Emaistace

All I want for Christmas

All over the world, Christmas is usually celebrated as a period of gift giving and receiving and a time for merry making. The 25th day of December is the generally accepted date. Christmas day is celebrated by Christians to mark the birth of Jesus Christ. Even people who do not believe in Jesus have continued to celebrate it as a cultural holiday. Children grow up, knowing that they will definitely get gifts at Christmas time.

A few days ago, my son SonTer did something that got me playing Mariah Carey’s ‘All I want for Christmas is you’. I played it so much, I started to ask myself if it had become my favourite Christmas song. My favourite Christmas song has and I think will always be ‘O Holy Night’. It gets me everytime, no matter how many renditions of the song I hear.

… Back to SonTer, he had been having a hard time falling asleep, as usual… He’s got a wandering mind too, like his mum. I had sent him to bed but about 30 minutes later he knocked on my bedroom door and asked if he could write his Christmas list. I convinced him to go back and try to fall asleep and promised him we would write the list together in the morning.

Bright and early the next day, SonTer presented his list.

Yoyo
Christmas hat
A Christmas mug
A Christmas family photo

“This is what I want for Christmas” was what he said. I looked at his list and my heart melted. I am not sure what I expected but it definitely wasn’t what he was asking for. That was when the first line of the song ( I don’t want a lot for Christmas) came to mind and I’ve been playing it since then.

When he gave the list to his dad, I could see he was as surprised as I was. We wasted no time. It’s 5 days to Christmas and we are ready. SonTer’s list has been handled appropriately and we can’t wait to give him all he wants for Christmas.

After all, he is all I want for Christmas.

I think of you (Part 1)

A couple of days ago, I got up a little earlier than I had planned to, so I decided to snooze a little. My husband was awake of course… He doesn’t sleep much, so i asked him what the time was and if he could wake me up after 15 minutes. He told me it was 6:47am. I couldn’t sleep anymore.

If ever I catch the time at 6:47, morning or evening, I think of my cousin Imoter… And so on that day, that morning, I didn’t fall asleep anymore, my mind went to my cousin and then moved on to several other connected things, just because it was 6:47am.

I’ve always marveled at how the mind works, how you can just think of a person immediately you hear, see or do a thing that your brain has linked to that person. I also marvel at how you can start thinking what you are going to have for breakfast and less than a minute later, you find out you have wandered to just about anything at all. That’s what happened that morning. I started with Imoter and my mind wandered so far I lost any desire to sleep at all. This happens a lot, I always envy people who can just fall asleep with no problem at all.

Imoter went to school at the Ahmadu Bello University Zaria at the same time with my eldest sister. The school did not permit male students visiting female students in their rooms, so whenever he or any male wanted to see a female student, they would just shout out the room number. My sister Dough was at some point in block 6, room 47. So, the number 647 had to be called out loud enough to be heard. When they came back home for the holidays, Dough told us all how everyone in her hostel always knew when it was Imoter out there and then she mimicked his slow and sad “647” and that was that.

It’s been over 20 years, and there isn’t a time when I don’t think of Imoter when I see a number 647 or I catch the time at 6:47.

I don’t see him very often, sometimes maybe once a year. I rarely call him, but I can say one thing is certain, bro. I think of you… Very often.

A good old thing

When I was 19 years old (20 years ago) I bought 2 pieces of clothing. One was a dress that can be worn by a 2 to 3 month old baby girl, the other was a unisex pinafore jumpsuit for a 6 to 10 month old baby. I bought it for myself, for when I would have my own children. I didn’t have any children till I turned 31. I have a son, he used the pinafore jumpsuit when he was old enough to. It gave me joy to see my wish come true. I still have the dress.

The interesting part of the story is how those two pieces of clothing have become something I will always think about with a smile. In less than a year after I bought them, my eldest sister had a baby girl and I loaned the dress to her. I could have given it to her completely but I didn’t have the heart to let the dress go… besides, Suur (her daughter) would definitely outgrow it and she wouldn’t have use for it anymore… And so as soon as it didn’t fit anymore, I took it back and kept it safely.

Subsequently, my other sisters had 2 children each. The girls used the dress and the boys used the pinafore jumpsuit.

Recently I had a reason to remove the pinafore jumpsuit from storage, it is currently being used by an adorable little boy… He is very much like a son to me.

The pinafore jumpsuit and it’s current owner 😁❤️

I’ve found that I love to keep some stuff to remember loved ones by. One example is a cardigan and blanket my sister Dough brought back from university in 1998. At this point I don’t know if she gave it to me or if she just left or forgot them at home when she got married but that blanket and cardigan make me feel close to her and so I kept it. I can only imagine her shock when she realises they still exist.

I love to de-clutter a lot, but there are a few items I have a hard time throwing out, for example, I kept my husband’s cummerbund from our wedding for my son, I don’t know what use it will be when he is old enough to use it… But I would like him to have it.

Overtime I have come to realise that the older I get, the more I cherish old things that come with good stories. I sure still love new stuff but the joy of having antiques, especially the ones I have had a part in creating makes me get a feeling I cant even describe.

From the Heart

Thank you Stephanie…

A few days ago, a cousin of mine dropped by the bakery to find out about my Christmas gift offers for this year. He particularly wanted to know what he could get for different amounts. He had a list of 3 groups, each group having a certain amount budgeted per head. This got me thinking. We all really love different people in different measures, sometimes without even knowing it. Most of the time, it is this measure of love that dictates the amount of money, time and energy we put into gifting to our loved ones.

I got a gift a couple of weeks ago, I was so deeply moved by this gift. It was a mug. Yes, a mug. One would wonder why a mug could mean so much to anyone. Well, first things first, any tea lover would always appreciate a mug…but that isn’t the reason why this mug melted my heart. It wasn’t even my birthday or any special event. I just got a message from Stephanie asking me if I could send someone over to pick up something for me. My first response was shame.

Stephanie is a customer, turned friend, turned sister. We have a special bond I can’t define. I can’t even put a finger on when she became special, but she simply is… special. She recently fell seriously ill. I never went over to see her, we just kept in touch on phone. That’s why my first response was shame. I asked myself why she still cared even after I had not been there for her like I should have. Anyway that’s a story for another day.

Stehnanie is a CAKE LOVER. We would sometimes quarrel about how much cake she was eating and whenever I decided to cut her off cake for a while, she would make up stories and try to convince me to sell cake to her. It was a back and forth thing, almost every week. That is why when the mug Stephanie sent to me arrived, I was deeply moved.

It read “I ❤️ You more than CAKE”

My son’s jaw dropped when I told him who sent it. “Mummy, that means she loves you very well o” was what he said… He knows just how much she loves cake too.

Today, I made some tea in my mug and decided to share this story of love and gifting. Show love to someone this Season, let it be from the heart. I will do same.

Mummy… Hug

I’m a big fan of small crowds. Very funny right? Yes, small crowds. What’s a small crowd by my standards? I come from a family of 7, mum, dad and 4 siblings. However, it was never just 7 of us living together. We always had extended family and sometimes friends and even paid help living in the same house with us. I can confidently say we were never less than 15 people under the roof of our small 3 bedroom flat. It never felt crowded at all. Never. We enjoyed different activities together, we ate together, we worked together. My mom was big on neatness and cleanliness so the ‘work together’ part was very important. Gradually everyone grew up and we’ve all gone our separate ways but we are still closely knit together. My siblings and I keep in touch and talk almost everyday, and it’s the same for the others… Terhemen, Moses, Esther, Angor, Terhemba, Saalu, Imoter, Shimayam and so many more. Every now and again I find myself craving small gatherings like the environment I grew up in. I find joy in small friendly crowds of 10 or so.

In this big love we shared and still share,We didn’t hug. No, we didn’t. My family wasn’t (and still isn’t) a hugging family. This didn’t mean we didn’t love each other, I guess we just expressed our love in other ways, hugging wasn’t just one of the ways. We were more into loud hailings and high fives… Yeah. I never gave it a thought or see anything wrong with it till I grew up and started mixing up with other humans. I’ve learned that people have different ways of expressing love and affection. I also think it’s a learned behaviour. You are either born that way or you learn it from people around you.

My 8 year old is a complete hugger. He can just walk up to me and hug or when I’m busy and can’t see him coming for a hug, he just alerts me by saying “mummy, hug”. I think he has made me more open to others. Lately I’ve found myself hugging family and friends before thinking about it…that’s new. I think I like it. I feel less rigid.

And or with?

I love tea. Especially black tea. I love to take it with some lemon and honey. Over the past couple of months I’ve begun to drag my husband Terver into my morning tea routine. He’s not a tea person. Last week I placed his breakfast on the table and he noticed the tea was different. He asked why it was whitish, I told him it was Lipton with milk and a little suger… I love that combination. “Sugar?” he asked. “Why didn’t you use honey?” I explained how I thought honey didnt go well with milk in black tea.

I actually have never tried black tea with mlik and honey. So I honestly don’t know if it doesn’t go well together. For me, it’s just one of those things that you feel do not go together. Just the other day Terver came over to my bake shop and he had with him some corn, coconut and mzembe (local pear). He offered and I declined. I told him I didnt think it would go well together. He persisted and I tried. The corn and pear is a very common combination but I had never tried it. I was right. I didn’t like it. The coconut and pear however was awesome. Different strokes for different folks I guess. I have heard people say a little honey in warm milk has calming effects, helps with insomnia and so on. I just don’t know if I can combine them. I have never been so much of a milk person and I also learned to like honey so I think i see where the problem could be coming from.

Anyway, his response to my opinion on Lipton with milk and honey was quite funny. He said “Babe, even the Bible talks about milk and honey together and you think milk won’t go well with honey?”. Guess what my argument was, “The Bible said ‘milk and honey’ , it didn’t say ‘milk with honey'”. It’s been days now, but I really can’t get it off my mind, were the people drinking milk and honey or were they taking milk with honey?… I guess I will never know.

One heart, two feelings

The Euro 2020 tournament couldn’t hold in 2020 due to the COVID pandemic. It was rescheduled to hold in 2021 and it did. This is a soccer tournament organised by UEFA (Union of European Football Associations), it is referred to as UEFA European Championship. I was very preoccupied during the group stages so I didn’t catch the matches, but I wasnt going to miss anyone from the quarter finals.

Right from the very moment England qualified for the the semi finals, I was super excited and couldn’t wait to watch the game. I love the English team and I have always been a fan. They were scheduled to meet Denmark. Denmark, that’s where the problem was. At the beginning of the tournament, Denmark’s midfielder Christian Erikson slumped and was confirmed to have had a cardiac arrest. This affected his team mates emotionally and it affected their performance. My husband narrated how they miraculously made it from the group stage to the round of 16. It was a good story, a kind of story that would be told really well if they were to win the championship.

So here comes the day and I’m torn between the team that I love and the team that I’m feeling emotional about. My son didn’t understand my situation so I took my time and explained it to him. He smiled at me and said “sorry” and then he drew me a picture. He’s at a stage in his life right now where he draws everything.

This is me, as illustrated by my 8 year old son, SonTer

At the end of the day, at the end of the game, England won. There’s always a story for everyone. England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 qualified for their first ever major final in 55 years.

What cheers you up?

I may be having the worst day but when I eat a well cooked plate of beans, I feel better. For some people it’s ice cream, for others it’s alcohol, for some, chocolate etc. Everyone has that thing that does it for them.

In October 2017 I found myself in a very frustrating situation. I had just started a low carb diet and I realised beans had lots of carbohydrates. Growing up we were told to eat beans for protein. Yes. Beans has more protein than rice does and then it goes ahead to load up on carbohydrates too. No, I kid you not. For every 100g of beans you consume, you would be consuming 63g of carbohydrates and 21g protein.

I really love beans. I remember a long time ago, maybe 20 years ago or so. My cousin came back home from school. He had travelled over 500 kilometres. He arrived very late at night. There were no mobile phones then so he couldn’t tell us he would be arriving and so we didn’t make any meal ready for him. He was someone I could do anything for, I loved him very much and we were very close… I still do even though we aren’t so close anymore. When I realised by morning time that he had helped himself to my pot of beans, I cried, literally. I always had beans cooked and stored. He didn’t understand why I was reacting that way. He didn’t even believe i was upset. He only laughed. Yes, Imoter will laugh at you in your most serious moments and he’d get away with it, he’s adorable.

Back to the present, I’m 38 years old, I’m watching my weight and I need to be careful how many carbs I take in because my body has a love hate relationship with carbohydrates. Suddenly I find my self on a mission to find something besides beans that gives me joy. Something that isn’t bad for my body so that I can alternate with my beloved beans. I wonder what that is. Although I must confess, beans is the only high carb meal I cheat with and I don’t feel guilty.

I wish myself luck on my mission to find a replacement joy giver. For now, it’s still beans.

The character Michael Scott

For many years I kept putting off the plan to run the series ‘the office’ until early this year 2021, I decided it was time. I paused the 10th episode of the 6th season to write this. I’ve asked myself one question over 20 times, “Is Michael Scott a human being?” I know he is a fictitious character but I can’t help but wonder, do we have Michael Scotts in real life? Nothing he does is normal. As a leader and a manager, you would expect him to be more coordinated and hardworking but no, he hates work more than anyone I’ve ever seen. This makes me wonder how he got to the managerial position in the first place.

Michael Scott is however very caring and very emotional. His feelings are easily hurt but he forgives easily and doesn’t hold grudges. The only person who isn’t lucky enough to enjoy the care is his HR representative, Toby. Michael believes Toby is anti fun. When I first started watching, I often felt sorry for Toby, I think a wild animal comes alive in Michael when he sees Toby. For Michael every minute must be fun. He could waste an entire day playing games, having office parties or simply acting foolish and he would see nothing wrong with it. For him, work can wait but fun can’t.

A typical day

No one listens to Michael. Sometimes wonder if he has any self respect. The entire staff has no respect for him and it seems as though he doesn’t care. There have been a few times when he did oppose some rudeness, just a few times. I’ve watched him do and say lots of stupid things. Are there people that could be like Michael Scott? It’s very possible. Would I be able to be around such a person? I laugh at Michael and he amazes and entertains me, but if I had to deal with him in real life… would I handle it well? I wonder.

Sunday vibes

My son and I have a routine. Every Sunday, after church we go to Katsina-Ala Street to buy stuff we may need for the week from Ifeanyi. We started this a few years ago and it became a normal thing. Even on some Sundays when we skip service for one reason or the other, we would always drive out later to Ifeanyi’s shop on Katsina-Ala Street to do the usual.

Most people usually stock up on snacks for their kids for months but my son isn’t a one brand guy. He may want caprisone this week and next week it will be Fanta, the next week it could be sprite. That’s where the weekly stocking up came from. I’ve grown to enjoy the Sunday trips, SonTer has too. However, today I went alone and I went very early. SonTer decided to stay home with his daddy because it’s Father’s day and also because I wasn’t going back home after the restocking trip. My mother in-law needed to prepare some food for some guests so I was going to stop over for a few hours and give her a helping hand.

Like I said, I went to Katsina-Ala Street too early. Ifeanyi’s shop was locked but his neighbour across the road was open. His neighbour is someone I used to shop with, a long time ago… I stopped shopping there because Ifeanyi attends to me from my vehicle but with the guy across, I would have to go into the shop. This was not convenient for me from the moment I had a baby. The stress of removing the baby from the car seat and putting him back was one I wasn’t ready to deal with all the time. Today, that baby is a big boy, he turned 8 yesterday, but I’m used to Ifeanyi’s services, but Ifeanyi wasn’t here yet. So I got out of the car and walked across the road to his neighbour’s shop.

Ifeanyi’s neighbour is a fat short dude in his 50’s. He’s friendly and likes to chat a lot. Today he asked about my son, he asked how old he was and I told him he had just turned 8 years old the previous day. He marveled at how time flies and asked why I hadn’t had another child. I told him it was because I had not been given one by God. He told me to believe and that God would give. I smiled and thanked him. I bought all I had gone there to buy and just as I was leaving he said “make you try reduce your size too, maybe pikin go come”. On that note I said goodbye. I don’t think I will be shopping with Ifeanyi’s neighbour anymore. I don’t take comments on my weight lightly. Especially when I have just made remarkable progress in weight loss.

As I walked to my car. I saw Ifeanyi opening his shop. I noted the time. Now I know when he opens on Sundays.