Mimi's Thoughts

In Pursuit

Yesterday, while I was at work, I read a post on Writing From The Heart with Brian; 100 Things I Love. The post led me to a few other similar posts and within 30 minutes I was convinced I had to do something similar.

For a couple of weeks I have been getting a nudge to focus more on positive things. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.

By the end of the day, I got home and decided to binge on some TED talks before starting up with dinner and coincidentally… or was it?… The third TED talk by Dmitry Golubnichy titled 100 Happy Days came up and I decided… I need to focus on the positive things a little more… the things that make me happy.

Just like Golubnichy said, we tend to set targets about almost everything except the most important thing in our lives; Our Happiness.

I’m in pursuit of happiness… my sister Msugh asked; “After 40 what else does one need 😄?”

I decided.

#100happydays

#happinesschallenge

#100thingsilove

When I say Chris Brown

I’ve had a number of people literally drop a jaw or ask me “really?” whenever they hear me say a song was sung by Elevation worship and Chris Brown

Yeah, Chris Brown…but not the one you imagine.

Let me introduce you to the Chris Brown I speak of.

He is 41 years old, born on the 22nd day of December, 1981. He is married to Beth (college sweetheart) and they have two children (Joah and Adelaide).

He grew up under a pastor dad and a singer/musician mom… So you figure. He has a degree in Vocal Performance which he got from Anderson University.

Chris has been singing since he was a teen. He has been leading Elevation Worship since 2007 and has been friends with the Pastor for many years.

Although Chris isn’t my favourite worship leader, this guy really knows how to stir a heart to worship and to praise. Pastor Steven Furtick has actually admitted that he is his favourite.

He can be calm and soothing when he sings songs like Trust in God, Same God or Talking to Jesus and then he can be wild and crazy when he sings LION and Water is Wild (With Brandon Lake) or Rattle (especially with Steven Furtick).

When I say Chris Brown, this is who I speak of

Joseph Lewis Thomas

Now, Joe was a beast.

“Mummy why are you pissed?” I heard my son ask.

“I’m not pissed sweetie” I said

“But I thought I heard you say you were pissed.”

That was when I realised that I had spoken my thoughts out loud.

I thought I had kept it in my mind.

“No, I actually said ‘Joe was a beast'” … And then more questions came like a flood.

But really, Joe was a beast. The good kind. The amazing kind. The one that sends chills all over you when you hear him sing.

Joe was proud and gutsy. He was bold, confident and certain.

For confident and certain… 😂… Yeah, I laugh. It’s what I do whenever I listen to All the things (your man won’t do).

Bold with his lyrics in What If A Woman… How many people would sing that?

Proud in Love Is a Game and Somebody’s Gotta Be On Top

Gutsy in Make You My Baby

Compassionate in I Wanna Know

I’ve been listening to his last album… It’s growing on me

I loved Joe then, I still love him now.

Why I love The Queen Charlotte Story

I learned a new trick some time ago fron a movie where a girl was asked to write a paper on the story ‘The Frog Prince‘ but from the frog’s perspective.

Ever since then, I unconsciously find myself doing so about many situations; I tend to make out what the other party’s version of a story could be…

I found that I had been curious about Lady Violet Bridgerton and Queen Charlotte from the Bridgerton series . So I was really thrilled to see a diversion from everyone’s expectations…Every viewer has been waiting for the third season. This was meant to focus on Benedict Bridgerton.

The first thing I love about this spin off is how it gives me a chance to see how Charlotte and also Lady Danbury were also human. I no longer see them as insensitive match making old women. 😁

Another thing I love is having to see more of Lady Violet. Her face makes me smile. She’s so sweet and calm. She reminds me of someone; Ogonye.

Finally, I love that I had to pause and do an actual study on the lives of the real Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz and George III (George William Frederick). It gave me an opportunity to learn a bit of history. I get excited when I learn something new.

There are a few things I do not like about the story… I’ll share that some other time

Ease your mind

Everything can feel better when you talk to someone or when you write it down. It’s the reason I think diaries make the best reading materials.

I remember when Sandra lost her dad… Sandra is like a younger sister to me. The closest of many. She’s one to never show emotions. She didn’t cry, she remained strong and comforted her mum and sisters.

One weird day, she was acting up and I knew something was up. I cornered her and we got talking, real deep. Some where in this talk the dam broke. She talked a lot about how she missed her dad and how she couldn’t get to feel and experience certain things now that he was gone and how much it hurt.

At the end of it all, she expressed how she felt a lot better by merely talking about it.

Don’t always bottle up… Ease your mind every now and again… I promise you’ll feel ligher and better 🤞🏾

The Social Dilemma

My son’s teacher got married this afternoon and I had done a lot of peopling earlier from the wedding; a few of my son’s classmates and their parents were present as well. Peopling for me meant I was going to have to do quiet time before I sleep.

I had a few chores waiting at home and when I was finished with the chores, it was time for my alone time and I was looking for a movie and boom… I clicked on The Social Dilemma

The 2020 Netflix Documentary was exactly what I needed on this Saturday evening when I wasn’t too sure about what genre I wanted to view.

The information there was so scary. It was worth every minute.

The documentary relays how social media has affected and controlled us humans, using us as tools and promoting addiction with the sole aim of making profit.

According to Wikipedia, “The documentary examines how social media’s design nurtures addiction to maximize profit, and its ability to manipulate people’s views, emotions, and behavior and spread conspiracy theories and disinformation. The film also examines social media’s effect on mental health, in particular, the mental health of adolescents and rising teen suicide rates“.

One line I have been ruminating on is the one where Tristan Harris says; “You have to ask yourself, Is this normal? Or have we all fallen under some kind of spell?”

Tristan Harris is a the former Design Ethicist at Google. Harris is a tech guy with a lot of conscience and moral values and just like him, I think we are under a spell. The people behind every social media platform build it in a way to keep you glued to your screen. The longer you stay there, the more they make.

I think social media is important in a few ways but I believe I need to have a life that does not depend on social media entirely. It is totally doable.

A few quotes that stayed with me:

“If you’re not paying for the product, then you are the product” — Daniel Hövermann

” There are only two industries that call their customers “users”: illegal drugs and software.” — Edward Tufte

Want to cut back on social media a bit? First of all, you should watch this documentary and secondly, read my recommendations on Social Media Fasting

What kind of mum are you?

My childhood and long time friend made a post on Instagram about a week ago. I can’t get over the post. Why? Because I didn’t like my answer to the question.

A screenshot of her post: ⬇️

I’m a sit on the side, cheer the kids, refuse to participate in parent/children activities kind of mum at kiddies parties.

Why did I not like the answer?

Because deep down inside, i want to play and dance and have fun with the kids and participate in the parent/child games.

Then why the heck not? I honestly don’t know.

What kind of mum are you at kiddies parties?

Finding IT

I remember the first time I wrote an abstract short story on my Facebook page. A lot people hit the like button and then a good number thought it was a story about my husband and I. They even worked my second cousin into the story because they know almost everything about me.

When you live in a small town, it’s pretty hard for your Facebook to not be filled with people who actually know you.

I made a few more attempts. This time, I actually wrote about myself with a few lessons underneath it all but the comments made me realise they were reading it wrong. That’s when I decided that Facebook wasn’t my audience.

I sought refuge in a safe place where people who read actually read because they want to and not because they are friends with me. It has been an amazing feeling so far.

Today, I have strangers following blog and reading and liking my scribbles and that fills my heart with so much joy.

I think this should be the same for everything we do. I think we should always find the right place, the right time, the right moment… Don’t force it in the wrong place, time or moment.

**Feels really good to see this list… everytime**

BEING THE BIGGER PERSON

This is one topic I have always thought deeply about.

At one point or another in our lives, we all get hurt; we all get angry and want to say hurtful things back at the person who has hurt us, we all feel we are being mistreated or betrayed. Sometimes we may have heard that a dear friend is saying hurtful things about us or they may even hurt us in our faces. In our homes, children will get upset by their parents, parents will be annoyed by their children… a wife’s “big mouth” will say regrettable things to her husband and a husband will say the most offensive things in return and it goes on and on and on and on.

In these situations, it is my opinion that there always has to be the bigger person. Being the bigger person doesn’t mean the other person is bad and then you are good. Being the bigger person only means you possess certain qualities and capabilities that he/she doesn’t possess. Being the bigger person strengthens you and your qualities and then maybe, just maybe, it MIGHT help the other person realise they didn’t have to be mean or offensive and then subsequently, the may handle situations better.

In a situation where it is clear that a person wants to pick a fight with you deliberately (and in this case, I will without apologies refer to the other person as the bad person), it is very important to know that you should never talk back to that person. When you talk back to a person, you have stooped to his/her level and you will definitely regret getting into it with them.

Being the bigger person is really hard, especially if you got some pride going there, and who doesn’t? One thing that stops us from taking the position of the bigger person is because in many conflicts, everyone seems to be the wronged and not the wrong one. No one wants to be honest. Sometimes I tell myself; “it doesn’t matter if you are the wronged, just be the bigger person”. The battle goes on within me and I hope you know, most of the time I don’t listen to me. It’s a WIP and I know I will get there one day.

The major way to be a bigger person is by admitting you are wrong and then apologizing – this of course is when you are wrong; but in a situation where you are not wrong and find yourself in a heady situation, the one and major quality you need to have is self control. This isn’t easy and if I may add, exercising self control with a difficult/challenging person is exceptionally difficult.

Another thing that can help is being positive. Seeing the positive side of every situation could play a very important part. When I apply positivity in being the bigger person, it’s usually with the 90/10 principle in mind. Since the day I found out about the principle I like to keep it handy. It helps with my self control.

What is the 90/10 principle? That’s another topic altogether. I think I should write about it some other time.

…this thought (being the bigger person) has been on my mind for a long while so I don’t think I should talk about it all in one day… to be continued.

Taking a walk

The first time I heard the lyrics to the song Memory Lane by Haley Joelle, I immediately lined up all the people I had lost to death…the ones I miss so much…

After months and months of listening to the song again and again, gradually, living humans started to pop into my head when the song played.

With the living humans, I tweak the lyrics somewhat.

There are many people that come to mind, people I used to be with everyday and everytime…People who are no longer around me or available to reach very easily like they used to…

…Like today, I sent a photo from two years ago to my darling Nguvie and I immediately started to sing… 🎼🎶🎵I walk down memory lane, ’cause I love running in to you…

I realised, if I want to see them or be with them, I can just take a walk down memory lane, 🎼🎶🎵cos it’s the only place that I see them again🎵🎶🎼… whenever I want.