Zoe

In 2011 my husband and I moved into our apartment 8 days after our wedding. We had finally found a house we liked after days of searching and checking out several houses. About a month later, an adorable couple moved into the apartment directly opposite ours. I liked them immediately, i still do…even though they are over 6,000km away now. I maintained a very good neighbourly relationship with the lady up until 2013 when they moved away. Her younger sister moved into the apartment. We did not hit it off like her sister and I did.

I haven’t the faintest clue how it started, but her sister and I gradually began to grow on each other. we found out we had a lot in common and one of those things was fun time. It was funny how she was an out-doorsy person and I was more of an indoor person but we always found a balance some how. I still don’t know how it happened but we actually grew on each other. I knew she was there and I think she knew i was there for her too. we would go on some times for days without seeing each other but that didn’t matter. I got to find out she was very creative. she was inventive. She was never scared to start something new or try something new.

One fine birthday 😁
Never a dull moment

I remember one afternoon we sat at my bakeshop and she asked me to bring home one of my table cakes when I was done for the day. She usually bought them for snacking or to go along with tea at breakfast. On that particular day, she asked me to throw in all flavours. I wish I could describe the way she said it πŸ˜‚. And so as I baked different flavours for different clients that day, I scooped some into a pan for her and the end of the day I took home a cake with different kinds off cake in it. it became a normal thing. Whenever she needed it, she would tell me a day before or in the morning and then as usual, all flavours would go one scoop or two into a pan for her. It was possible to have lemon cake, red velvet cake, chocolate cake, fruitcake and coconut cake in one pan and she loved it… she created it 😁.

I write this in past tense because she left. she’s over 6,000 km away too. I miss her so much. i remember when she told me she was leaving. she expected me to cry…even I expected me to cry, but I didn’t, but what no one knows is I was so hurt, I was almost upset. it wasn’t until one day, weeks later, after she had left… I came home, looked at her apartment and I went into my room and cried a river. I actually felt a bit better after I did. I miss her a lot.

Zoe…

What amazes me today as I remember this multiple flavoured cake combo is how I never thought to make it available for sale to others. I recently made it for someone and he came back twice.

It is on this note that I brand it ‘Zoe’and will make it a special at my bake shop.

I think i love my small town

After my mandatory service in the NYSC in 2008, I got a call from my older sister’s friend (turned out to be my sister in-law 3 years later), informing me of a job opening at her place of employment in Lagos. They needed an accountant and they needed him/her immediately. I was told there was going to be an interview in less than a week. I was excited about this news because there was something else drawing me to Lagos…story for another day.

Long story short, I left Makurdi two days later, I got to Lagos safely, I got the job and I started immediately. I lived and worked in lagos from mid 2008 till early 2010. I didn’t like it all of the time but I guess the city life grew on me. It didn’t matter if it was raining or if it wasn’t, people woke up extra early and hit the streets till very very late when everyone headed back into their houses. The word I would like to use to describe Lagos is “movement”. Every moment was an action moment.

To be honest, If I didn’t have a driving force taking me to Lagos I may never have considered the job offer. I’m more of a small town girl. I could totally live in a city but I wouldn’t enjoy it.

So for the very same reason I jumped at the job in lagos, I returned to my small town, Makurdi. I think I may have gotten a bit used to the life in the city because I think i totally forgot one major trait of small towns… they sleep.

Small towns sleep, they do what they want, when they want. I was made to remember this one morning in 2010, shortly after I had returned from Lagos, I had ran out of the house at 7:30am on one rainy morning to grab an audio and video (AV ) cable from the electronic shop. It took me 5 minutes to get there (one of the advantages of a small town). When I met ALL the shops on the street locked I became a bit confused. I thought, maybe they were waiting for 8am. It wasn’t till about 8:30 when some shop owners started to show up. I finally bought my cord at 8:45. I was really shocked. How did I even forget that this was normal here? After all I had spent only two years away.

Plaza across the street on a Monday morning

Fast forward to today, 11 years later, I still live in my small town. It’s another rainy morning. I drop my son SonTer off at school and head to my bake shop. My staff are not here yet, I guess they are at home, after all it’s raining. The always busy plaza across the street is deserted…On a Monday morning…because it is raining. I use my key and open up the my shop. I’m siting outside, enjoying my cup of tea while I wait for my staff to come to work and for the town to fully come alive.

Waiting for the town to come alive

I love my small town but sometimes it annoys me… Maybe most times.😁

Happy birthday Asomy

You would have been 43 years old today. I hope you are dancing up there in heaven because I know that’s exactly what you would have been doing here by now. When you left us and I went searching for words and quotes of consolation, I found one that couldn’t have said it any better. It started “a limb has fallen from the family tree”. You see, when you left, that’s how it felt. You were a very vital limb, you held most of the tree together.

❀️

I have been struggling with words to say or write to you, to express exactly how I have been feeling since you left. Words to help with a little relief… the words refuse to come. You see, I found out a while ago that when I write, I feel better or might I say, lighter. Also, I wanted to write because we all know how much you loved to read, so I told myself writing was another way to express how I feel about your absence, perhaps you would read it. I tried to compare your absence with the absence of a vital spice in a meal but I couldn’t find the right spice to describe you for whatever meal I thought about. You weren’t one spice, you were a combination of many spices.

Asomy, since you’ve been gone, we have been missing you. Everyone seems to be handling it differently, I guess we are all different. While some of us may try to mention you fondly in some memories, some of us can’t keep it together when your name or anything about you is brought to remembrance. I have learned, people handle grief in different ways. I also learned that it doesn’t get easier with time, people just learn to handle it better.

Obf

Asomy, since you’ve been gone, I fight a battle of words within me everyday. You see, I was grieving the loss of my friend when you left, I got a double blow and it really hurt. I tell myself that you are both happy and in a better place and just when I think I’ve convinced myself, I begin to remind myself of how much it hurt. When will this battle within end? I hope it does really soon because I really believe you are in a better place, it only hurts to know you won’t be back… oh there I go again.

We love you. We will carry on family gatherings and togetherness just like you did.

Asomy T

I love you. I will always remember you.

Happy birthday over there.