A couple of days ago, I was privileged to sit with some very awesome women and as we discussed, I was made to see a few things. These were not new things, it turns out that I already knew them, but I had never taken the time to appreciate them. As humans who often always feel entitled, it is very common to see an unusual thing as normal and probably even take it for granted.
In a couple of months, it would be exactly seven years since I dropped my son off at school, a school where I was given enough items myself as a new parent/mom. I was handed a bag with a few crested items in it; a Pink Tee shirt, a black baseball cap, a book; which I discovered to be a constitution, a lapel pin and a few other items. To cut this very long story short, I realised i had automatically become a member of a forum referred to as ‘Caring Mothers’.
The forum is probably one good thing i have always taken as normal and never really taken the time to appreciate. The forum holds meetings at least once every school term but because of the little percentage of asocial in me, it took me a little time warming up. I have spent the years meeting many women and some of us have become good friends because of our children. I know a few of us may have rubbed one another off the wrong way a couple of times but this has never affected the general gathering of these wonderful women.
Some Highlights of the Forum
Motivational, health and other talks: During meetings and some other events, a few moms get to share tips and ideas on the ‘how to’ of certain areas in life. Being a mom is not the easiest job in the world and can often get very stressful. These talks often help moms find a balance in their mental, financial, physical and social lives.
Christmas Party: One major highlight for me and I know a few other moms too is the yearly Christmas party. I remember gasping in shock when I saw a few moms dancing and having fun at my first Caring Mothers Christmas party. This party has a way of making you forget it all and have a really good time. It is such a great place to relax and unwind.
Inter House Sports Competition: Whenever the children have their Inter House Sports Competition, moms get to display their skills in some competitive activities. This event comes up once a year and it is always lovely and fun filled. The highlight of this event for me is always the March Past Parade; I have always been a sucker for Marching.
A few unofficial activities like the ability to sell our products to each other and also display them just outside the school compound has been a highlight for me and some moms, I have done some really good purchases there. One major unofficial activity in this forum is the show of love between these moms, I have seen a number of times where a mom or two have assisted each other in tough and difficult times of lack, loss and even in joyful celebrations like births and birthday celebrations.
As a person who loves to see the good in everything first, I think it is safe to say that I love The Caring Mothers Forum of Towering Tots School and I have never seen anything like it or better.
The ability to save money can be a tiring and frustrating thing for most people. There are many reasons that may be responsible for this. Some of these reasons could be the inability of a person to control their spending habits or it could just be a lack of available funds to save. Over the past couple of years, economies have become tighter and wages do not have as much value as they used to.
To be able to save at least NGN500,000 in a year, you will need to first and foremost, develop self-discipline and decide why you want to save. You will need to eliminate certain expenses in your day to day life and then most importantly, you must create a pattern of saving; this will require you to choose an amount to be saved along with a frequency with which this amount will be saved.
Let us look at some important ways that can help you to achieve your 500,000 a year saving goal:
Take a decision on what you want to do with the saved amount.
Identify and weigh your heaviest expenses.
Prune your spending.
Review subscriptions.
Make use of automated savings applications.
Save the money in a place or account that you will not touch.
Find a method that works for you
Starting a new habit takes quite some time and a lot of effort. It may be even more difficult when it comes to money matters. Every day we wake up, there is one need or another for money. Some of them are so needy that they never seem to go away. Like house rent for instance, just when you are about to relax after paying a year’s rent, you find out it is time to start putting the next one together again. Then, besides the heavy needs for money, we have the small ones that show up like phone services, groceries, gas and so much more. So it is quite apparent that without discipline, it is almost impossible to save.
Let us look at a few ways to achieve the 500,000 a year goal more closely, one after another.
Take a decision on what you want to do with the saved amount
Purpose is a really good motivator. It is very easy to do something when you know exactly what the prize is going to be. In this case, I recommend choosing what you desire to use the 500,000 for at the end of the period. For instance, you could decide to give your home a facelift, take a small trip, make some investments or even start that small business you have been dreaming of starting for a long while. Whatever the case may be, just be sure to put that goal in mind, this serves as a motivator for the moments when it may seem difficult to continue with your goal.
Identify and weigh your heaviest expenses
We all have that heavy money drainer in our lives and it varies from person to person. For some people it could be shoes, bags and clothes, while for others it may be their kind of social life or gadgets. Whatever the drainer is, it definitely affects your ability to save as you would want to. To be able to save 500,000 a year, you must identify that heavy expense and weigh its importance and its effect on your savings. For example, you can weigh and decide if it is necessary to spend money on an extra pair of shoes or save that amount and in turn, increase your savings. Discipline has a very important role here too. You need to ask yourself how badly you want to save 500,000 a year.
Prune your spending
Spending money is something you can hardly avoid. Every day, we find that there is always something to buy or a bill to pay. Some expenses are necessary while some are completely unnecessary. If you want to cultivate a saving habit, it is important for you to realize that you will have to change your spending habit and pattern. You will have to learn to pick more economical options for your daily needs. If you do not like to skip your meals, you can make sure to have breakfast at home and then also pack a lunch. It surely beats the cost of buying your meals from food vendors. That is just one example out of so many. Also, making a shopping list can help you spend less at the supermarket or stores.
Review subscriptions
We live in an era where most of life’s activities are carried out via the help of subscriptions. These subscriptions include cable, Netflix, music (spotify, Pandora, Amazon music etc.), gaming (PlayStation, Xbox etc.), gym memberships, Apple subscriptions, the list is endless. You will be able to save 500,000 if you review your subscriptions and find only one of the necessary subscriptions per category. For example, for music, if you are subscribed to both apple and spotify, it would be wise for you to choose the best offer that satisfies your specific needs for the fairest charge.
Make use of automated savings applications
With the coming of automated systems, it is definitely easy to avoid testing our discipline and to just set up a system where the amount to be saved can be taken from source automatically. For example, if you want to save daily and still achieve the 500,000 a year goal, it will require that you save at least NGN1,370 daily. So you can set up a system where NGN1,370 can be deducted from your account daily. Applications such as PiggyVest, Cowrywise and Carbon offer such services.
Save the money in a place or account that you will not touch
When you save with a target and a goal, it is always better to keep these savings in a place or account where you will not go to or touch easily. You would never get your goal if you make a habit of taking out of your savings. Banks have locked savings accounts that provide these options. Another option is the local physical piggy bank.
Find a method that works for you
In order to save 500,000 a year, you need to put into consideration how your income comes. If you usually get paid daily, it would be wise to save daily. If your income comes weekly then it will be wise to put away the savings on a weekly basis and so on. Take a look at the different ways to save based on income:
Daily – NGN1,370
Weekly – NGN9,615
Monthly – NGN41,670
Quarterly – NGN125,000
Conclusion
The rest is up to you. When you put all the ways and methods into practice and you pick a suitable method, saving 500,000 can be an easy feat. It just takes mainly self-discipline and determination. The key is to focus on the end goal and the bigger picture.
Ask yourself; is your desire to save stronger than the sacrifices you are willing to make?
Frequently Asked Questions
How much do I need to earn to save 500,000 a year?
Usually, saving happens after basic needs have been met. If you want to save daily or weekly or monthly, you will need to pick the required saving amount for that frequency and try to work your needs, bills and expenses to exclude that amount. So basically, if you want to save 500,000 a year, you have to have at least an average daily income of NGN5,000 to NGN6,000. If you have an income less than this, it will be advisable to set a much lower goal for your savings.
2. What happens when I forget to save for some time
You will require extra effort. It will be wise to try to catch up with the initial savings plan. You can achieve this by sourcing other means of income and making more stringent decisions.
I’ve probably always been in a clique without knowing it. Way back in my secondary school days, I got punished one day, along with some of my close friends. We were being punished for taking our food out of the dinning area. It was totally prohibited, but we had a few spices and garnishes and so we had wanted to enjoy the meal in the comfort of our space. While we received a week long punishment, the words we kept hearing were “your clique”. We were 7 friends, unconsciously, we preferred to do stuff together and over time, I guess it seemed like a preplanned group.
In my university days, something similar happened, by the time I had been rounding up, I realised I had kept company with a select close group the entirety of my stay. 5 years.
Some years ago, I found myself in an unconsciously formed clique again…but this is where it got different. At the precise moment when we found out we were knit, we began to make it intentional. I would like to admit that those few years we maintained an intentional group friendship were some of the best years of my adult life. We were all strange “girls”. Each of us needing to be alone sometimes…and so we always knew when to give each other space. We all respected each other’s time and privacy yet, we were in all our businesses, we looked out for each other. We made plans and we made time to carry out those plans. One that remains undone is our road trip. We never got to do certain stuff, with all 5 of us in our 30’s with families, businesses and/or jobs to attend to, it was a tough one, trying to synchronize our lives for some activities.
Looking back at all the group friendships I’ve had, I have come to realise that I feel crowded by one on one friendships. I have some of them and I love them, but I think i carry traits of a wolf. I do better in a pack. The average wolf pack size is 6…that’s just right for me.
I belong to a closed motivational group of eight members; today, being the first day of the year, I asked if we had any goals I could key into. One of us said she planned to get pregnant, one said she planned to make more money and lose weight and another said she wanted to rest this year. Her exact words were; “I have stressed myself so much in the last 3 years, I just want to rest now”. I know a number of people who may say that isn’t productive. They could come up with reasons why rest can slow you down. I can take a wild guess and say that even she who plans to rest this year may have thought it a bad idea a couple of years ago. At that time, she may have need the stress to get her going, today she needs to rest to get her going. Life changes and we need to take decisions as it does.
Take some time to rest
Rest is when you cease to work or move in order to relax or sleep or recover your strength. So I believe the period of time needed for rest depends on how long it takes for you to recover your strength. Physical strength takes a shorter time to muster but when it comes to mental health, I believe one can and should take as long as they need.
Only this evening I was telling my husband how yesterday I was too tired to continue a daily online fitness class I had enrolled in online. After I had spent almost one hour talking myself into logging in, I finally did. I clicked on ‘Day 5’ and the words “REST DAY, Your body and muscles need to get some rest” popped on the screen. My jaw dropped in shock. Apparently, they have studied the program and they know that the average human would need to rest by day 5. I rested. Today, day 6, I faced it without any tiredness or reluctance.
It’s the first day of January in the year 2022. If you worked (physical or mental) hard in the previous year(s) and feel tired and you feel the need to take a rest, please do. The rest may be productive.
I plan to do a follow up on this about the importance of rest but in the meantime I will conclude with the words of Alan Cohen “there is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and over look neither”.
Let your every day bloom and be bright like a daisy
Life is great. Even at the end of a bad day, we look forward to the next day because we know and hope deep down that the next day will be better. Everyone likes to quote “when there is life, there is hope” and it remains a fact. I feel that life can be better, if in addition to hoping that the next day be better, we add intentionality into making it better. In many situations this may not be easy but it is worth a try.
I’ll like to focus on intentionality in relationships. Relationships with our mothers, fathers, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, cousins and nibblings, mothers and fathers inlaw, sisters and brothers inlaw, friends, colleagues etc. One thing that helps us enjoy life and have great days for sure is the people around us and people who love us and also the people we love. No one is an island. That’s another fact… That is why I believe that one major thing we need to be intentional about is our relationships.
I’m not a clingy adult. Growing up in a large extended family and being the youngest, I used to be a clingy child, squeezing into people to sit and holding on to my older ones. I don’t know what happened along the way, I can only now describe myself as a “friendly” loner. I dare say, I grew up to realise that I was the last born at home only and not last born of the world. As an adult I have found myself building friendships and relationships but I never get clingy. I think I’m okay with that. However, I try to make sure that I maintain peace and love within these friendships and relationships. I may go long periods of time without reaching out to some, I may talk to some daily and some maybe weekly… But in my heart I make sure there aren’t any hanging ill feelings. I intentionally make sure of that.
I believe that, if for any reason someone is upset with me I should make atleast one effort to make things right. The hard part is the battle against pride, very very hard. I have seen my good intentions win the battle 90% of the time so I’m going to give myself a pat on the back.
The uncertainty of the where and when of the afterlife should be our driving force to do right by ourselves and others. I have chosen to continue to be intentional in my relationships and not only hope they get better. I hope we all do the same because life if great, life is meant to be enjoyed and to be enjoyed with loved ones.
When I was 19 years old (20 years ago) I bought 2 pieces of clothing. One was a dress that can be worn by a 2 to 3 month old baby girl, the other was a unisex pinafore jumpsuit for a 6 to 10 month old baby. I bought it for myself, for when I would have my own children. I didn’t have any children till I turned 31. I have a son, he used the pinafore jumpsuit when he was old enough to. It gave me joy to see my wish come true. I still have the dress.
The interesting part of the story is how those two pieces of clothing have become something I will always think about with a smile. In less than a year after I bought them, my eldest sister had a baby girl and I loaned the dress to her. I could have given it to her completely but I didn’t have the heart to let the dress go… besides, Suur (her daughter) would definitely outgrow it and she wouldn’t have use for it anymore… And so as soon as it didn’t fit anymore, I took it back and kept it safely.
Subsequently, my other sisters had 2 children each. The girls used the dress and the boys used the pinafore jumpsuit.
Recently I had a reason to remove the pinafore jumpsuit from storage, it is currently being used by an adorable little boy… He is very much like a son to me.
The pinafore jumpsuit and it’s current owner 😁❤️
I’ve found that I love to keep some stuff to remember loved ones by. One example is a cardigan and blanket my sister Dough brought back from university in 1998. At this point I don’t know if she gave it to me or if she just left or forgot them at home when she got married but that blanket and cardigan make me feel close to her and so I kept it. I can only imagine her shock when she realises they still exist.
I love to de-clutter a lot, but there are a few items I have a hard time throwing out, for example, I kept my husband’s cummerbund from our wedding for my son, I don’t know what use it will be when he is old enough to use it… But I would like him to have it.
Overtime I have come to realise that the older I get, the more I cherish old things that come with good stories. I sure still love new stuff but the joy of having antiques, especially the ones I have had a part in creating makes me get a feeling I cant even describe.
A few days ago, a cousin of mine dropped by the bakery to find out about my Christmas gift offers for this year. He particularly wanted to know what he could get for different amounts. He had a list of 3 groups, each group having a certain amount budgeted per head. This got me thinking. We all really love different people in different measures, sometimes without even knowing it. Most of the time, it is this measure of love that dictates the amount of money, time and energy we put into gifting to our loved ones.
I got a gift a couple of weeks ago, I was so deeply moved by this gift. It was a mug. Yes, a mug. One would wonder why a mug could mean so much to anyone. Well, first things first, any tea lover would always appreciate a mug…but that isn’t the reason why this mug melted my heart. It wasn’t even my birthday or any special event. I just got a message from Stephanie asking me if I could send someone over to pick up something for me. My first response was shame.
Stephanie is a customer, turned friend, turned sister. We have a special bond I can’t define. I can’t even put a finger on when she became special, but she simply is… special. She recently fell seriously ill. I never went over to see her, we just kept in touch on phone. That’s why my first response was shame. I asked myself why she still cared even after I had not been there for her like I should have. Anyway that’s a story for another day.
Stehnanie is a CAKE LOVER. We would sometimes quarrel about how much cake she was eating and whenever I decided to cut her off cake for a while, she would make up stories and try to convince me to sell cake to her. It was a back and forth thing, almost every week. That is why when the mug Stephanie sent to me arrived, I was deeply moved.
It read “I ❤️ You more than CAKE”
My son’s jaw dropped when I told him who sent it. “Mummy, that means she loves you very well o” was what he said… He knows just how much she loves cake too.
Today, I made some tea in my mug and decided to share this story of love and gifting. Show love to someone this Season, let it be from the heart. I will do same.
I may be having the worst day but when I eat a well cooked plate of beans, I feel better. For some people it’s ice cream, for others it’s alcohol, for some, chocolate etc. Everyone has that thing that does it for them.
In October 2017 I found myself in a very frustrating situation. I had just started a low carb diet and I realised beans had lots of carbohydrates. Growing up we were told to eat beans for protein. Yes. Beans has more protein than rice does and then it goes ahead to load up on carbohydrates too. No, I kid you not. For every 100g of beans you consume, you would be consuming 63g of carbohydrates and 21g protein.
I really love beans. I remember a long time ago, maybe 20 years ago or so. My cousin came back home from school. He had travelled over 500 kilometres. He arrived very late at night. There were no mobile phones then so he couldn’t tell us he would be arriving and so we didn’t make any meal ready for him. He was someone I could do anything for, I loved him very much and we were very close… I still do even though we aren’t so close anymore. When I realised by morning time that he had helped himself to my pot of beans, I cried, literally. I always had beans cooked and stored. He didn’t understand why I was reacting that way. He didn’t even believe i was upset. He only laughed. Yes, Imoter will laugh at you in your most serious moments and he’d get away with it, he’s adorable.
Back to the present, I’m 38 years old, I’m watching my weight and I need to be careful how many carbs I take in because my body has a love hate relationship with carbohydrates. Suddenly I find my self on a mission to find something besides beans that gives me joy. Something that isn’t bad for my body so that I can alternate with my beloved beans. I wonder what that is. Although I must confess, beans is the only high carb meal I cheat with and I don’t feel guilty.
I wish myself luck on my mission to find a replacement joy giver. For now, it’s still beans.
For many years I kept putting off the plan to run the series ‘the office’ until early this year 2021, I decided it was time. I paused the 10th episode of the 6th season to write this. I’ve asked myself one question over 20 times, “Is Michael Scott a human being?” I know he is a fictitious character but I can’t help but wonder, do we have Michael Scotts in real life? Nothing he does is normal. As a leader and a manager, you would expect him to be more coordinated and hardworking but no, he hates work more than anyone I’ve ever seen. This makes me wonder how he got to the managerial position in the first place.
Gotcha
Michael Scott is however very caring and very emotional. His feelings are easily hurt but he forgives easily and doesn’t hold grudges. The only person who isn’t lucky enough to enjoy the care is his HR representative, Toby. Michael believes Toby is anti fun. When I first started watching, I often felt sorry for Toby, I think a wild animal comes alive in Michael when he sees Toby. For Michael every minute must be fun. He could waste an entire day playing games, having office parties or simply acting foolish and he would see nothing wrong with it. For him, work can wait but fun can’t.
A typical day
No one listens to Michael. Sometimes wonder if he has any self respect. The entire staff has no respect for him and it seems as though he doesn’t care. There have been a few times when he did oppose some rudeness, just a few times. I’ve watched him do and say lots of stupid things. Are there people that could be like Michael Scott? It’s very possible. Would I be able to be around such a person? I laugh at Michael and he amazes and entertains me, but if I had to deal with him in real life… would I handle it well? I wonder.
In 2011 my husband and I moved into our apartment 8 days after our wedding. We had finally found a house we liked after days of searching and checking out several houses. About a month later, an adorable couple moved into the apartment directly opposite ours. I liked them immediately, i still do…even though they are over 6,000km away now. I maintained a very good neighbourly relationship with the lady up until 2013 when they moved away. Her younger sister moved into the apartment. We did not hit it off like her sister and I did.
I haven’t the faintest clue how it started, but her sister and I gradually began to grow on each other. we found out we had a lot in common and one of those things was fun time. It was funny how she was an out-doorsy person and I was more of an indoor person but we always found a balance some how. I still don’t know how it happened but we actually grew on each other. I knew she was there and I think she knew i was there for her too. we would go on some times for days without seeing each other but that didn’t matter. I got to find out she was very creative. she was inventive. She was never scared to start something new or try something new.
One fine birthday 😁Never a dull moment
I remember one afternoon we sat at my bakeshop and she asked me to bring home one of my table cakes when I was done for the day. She usually bought them for snacking or to go along with tea at breakfast. On that particular day, she asked me to throw in all flavours. I wish I could describe the way she said it 😂. And so as I baked different flavours for different clients that day, I scooped some into a pan for her and the end of the day I took home a cake with different kinds off cake in it. it became a normal thing. Whenever she needed it, she would tell me a day before or in the morning and then as usual, all flavours would go one scoop or two into a pan for her. It was possible to have lemon cake, red velvet cake, chocolate cake, fruitcake and coconut cake in one pan and she loved it… she created it 😁.
I write this in past tense because she left. she’s over 6,000 km away too. I miss her so much. i remember when she told me she was leaving. she expected me to cry…even I expected me to cry, but I didn’t, but what no one knows is I was so hurt, I was almost upset. it wasn’t until one day, weeks later, after she had left… I came home, looked at her apartment and I went into my room and cried a river. I actually felt a bit better after I did. I miss her a lot.
Zoe…
What amazes me today as I remember this multiple flavoured cake combo is how I never thought to make it available for sale to others. I recently made it for someone and he came back twice.
It is on this note that I brand it ‘Zoe’and will make it a special at my bake shop.
