version I show to people.

This realisation is amazing. It changed my life.

I would recommend this song any day, not only does it sound nice, it feels good too.

2 is a crowd

I’ve probably always been in a clique without knowing it. Way back in my secondary school days, I got punished one day, along with some of my close friends. We were being punished for taking our food out of the dinning area. It was totally prohibited, but we had a few spices and garnishes and so we had wanted to enjoy the meal in the comfort of our space. While we received a week long punishment, the words we kept hearing were “your clique”. We were 7 friends, unconsciously, we preferred to do stuff together and over time, I guess it seemed like a preplanned group.

In my university days, something similar happened, by the time I had been rounding up, I realised I had kept company with a select close group the entirety of my stay. 5 years.

Some years ago, I found myself in an unconsciously formed clique again…but this is where it got different. At the precise moment when we found out we were knit, we began to make it intentional. I would like to admit that those few years we maintained an intentional group friendship were some of the best years of my adult life. We were all strange “girls”. Each of us needing to be alone sometimes…and so we always knew when to give each other space. We all respected each other’s time and privacy yet, we were in all our businesses, we looked out for each other. We made plans and we made time to carry out those plans. One that remains undone is our road trip. We never got to do certain stuff, with all 5 of us in our 30’s with families, businesses and/or jobs to attend to, it was a tough one, trying to synchronize our lives for some activities.

Looking back at all the group friendships I’ve had, I have come to realise that I feel crowded by one on one friendships. I have some of them and I love them, but I think i carry traits of a wolf. I do better in a pack. The average wolf pack size is 6…that’s just right for me.

In the absence of a pack, I always fly solo 😁.

11th

I wrote the following words for my 7th wedding anniversary, I read them again this year and found that I feel even stronger about them, 4 years later… I’m writing them again.
⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

When you put a seed into the ground, it shoots above the soil, it develops leaves and begins to branch out. Its flowers begin to bloom the way they are meant to and then it bears fruit. You look at it… It’s healthy and you like it. But you wouldn’t have that smile if you didn’t take care of it. For that seed to grow and develop, it needs the right amount of water, sunlight and the right temperature as well.
We planted a seed 11 years ago and just look how well it has grown… Daily we rise to water it… When the sun gets too hot we find ways to shield it… When the temperature gets too high we find ways to cool it down… I can gladly say that I’m enjoying the daily growth and the branches and flowers and fruits that we have made so far… In another life I would still plant with you my love. I Wonder how this seed will look like 50 years from now… I guess we have to wait till then to find out.
Happy 11th anniversary sweetheart

Am I abusing my strength?

Sometimes my strength annoys me. Especially today. Today, I’m very upset with my strength. I have had a very very busy week… so, today being a Saturday, I slept in till 8:30am and I woke up with the words; “today I’m not lifting a finger”. To that declaration, my husband said; “You need it babe, you rarely rest at all”.

So there I was, propped up in the living room because both my son and his dad were out of the house for a morning game of soccer. If you are a woman in my situation, you would know how valuable this is…having the men in your home out of the house 😁😁😁😁😁. I selected the right movie for the occasion, a cheesy romcom… nothing too serious to stress me. They hadn’t been gone 30 minutes when I got a call from someone I had been expecting to call with a job opportunity. His call said it was urgent and I had to meet up with him immediately. I did. Next thing I know, I am prepping for a job that will last atleast one week. I got home at 6:45pm. I was tired. The reasonable thing would have been to kick my feet up and sleep. Well, I didn’t.

I am writing this at 11:01pm. I’ve done a load of laundry, I’ve straightened the house and I have made dinner. I selected the movie ‘savannah’ and I was about to watch it when I realised I was being insane. I should be asleep, resting. Why and how I could still be up and about after the day I had was totally wrong. It’s wrong that I don’t let myself rest. My strength should not be abused. I’m here hoping I take my advice.

Grief

When I was growing up, my family took many trips to my mother’s village home. We took these trips to go and lay some very close people to rest. My maternal family has lost so many people. If I were to make a list, we would have over 20 people on it, each death hitting harder than the last. We would cry, lay to rest and try to get on.

I never gave grief much thought till I lost a friend and then a cousin in the span of 1 month. Grief is hard. Grief is depressing. Grief is many things. One thing I know for sure is; grief is felt and expressed differently.

While I was trying to recover from the numbness of losing my friend, death hit my maternal family again. We lost our spice (story for another day). I watched everyone closely and realised everyone was grieving differently. Some of us spoke about her often with tears in our eyes, some of us remained mute and held back tears, some cried non stop, some refused to say her name or listen to anyone say her name… Everyone was hurting differently. One year after her death, everyone is still grieving… Most of us still don’t want to say her name, some of us think of her with a smile, some of us still cry… Grief never ends. It was on that day of her remembrance I wrote about the sad truth/fact I have come to accept, life goes on.

Things I have learnt in my grieving period:

Grief is normal.
We can’t dictate how a person should grieve.
There is no way around grief. You have to go through it to get out of it.
Grief will last as long as it wants to, you can’t force it to stop.
It is not predictable. It comes and it goes. Hits you at unexpected moments.
There is No shame in grieving.

I used to cry while listening to Drowning by Chris Young but now I even smile sometimes… Grief gets easier, it just rarely ends.

Sad truth

Sometime last year I was scrolling through the pages on the blue app and I found one of Torkwase’s questions, it read; “what is the ‘hardest’ truth/fact you have learnt?” I started to type my reply and stopped right in the middle of it. I couldn’t write it. I was half pissed and half ashamed. I didn’t write anything. Today, 13 months later, I remembered that question and I have the same reply.

I lost a very dear friend on the 4th of December 2020, on that same day my sisters came into town. They were sad for me, they knew what I was going through. The thing is, when I woke up that morning, I had a truck load of responsibilities I had to see through. It was the reason my siblings were in town. I never knew that before the day would get going I would get the news about my friend’s passing. The next day was the wedding of one of my cousins. I was responsible for almost all of the planning.

I didn’t explain what I meant by “my sisters came into town”. My sisters and I have this thing. We can talk, laugh and go crazy for hours, especially when we haven’t seen each other in a while. I had been looking forward to seeing them for weeks…but when they got here, I was numb. I spent the entire 4th of December in a haze, running errands and trying to be normal. I didn’t sleep. Not even a wink. By day break on the 5th, I decided not to put a damper on the wedding and its activities so I decided to put up a facade and be merry with everyone.

It turned out to be a beautiful day. I ended up having a lot of fun. My staff and students cooked and served the food at the wedding and it was lovely. I had another wedding cake to present at the other side of town, I tried to do it but it couldn’t work out, Sandra ended up doing that for me and she did great. The whole family had a great day. We took lots of photos and caught up with all the family members we hadn’t seen in a while. After the wedding, we sat at my dad’s house and talked and shared drinks till almost midnight.

That was when it hit me… I lost my friend, it hurt. It really hurt but I went ahead and did the things I had to do and continued with my life. That truth shocked me, it upset me and there was nothing I could do about it, it was the sad truth… Life goes on.

So Torkwase, that’s my sad, ‘hardest’ truth/fact… Life goes on.

Rest

Rest can be productive

I belong to a closed motivational group of eight members; today, being the first day of the year, I asked if we had any goals I could key into. One of us said she planned to get pregnant, one said she planned to make more money and lose weight and another said she wanted to rest this year. Her exact words were; “I have stressed myself so much in the last 3 years, I just want to rest now”. I know a number of people who may say that isn’t productive. They could come up with reasons why rest can slow you down. I can take a wild guess and say that even she who plans to rest this year may have thought it a bad idea a couple of years ago. At that time, she may have need the stress to get her going, today she needs to rest to get her going. Life changes and we need to take decisions as it does.

Rest is when you cease to work or move in order to relax or sleep or recover your strength. So I believe the period of time needed for rest depends on how long it takes for you to recover your strength. Physical strength takes a shorter time to muster but when it comes to mental health, I believe one can and should take as long as they need.

Only this evening I was telling my husband how yesterday I was too tired to continue a daily online fitness class I had enrolled in online. After I had spent almost one hour talking myself into logging in, I finally did. I clicked on ‘Day 5’ and the words “REST DAY, Your body and muscles need to get some rest” popped on the screen. My jaw dropped in shock. Apparently, they have studied the program and they know that the average human would need to rest by day 5. I rested. Today, day 6, I faced it without any tiredness or reluctance.

It’s the first day of January in the year 2022. If you worked (physical or mental) hard in the previous year(s) and feel tired and you feel the need to take a rest, please do. The rest may be productive.

I plan to do a follow up on this about the importance of rest but in the meantime I will conclude with the words of Alan Cohen “there is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and over look neither”.

Enjoy life

Let your every day bloom and be bright like a daisy

Life is great. Even at the end of a bad day, we look forward to the next day because we know and hope deep down that the next day will be better. Everyone likes to quote “when there is life, there is hope” and it remains a fact. I feel that life can be better, if in addition to hoping that the next day be better, we add intentionality into making it better. In many situations this may not be easy but it is worth a try.

I’ll like to focus on intentionality in relationships. Relationships with our mothers, fathers, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, cousins and nibblings, mothers and fathers inlaw, sisters and brothers inlaw, friends, colleagues etc. One thing that helps us enjoy life and have great days for sure is the people around us and people who love us and also the people we love. No one is an island. That’s another fact… That is why I believe that one major thing we need to be intentional about is our relationships.

I’m not a clingy adult. Growing up in a large extended family and being the youngest, I used to be a clingy child, squeezing into people to sit and holding on to my older ones. I don’t know what happened along the way, I can only now describe myself as a “friendly” loner. I dare say, I grew up to realise that I was the last born at home only and not last born of the world. As an adult I have found myself building friendships and relationships but I never get clingy. I think I’m okay with that. However, I try to make sure that I maintain peace and love within these friendships and relationships. I may go long periods of time without reaching out to some, I may talk to some daily and some maybe weekly… But in my heart I make sure there aren’t any hanging ill feelings. I intentionally make sure of that.

I believe that, if for any reason someone is upset with me I should make atleast one effort to make things right. The hard part is the battle against pride, very very hard. I have seen my good intentions win the battle 90% of the time so I’m going to give myself a pat on the back.

The uncertainty of the where and when of the afterlife should be our driving force to do right by ourselves and others. I have chosen to continue to be intentional in my relationships and not only hope they get better. I hope we all do the same because life if great, life is meant to be enjoyed and to be enjoyed with loved ones.