blogtober – Page 3 – Mimi's Thoughts

Community

The Bible tells us in Hebrews 10: 25 that we should not give up meeting together. That means we ought to belong to a community.

I belong to a number of communities;

OBF: I was born into this community.
Tre and Stace family: I have been a part of a community for a long time.

I love these communities. They give me joy, I try to give them joy, they work with me, I work with them, they listen to me, I listen to them, they encourage me, I encourage them, they celebrate me, I celebrate them… This is community.

We all belong to several communities; school, work, alumni/alumnae associations and lots more. The community mentioned in the book of Hebrews is what we know now as Church. The church community gives us spiritual encouragement. We are asked not to neglect this community.

Recently I have been a part of a church community that has helped my spiritual and emotional growth. Finding the right church is very important. Our local church is our main community. It gives us a lot to hold on to, especially at those moments in our lives when we are not so certain of anything.

Benefits of being part of a church community

You have a sense of belonging.
You get to encourage others and be encouraged.
You have a safe place to go to, physically and mentally.

Whether we find the right church community or not, it would be lovely if we could find and be a part of any community that will build and encourage us.

Try as much as you can not to be alone.

The Tower Of Hope

My friend Helen who had just recently moved to a new apartment sent me her new address and so I set out with my son to find the place. As we drove closer to the description she had sent us, we noticed a structure that was very familiar to us. It was my son who spoke first; “hey, mummy, look, it’s Tower of Hope”. Tower of Hope is a school near our home with the words ‘The Tower of Hope’ boldly written on its roof. It suddenly occurred to us that we had driven a long distance only to end up close to our home. We noticed a small path in front of Helen’s place that went in the direction of our home, it was not motor-able and that meant we could only go through on foot. SonTer and I decided then that we would make time to find that path that connected our home to hers someday.

That day came one cool July morning, I woke SonTer up for a morning walk and then we started to use our mind’s eyes to find our way to Helen’s place. We did, it was a ten minute walk. It was pretty easy too. All we had to do was to keep our eyes on the Tower of Hope.

I guess this is very similar to how we live our lives. I wonder how many times we have had to take longer roads and use more complicated means to get to a goal or a stage in our lives only because we do not know any better. I realised that if I could just always look up to my own personal Tower of Hope, it could be a whole lot easier.

We all have our Tower of Hope and He is our God. Ever present, ever faithful.

Idolatry

I heard Dante Bowe sing the words to a song and I got confused. The words sounded so familiar to me. Words I had heard and read in romance movies between lovers. Words I had used my self to express my need to please a fellow human like myslef. I must confess that I had never really spoken those words to my God.

Tell me what what moves you?
You are my treasure.
No matter how much the cost.
You are the only thing that matters.
I live to please you.

We say these words so easily to people and things; our phones, self, friends, spouses, parents and children.

The word idolatry has been defined from the stories in the old testaments, especially from Deuteronomy where it explicitly states that “You shall not make for yourself a carved image or any likeness of anything………”.

Over the years, our idols have changed from carved lifeless images to every day people and things. We commit idolatry when we make anything more important than our God. I found myself guilty of idolatry through the song. I repented and I am depending on a friend like no other, Jesus, to see me through.

Is there anything more important than God in your life?

Click on the link below to listen to the song-

Move your heart – Maverick city music & UPPERROOM Download

Anastasia

I was raised by a catholic mother. She made sure my siblings and I went through all the processes required to be a “full catholic” ; baptismal classes, baptism, communion classes, first Holy communion, confirmation classes and confirmation. I didn’t get to complete my own process, I didn’t get confirmed and because of that, I have only one English name while my sisters have two each.

They have two because upon confirmation, a person is usually given a new name, different from the one given at baptism. This name is supposed be a name of a saint. Although lately, I have heard some confirmation names that don’t sound any bit like any Saint I have heard of. I guess everything is changing these days, even church rules.

In 1988 I was baptised and I was given the name Anastasia. I loved it with all my heart. Somehow, some time in my path to disvover myself, I began to dislike the name. I shortened it to one of the cool versions I had heard and then I became Stacey. Hmmmm.

I have found my child self once again lately in some things I have been participating in, and one of the things that this found child misses is the name Anastasia. I love the name all over again.

As it is, our minds work in line with the universe. The universe perceives and receives our thoughts and words and it sends similar things our way… and for some time now, I have been seeing a lot of things about people called Anastasia, but the one that caught my attention the most is a certain fake Anastasia, Anna Anderson Alias Franziska Schanzkowska. She was known as an imposter.

She gained popularity by claiming to be Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia.

The real Duchess Anastasia was assumed to have escaped an assassination of her entire family. She was the youngest daughter of the last Emperor of Russia, King of Congress Poland and Grand Duke of Finland. He reigned from 1st November, 1894 to 15th March, 1917.

Movies tell the best stories, so I will recommend you look this up and enjoy.

Anastasia : The mystery of Anna

You can watch this movie on :

Amazon Prime video
Apple TV
Showmax
And a few other streaming services

The movie has a number of Emmys and Golden globes.

If you are a reader, I will recommend the book titled ‘The Riddle of Anna Anderson’ by Peter Kurth

Is there something you thought you didn’t like but lately, seems to appear on your “I miss you” list? What steps did you or have you taken to get it back? Or is it too late?

I’m wondering about my Anastasia and how I can reconnect with the name and the girl again. I miss her.

Just like that

He lit a cigarette and blew it into the air. He loved the way the smoke went with the wind as it carried it away. He thought about the job application he left at a private Audit Firm nearby and the brief interview that followed. He wished he would get a call back. He worried about his life and how difficult things had become.He never imagined when he was a little boy that things could ever be this hard. Ever.

Somehow his thoughts went back to the first day he smoked a cigarette and he realised he had been 13 years old. Just a child. Just about the same time he had dreamed of his future life and how he expected it to be. This definitely was not the picture he had in mind.

Just like today, he really loved the way he felt when he took a drag from the stick. He took another drag and let his thoughts wander around and around and it landed on the fear of never getting the job he had applied for because the age requirement was way below his age. He would be 30 in September, that was barely 3 months away.

That’s when it hit him, if he was turning 30 and he had been smoking since he was 13, he had been smoking for more than half his life.

He put out the cigarette and hasn’t smoked a day since then, he turned 49 last September.

They say everything that has a beginning has an end.

Side Hustle

The world’s economy has gotten more difficult over the past decade. Jobs have become harder to get with the employment levels fluctuating up and down. Resources have become harder to acquire and wages have dropped because of the increase in cost of providing for one’s self, family and dependents. The need for an additional source of income to cushion the needs and problems that arise has become inevitable.

Any activity, job or work that a person engages in for the benefit of making additional income is referred to as a side hustle. This is usually a support income to the regular or main source of income. The term side hustle is not an English phrase; it is an acceptable slang that has gradually become popular over the years.

There are different kinds of side hustles available these days. Some are physical and require your presence, some are online via the use of internet and some are gender related. However, in recent times, gender has become redundant when it comes to work.

Sedentary side hustle: if you are one who is not into hard work and you can spend hours just sitting on your computer then you may prefer these options;

Website design: if you are creative, have a web design skills and you are good with computer programming, you can make good money from creating and designing websites for businesses, organizations and individuals as well.
Managing accounts on social media: some business owners who need to be making their presence seen on social media seem to know nothing or very little about Facebook, tiktok, instagram, twitter and the rest. You could make some cool money on the side by managing and marketing these accounts for these businesses.
Reading online books for money: it always makes sense to make money from something that you love to do. If you are a steady reader, this could be an opportunity to make some extra cash.
Writing eBooks and articles: online books have gradually become a thing people are willing to pay for. If you have an idea you think people will want to read then this is something you could do.
Freelance writing: There is a demand for freelance writers. If you write good content and decent material, this could fetch you some money on the side.

Physically active side hustle:

Driving for Uber, Bolt or any other ride sharing company: signing up and driving for these companies can fetch you additional or major cash. This depends on the hours you choose to log in. A driver’s license and good navigation skill is all you need.
Teaching: this is not necessarily the classroom method. Most people have talents in music, photography, art and so much more. If you are certain these talents are top notch, invest time in enrolling and coaching people for a fee.
Car Wash services: some companies or private car owners are willing to pay for their cars to be washed and cleaned. You could invest in the necessary equipment and engage in this in the evenings or on weekends.
Event Services: This includes all kinds of services that are usually needed at events.From photography to cakes to venue decorations to catering services. There is always a market for these services.

Can a side hustle bring more income than the main source of income?

There is no written rule as to how much a side hustle should or can pay a person. A main job may not pay some people as much as their side hustle does but it can still remain and be called their main job. There are several reasons why some people may maintain a lower paying main job and still carry out the higher paying one on the side. Some of these reasons may be:

Job security- this could mean a good pension and benefits.
Health insurance – A person is likely to remain with a main job that does not bring in a s much money as the main job if the main job provides good health services and insurance.
Passion for the profession – some people genuinely love their main jobs and so they may never see the need to leave even when the side hustle brings in more money
Avoid being idle – certain people love to have a place to go to.

How will I know what side hustle to go into?

You cannot enjoy or sustain something if you are not interested in or passionate about it. However, you must also put a few other things into consideration.

Time: If you don’t pick a side hustle right, the time clash will likely interfere with your main job and this could lead to your losing the main job.
Availability of startup capital: if the side hustle you are interested in and also have time for requires more than the amount to money you have to start it then you may have a problem.

Body Jump-Start

A few days ago I shared about my relationship with carbohydrates. It has been hard to manage. I never had any problems with carbs until late into my twenties. I began to notice that my body was taking its good time with digesting foods. My metabolism had slowed down.

Carbohydrates contain sugars that take long to digest and break down. Every now and again I try to speed up my metabolism and I also completely cut off carbohydrates. This allows me to jump-start my entire body and make it happy for a period of time.

How to speed up metabolism:

Replace carbohydrates with lots of protein
Drink lots of water
Take at least 10,000 steps daily
Drink green tea and coffee
Eat a lot of pepper and other spicy foods
Get at least 8 hours of sleep

How do I know if my metabolism is slowing down? Your metabolism may be slowing down when you feel some of these symptoms;

When you begin to gain a lot of weight
You notice that you are getting tired very easily
You start to get dry skin/hair and your nails break easily
You feel constipated
You get nagging headaches that dont go away
You get a feeling of sadness and depression

Some of these signs may not be related to your metabolism so it is recommended that you speak with a health specialist before coming to any conclusions.

It is very important to note that Carbohydrates are essential for the body as they are its main source of energy and so cutting them off completely for too long can be dangerous to health.

Su’eddie

Last night my entire maternal family (OBF is what we call ourselves) held our breath as we watched and waited for the revealing of the winner of The Nigeria Prize for Literature.

One of ours, Su’eddie Vershima Agema had emerged among the three finalists for 2022.

We waited together on our whatsapp group as we kept ourselves occupied with discussions and jokes from the live broadcast of the Grand Award Night. The tension was really high for us all; we really wanted our Su’eddie to win. Besides the honour of being named the winner, winning came along with a “token” of One Hundred Thousand US Dollars.

The moment came, the winner was announced. It was not my Su.

Su as I prefer to call him is my brother and my friend. He is also my mentor and muse when it comes to writing. He is a pain in my neck whenever I go long periods without writing something. He still remains a pain concerning an unfinished project I have been working on. He is the same way even with himself, he starts a thing, he pushes himself and he completes it. He is a hard worker. He is diligent.

OBF took the news well, we went ahead to congratulate him because to us, being top 3 is a big deal.

Dear Su, I know there are more finalist positions, nominations and wins ahead.

Love you loads.

Replacement therapy

A close relative of mine who we had known to be a heavy drinker for most of his life, having faced a serious turning point in his life, decided to ditch the bottle. This came as a surprise to many of his relatives. He openly and proudly made this announcement to the surprise and joy of everyone. The only fear that kept revisiting my mind was the fear of jinx. What remains funny about my fear of jinxing a good thing is the fact that I have never really decided if I believe in it or not. I hope for his sake that it is a myth.

I noticed over a period of weeks that his appetite for food had somewhat doubled. We had a family commitment that lasted 3 days and I got the opportunity to be in close proximity with him and his increased appetite became more obvious to me. He was popping meals as frequently as a deer poops.

That was when I started to wonder what the matter was. I was with my friend Helen and we reasoned together. She said it seemed he had replaced his drink with food. Immediately, I thought how that was easy and good therapy… or so it seemed at that time.

Replacement therapy is simply replacing one addiction or habit with another one. The replaced addiction is often perceived as a bad one that needs to be stopped. Sometimes it is not the case. Sometimes the new addiction isn’t really always the best choice for us.

Is replacement therapy really good? I think it isn’t but I think sometimes it is the only solution.

In a long term change plan, I think it is not the best option because some day, the new habit may not be strong or sufficient enough and then the old one could resurface and come backs are often stronger.

However, if there is a strong need for a temporary change, one can easily replace one thing with another while they wait for time to pass. For example, we can replace carbonated drinks with lots of water during a detox or we can replace social media with novels and movies when we are on a social media fast. I have effectively done a few replacements myself and the results were quite fulfilling.

What do you think about replacement therapy?

A book for November

“Mimi always does the coming over” . This is what one of my sisters said. I don’t know which of them said it, but after that had been said, they all agreed to come over to my town and spend my 40th birthday with me.

My three sisters live in the same city; almost 300 kilometres from my own town. Every now and again, I get to go over to the city for family events and celebrations. My dad happens to live in that same city and some of these celebrations are about him. Most of my close cousins and niblings live in that same city too. So yes, Mimi always does the coming over. I usually enjoy the trips because they give me a breather from my usual life schedule.

Two of my three sisters were able to come and they spent my 40th with me. I was super excited to have them around and I will never forget how it felt. My eldest sister had to take a work trip to London in the same week and she couldnt make it. She kept on saying how sorry she was for having to miss being with me on that day.

She brought me a book while she was away. A book by Alexander Potter titled Confessions of a forty something f##k up. Having been used to reading e-books for a while, it felt good to have a paperback in my hand, plus, the title suited just fine.

I went through the summary, praises and reviews of the book and I must say that I am super excited.

Thank you Dough. I will jump right into my book after blogtober.