My friend Nguwa sent me these words in a picture, I decided to transcribe them and share them here. I searched for the author so that I could give them the credit but I wasn’t lucky.
To whoever wrote them, thank you. They are beautiful.
A big part of happiness lies in feeling genuinely excited—excited about the little things. Like making a cup of coffee and really savoring it. Like meeting a friend who feels like home. Like looking forward to the next episode of a show that makes you smile. It’s about saving for something special and finally holding it in your hands. Watching a sunset that reminds you that endings, too, can be beautiful.
It’s about traveling and discovering new sides of yourself. About falling in love, even if it’s just for a moment. Finishing a book that lingers with you long after the last page. Hearing a song that stirs up old, forgotten memories. Laughing unexpectedly, from a place deep inside.
True happiness doesn’t always come from big achievements. It lives in the quiet, ordinary moments—if only we choose to notice them.
To Nguwa, thank you for sharing these words with me and for the coffee, music, laughter and other moments we share together.
I spent many hours in the month of March, April and May on the The Resident, a medical television drama series. I fell in love with several characters including Dr. Conrad Hawkins and Dr. Mina Okafor whom I wrote about in Never Far.
Another character I fell in love with was the Dr. AJ Austin; a cardiothoracic surgeon. AJ is confident, dramatic, intelligent and very egotistic, he is also kind-hearted and caring when he wants to. He walked with a bounce that said ‘I know what I’m worth’. He talked big but he spoke with his heart. I loved AJ.
He gave me Terver vibes. Terver is my husband.
I made a collage of Dr. AJ and Terver on the 7th of May 2025 and planned to write something about it but I never did. Well, now I guess I have to pen something down.
I writing him a farewell.
Dr. AJ Austin’s character was played by Malcolm-Jamal Warner. I watched Malcolm-Jamal when I was a kid. He was Theodore Huxtable in The Cosby Show. I always imagined I was Rudy Huxtable, so I guess that makes him my make-believe big brother.
This evening, I learned from my older sister that Malcolm-Jamal passed away yesterday.
Maybe I’m just weird, but it hurt more than a strangers death should. Maybe I hoped to see more of him on the screens.
I stopped by my bakeshop on my way home from work this evening. The girls, my “son” and I got talking and somehow, we got to talking about how something really broke Blessing’s heart. As we went deeper into this thing that broke her heart, we began to talk about how funny it was that most people feel a heartbreak only has to do with the end of romantic relationship.
A Heartbreak Is More Than a Breakup.
When people hear the word heartbreak, most think of a romantic breakup. Maybe a boyfriend or girlfriend walking away, a spouse choosing someone else, or the end of a love story. That is heartbreak, yes… but it is not the whole story. Heartbreak is wider, heartbreak is deeper and it’s far more personal than we often admit
Heartbreak Is the Loss of What Could Have Been Sometimes heartbreak isn’t about someone leaving…It’s about the life you imagined but never lived…It’s the business that didn’t take off…The scholarship that didn’t come through…The child you prayed for but never held…That “yes” that turned into a “no”. These silent heartbreaks, the ones people don’t know about or even gather around for…you grieve in the privacy of your own chest and cry in quiet moments when no one’s watching.
Grief Is Heartbreak in Another Form There’s no heartbreak quite like losing someone you love. I’ve written here about grief in several posts like Grief, Grieving Never Ends, Friday the 13th, Happy birthday Asomy. It’s a topic I’ve explored deeply. Sometimes grief is not just for the dead; sometimes it’s distance, or the loss of a once-close bond. All these just break the heart. Often, time eases the pain, but it doesn’t erase it. We rarely “move on” from heartbreak, we move forward, we learn from it. I have.
Disappointment Can Break Your Heart Too Sometimes, it’s not about the people in our lives…but life itself. Life can break our hearts. When you give your best, pour your all into something but it isn’t enough… a job, a friendship, a calling. When you expect more from life, and life gives you less.
Sometimes, its us. We Break Our Own Hearts For me, the hardest heartbreak to accept is the one we cause ourselves. When we betray who we are just to belong…stay too long in a place that no longer sees us…silence our voice so we don’t make others uncomfortable. This continues and builds quietly…day after day, until one morning, you wake up and realize: I don’t even recognize myself anymore. This hurts.
Here’s the twist: as much a Heartbreak hurts, it also awakens us.
It shows you who your real friends are.
It teaches you what you truly want.
It grows compassion in you for others.
It pulls out a strength you didn’t know you had.
Its number 4 for me. I love it the most.
One thing I have learned is this; if your heart can break, it also means your heart can feel…and a heart that feels deeply is also a heart that can heal, rebuild, and love again, but wiser this time.
So if you’re in the middle of a heartbreak, stay hopeful, be encouraged. This pain is not your ending. It’s a deep turning, get ready to grow.
“Don’t leave without saying goodbye”…that’s what Rio said to Hallie at some point in Liz Tomforde’s last book of the Windy City Series; Rewind it Back.
Sometimes I feel the understanding of a thing helps. I used to think closure was overrated. Well, in my defence, I was younger and I wasn’t really in tune with my feelings back then.
Having lived a little longer, I know for certain that closure is not overrated.
Looking back in the past couple of years, I know for sure it’s the reason I can’t help but cry every time I remember my friend Faz. It’s the reason I have a tiny RotaKids T-shirt that SonTer outgrew years ago.
Faz was my friend through secondary school, we bonded some more when we found we were pregnant in the same period. She had her Ember in February and I had my SonTer in June of 2013.
We also loved the fact that our birthdays were just days apart, 26th August for her and 23rd August for me.
Her Mom ran one of the best primary schools in our town and so that’s where SonTer went. Faz became the school administrator at some point and she insisted that SonTer join the RotaKids…a youth program sponsored by Rotary international. Hence the T-shirt.
Faz and I saw each other everyday. We would keep in touch via chat when school was on holiday.
Faz passed away in December 2020. We didn’t say goodbye. It was sudden and it hurts so much. Still does.
Google sent me a ‘then and now‘ photo collage this morning. It read July 2015 on the side of the older photo and July 2025 on the current photo.
I spent about two minutes looking at it, checking the changes and then something else nudged at my mind…it’s not just the physical changes. In the eyes of the current version of me, I could see other changes; emotional, mental,spiritual, social…so many changes
10 years is a lot of time. A lot has happened for me and I’m sure everyone else too.
I was able to make a small list of these things…some good, some not so good.
Personal Growth & Identity •I have become more self-aware. I understanding myself so well. I have no doubt about what I need, my limits or my passions. •My priorities have shifted, especially around peace, purpose, and authenticity. •I am more resilient; I’ve mastered disappointment and the ability to recover from it. •I have continued to enjoy spending time alone, appreciating solitude and reflection. Education & Learning… •I’ve always been a lover of new knowledge. But I had vowed that I wouldn’t go back to school again after my B.Sc in Accounting… but as they say, ‘Never say Never’, right? Well, I went ahead to get Postgraduate Diploma in Management and enrolled in an MBA program. I didn’t stop there. I got my certification as a professional Accountant. Family Life •I went from having my 2 year old to a 12-year-old boy. This right here is a huge change that came with emotional depth, joy, and many lessons.
•I went from 4 years of marriage to 14. I watched my marriage grow and also shift in several areas I didn’t imagine. Career and Business •I went back to the office… A 9 to 5. I never saw that one coming •I also saw my bakery operate even without me being present. I didn’t actually plan for that but it worked out good. Relationships •Some friendships deepened and some faded away.Some friends went to the cold hands of death…and I miss them so much. •My definition of love and loyalty has changed. Mind & Emotions •I faced fears, anxiety, heartbreak, and uncertainty but the prize was that I found strength through them. •I deepened my life coping skills with journaling, poetry, prayer, movies, and quiet reflection. Spirituality & Purpose •My faith, beliefs, and sense of purpose grew really stronger and become more personal. •I value peace over perfection, and truth over performance.
Health •I put on a lot of weight and have struggled with the troubles of weight loss, healthy eating and healthy living.
I wouldn’t trade these years. I am thankful for them. They brought me to where I am today, to the woman I have become and still becoming, and I can say boldly…I am proud of her
How have the last 10 years been for you? Would you trade anything?
The best part of June was how I got to have SonTer at home with me on his birthday because he had a medical issue and had to be brought home that week…
Father’s day must have been good for my husband because SonTer was home and we made a big deal of it…for the first time 😁.
I hung out with my siblings on a short road trip on the last Sunday in June and I caught up will my school mates from secondary school later on the same day.
June was a bit sad for me and so I buried myself in Liz Tomforde’s Windy City series because that’s all I could really do.
Journal entry: Day 7 Date: 5th June, 2025 Theme: Speak and Step Forward
A lot shifted in my thoughts. A lot. I realized I haven’t been living life and enjoying life like I used to. I’m committing to doing one day at a time for now. I know I recently made a big life plan… But I’m committing to letting things flow naturally. I won’t force anything.
What stayed the same? I don’t think anything stayed the same because I went real deep in my soul searching. Everything changed… Even the sure love of God…I think He loved me more in these few days 😁.
1. Highest insight in the 7 days: Healing, growth and self rediscovery. I need to start living again.
2. If I were a tree, I would be a wise but naughty tree. I would have the powers to know and see deep into people’s hearts. Whenever someone comes under my shade with a good heart, I would stretch my branches and make it cool and homely. But if anyone with a bad heart comes under my shade, I would shrivel and make it uncomfortable for them. If I were a tree, I would be a very weird tree.
Journal entry: Day 6 Date: 3rd June, 2025 Theme: See the Future
I imagined myself 5 years from now, and unlike so many people, I can’t really see. It hurts…but it’s the truth. I think I have too many factors affecting my decisions.
What does life look like? I see myself, thousands…or even, millions of miles from my current location, a happy life, a cat, a good day job, peace, love and happiness with my family.
Letter to my future self: Dear Mimi, I’m leaving this for you today, to let you know that I’m totally hopeful. I hope you are doing all the things I have dreamed and planned. I’m at a weird point in my life right now…so many options and so many decisions to make. Whatever I choose today, I hope it has helped you find peace, love and all the other stuff I dreamed of. Lots of love… Mimi (@42)
Letter to my 10 year old self: Dear Mimi, I’m glad you are a happy and adventurous girl. Naughty and curious they call you. I need you to know that the curiosity and “restlessness” will turn you into an intelligent and beautiful woman. Sometimes you will question your choices, but you will be happy. I love you…. Me (@42)
The challenge is to intentionally encourage and/or help someone without the hope of repayment or praise.
So, one thing about me is that I love random acts of kindness… especially to people I don’t really know. Most of the time I love to randomly show love to strangers. I love this because I know I’m touching a life and I’m not expecting anything in return… That’s why I particularly love today’s challenge.
Who did I help? And why did it matter?.
Today I went and did a little household shopping and gave to a woman I have noticed. I’ve seen her a number of times on my way out of my house. She runs a small business and is always there with her little children. She doesn’t know me. She loved the gift and I was happy.
My one question for the entire world is; Why do we focus more on the bad things people do rather than the good things?
