BEING THE BIGGER PERSON

This is one topic I have always thought deeply about.

At one point or another in our lives, we all get hurt; we all get angry and want to say hurtful things back at the person who has hurt us, we all feel we are being mistreated or betrayed. Sometimes we may have heard that a dear friend is saying hurtful things about us or they may even hurt us in our faces. In our homes, children will get upset by their parents, parents will be annoyed by their children… a wife’s “big mouth” will say regrettable things to her husband and a husband will say the most offensive things in return and it goes on and on and on and on.

In these situations, it is my opinion that there always has to be the bigger person. Being the bigger person doesn’t mean the other person is bad and then you are good. Being the bigger person only means you possess certain qualities and capabilities that he/she doesn’t possess. Being the bigger person strengthens you and your qualities and then maybe, just maybe, it MIGHT help the other person realise they didn’t have to be mean or offensive and then subsequently, the may handle situations better.

In a situation where it is clear that a person wants to pick a fight with you deliberately (and in this case, I will without apologies refer to the other person as the bad person), it is very important to know that you should never talk back to that person. When you talk back to a person, you have stooped to his/her level and you will definitely regret getting into it with them.

Being the bigger person is really hard, especially if you got some pride going there, and who doesn’t? One thing that stops us from taking the position of the bigger person is because in many conflicts, everyone seems to be the wronged and not the wrong one. No one wants to be honest. Sometimes I tell myself; “it doesn’t matter if you are the wronged, just be the bigger person”. The battle goes on within me and I hope you know, most of the time I don’t listen to me. It’s a WIP and I know I will get there one day.

The major way to be a bigger person is by admitting you are wrong and then apologizing – this of course is when you are wrong; but in a situation where you are not wrong and find yourself in a heady situation, the one and major quality you need to have is self control. This isn’t easy and if I may add, exercising self control with a difficult/challenging person is exceptionally difficult.

Another thing that can help is being positive. Seeing the positive side of every situation could play a very important part. When I apply positivity in being the bigger person, it’s usually with the 90/10 principle in mind. Since the day I found out about the principle I like to keep it handy. It helps with my self control.

What is the 90/10 principle? That’s another topic altogether. I think I should write about it some other time.

…this thought (being the bigger person) has been on my mind for a long while so I don’t think I should talk about it all in one day… to be continued.