My brain and names

Owooooobiiiiiii…I screamed… And immediately a man with a woman and son came to a halt, Owobi tripped and almost fell on a stack of boxes…we were right in the middle of a market square. I walked to meet them. I apologized to the woman for screaming her husband’s name that loud, we laughed about it. I was just excited to see him. He was my classmate from primary school. We graduated thirty years ago…and yes I’ve seen him a few times since then but it always feels good to see a primary school mate. He goes by Andrew now. It’s a good name but my brain knows only one. Owobi.

I’ve had to talk with my dad a lot in the last two weeks because we have been doing some arrangements for a funeral…My close relative lost his wife. Each time my dad and I spoke, we would be talking about the same person (my relative) but he would call him Vembe and I would say Shima. Shima is his first name and Vembe is the last. All of a sudden, I’m just finding out, my dad switched at some point and I didn’t know, for him, Shima is now Vembe. Maybe because he’s a man now and no longer a boy…I’m guessing.  He’ll always be Shima in my head.

Another one… He was always Uncle James to us…my siblings and I, and even my mom. Over a period of twenty four years, he has held so many offices and I watch how everyone calls him by some new way every few years. Sometimes I even try too, to call him by the current name (title) per season but it just won’t flow. To me he will always be Uncle James.

My brain obviously doesn’t do too well with name changing.

It’s funny, even I answer to so many names

This and then that

I like to read books and then watch the television adaptations. I’m not sure when I decided I liked this but in the last six months, I’ve gone from the Lost flowers of Alice Hart by Holly Ringland to The Idea of you by Robin Lee and then  Beth O’Leary’s The Flat Share.

I love The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart. The book taught me a few new things and then it made me think too…I love it when a book makes me pause just to think. The television series was just okay.

I had a lot to say about The Idea of You in my posts The Idea Of You  and The Idea of You…2… book and film were lovely.

For The Flat Share, I loved the book but I think the television version could have been better than the attempt that was made. You see, it’s such a good story line, two people who share a flat but never get to see each other until they finally do of course. Tiffy gets the Flat from 6pm to 8am on weekdays and weekends. Leon, who actually owns the Flat works nights at a hospice, so he gets 8am to 6pm on weekdays and spends the weekends at his girlfriend’s place. Convenient and economical for both of them. The novel plays out nicely and it ends well. I can’t say the same for the film, a six part series, forty five minutes each.

Next in line…The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave, I’ve got a forty pages to go with the book. I hope I enjoy the television series. I already love the fact that the Main role is played by Jennifer Garner and it’s a thriller.

Seesaw

‘Look at me baby”. It’s what I need to say often when I talk to my husband. Some times I just pause mid-speech till he notices I’m not talking anymore and then he looks at me.

Yeah, I may seem needy but I usually need to know I’m not just talking to myself. I believe a conversation needs engagement from both participants. For me, the talker in the marriage, I often need to feel encouraged to continue. I may be a talker but when I don’t see any interest, I don’t go on rambling.

My husband loves it when I talk to him but he definitely needs to be schooled in the art of conversation. We laugh about it sometimes, and sometimes I frown.

There’s nothing more encouraging for me when I talk to a person than getting a “yes”, “I see”, “really?”, “hmmmm”, “oh no”, “wow” and the likes in between.

Do you have someone like that in your life?

For me…Angela… This conversationist called Angela…She just let’s you know you are talking to someone. She could even help you finish a sentence with the right words you were looking for.

Holly for Steven. Steven is a pastor and preacher, I think Steven is like me, he likes to know you are listening and paying attention…and I think Holly knows this. So the entire sermon, you are sure to hear a few encouraging notes like “Wow”, “so good”,  from the front row…

Talking with someone and having them respond…Feels so good. Just like a seesaw

Pic courtesy: Pinterest

Men… them

Today, I cried an unusual amount of tears.

I got called in and had to face a situation at my son’s school.

I cried because I was heartbroken…I cried because I realized my son wasn’t opening up to me like he used to…it hit me…I’m drawing towards those years I was warned about.

I had picked my husband off from work and we did the school run together…after that, I worked through the day and got home.

My son and I, we talked, and then fell into our routine and relaxed into the evening’s activities… One of my favorite movies is “The brothers’ featuring Morris Chestnut…and I particularly love the scene when his mom dances around about the fact that her husband and son get really mushy…they are not so close.

Back to today… My husband comes in on this very emotional evening, he goes into my son’s room  and I walk in on them (he and my son) having a heart to heart….the tears came running again… They are talking about the issues from the day…Reminded me of the scene from The Brothers.

Boys just need their daddies 

My quota…for today

I was going through Dimmajo blog on https://whathaveyoureadthismonth.wordpress.com when I read the line “The things that matter most in life are not just being happy, It is people being happy because of us” and I just kept thinking about it.

It was on her blog post titled ‘THERE IS NO SACRIFICE BETTER THAN BEING HAPPY, AND ALSO OTHERS BEING HAPPY BECAUSE OF YOU!!”

Twenty four hours later, I found myself reading out it to my husband…it was the third time I had gone back to the blog post.

I think it’s what had me going this afternoon as I prepared to visit a colleague in the hospital.

I remembered a conversation we had had about a certain brand of iced tea on the shelves of a super market in town.

She had told me how much she loved it and recommended I give it a try and I told her I was going to check it out. I still haven’t done that.

Back to present day, I’m racking my brain about what to take to her and then I realized I could make a version of that lemon and Lipton iced tea she talked about… after all, i had all the ingredients I needed at home.

I showed up at her hospital bedside at 3pm with a very chilled jar of my home made lipton and lemon iced tea.

I smiled when I heard her say “chai…aunty Mimi this thing is so sweet”. It made my heart smile to see her so happy. She was happy because of something I had done. I love it when I make people smile.

One day at a time…I did today’s quota…hello tomorrow

Photo by uplash.com

Sucker

I saw a random quiz

I took it

Not like I need an online quiz to tell me

I already know

I’m a sucker

For anything

That makes my heart stop

That makes me cry

That’s even cheesy

As long as it’s romantic

My result

Love

(First published on May 19th 2018 on Facebook)…it has been edited.



This is one word God asks us to practice.

Love. 

Love for Him and love for our neighbours.


It’s also one word that most people try to claim that they are not affected by… but it’s the one I’m sure affects the hardest of people.


When it hits you it turns you around and upside down and inside out.

It can make you a fool and then at the same time, make you look like a king/queen.


Love is good.

I’m a sucker for love and I’m not ashamed of it.

I love my husband and my son.

I love my sisters, brother and my parents.

I love OBF. I love my non-blood family…
I love a few things… Books, movies, shows etc
That’s why I’m all mushy mushy today as I say congratulations to Harry and my very own Meghan.

It’s written “my very own Meghan” because I am a huge fan of ‘Suits’ the TV series where she played the role of Rachel Zane for 7 seasons

Jail Time

It’s a few minutes to 9am. I’m sitting alone, sipping my coffee…black, no sugar, trying to finish the last few pages of my current read ‘The Flat Share’…a book by Beth O’Leary.

It was either the book, a recording on my podcast ‘Reading with Emaistace’ or a little scribbling in a journal my cousin gave to me. The book won.

Well, now I guess I can say the book ended up losing because here I am, writing this piece.

I’ve been alone like this for the past forty seven minutes and it’s the most alone time I’ve had in the past five days. That’s a long time…for me. It’s no wonder I have been unable to give my best, both at work and at home.

It’s how I refuel,  a little alone time each day… To read, write, listen to music, watch something I love or watch some sermons.

Refueling oneself is making time to create positive energy to enable you tackle obstacles/challenges and then achieve success. It’s just like a car. It can’t move on zero fuel.

…but the key thing, I believe, is to find the right fuel for your personality and also for the season/reason. I’ve had days when I’ve needed to refuel with something other than alone time, like an evening out with a few friends or a weekend away with my sister’s where we talk and hardly sleep.

Some people refuel with physical exercise at the gym or a long run. For some, it’s being with people, partying and dancing. Different strokes…

A few days ago, my cousin Ngodoo shared a meme on our family’s WhatsApp group that read “Deep question for your friends, if I went to Jail, what would you think I had done?”… Angela listed a few crimes for a few family members but she didn’t list any for me. So when I cried “Do me, Do me, Do me” and her response was “taking too much time to be alone”, I knew she was right.

Guilty as charged.

How do you refuel?

Illuminate

Will we see the light again?

The night is so dark

We sit afar, we sit close

Whispering to each other, laughing together

We are so happy…we have each other

…but there’s just that one thing

It’s too dark in here

Will he notice? How dark it is

Will he see, that we can’t walk?

That one of us lost a hand?

And the other never had one at all?

Can he see? that our eyes are sunken

Our necks are brittle

Our thirsty mouths and throat yearn for water

Lips, cracked and dry

But he is with us, even as we sit in the dark

We see him see us from his high and brightly lit corner

But maybe he didn’t see, maybe he can’t see

But what about his mind?

What goes through it at night?

That moment when he’s about to go to sleep?

Does his mind not see?

I may just keep wondering

as we wait

As we hope

That one day, someone,

Maybe not even him

will shine a light

And swallow up all the darkness

Photo credit: Pinterest

Ghost Writer

At Elevation Church, Steven Furtick has been doing a teaching series for 5 weeks now. The series is titled Ghost Writer.

The Holy Ghost can write your story…with you.
The past 4 weeks have gone like this;
1.Page Turner
2.Plot Hole
3.Source Material
4.Places Everyone
Today I will share bits from week 5.

Title : Cutting Room
Scripture Reading – Acts 4:23-31


The cutting room can bring clarity. You get to decide what to leave in and what to cut out (of your life).
In the book of Acts we can see miracles and we can see mistakes. They were all left in scripture for a purpose;to guide and teach us today.
Some bad stuff are meant for lessons…not only in the Bible, but in our lives too.


Enter the cutting room – Revisit a previous experience with a better perspective and you will get a fresh lesson.

While you are in the cutting room, who is there with you? Take positive people and vibes. No negative people, cynical people, complainers.
Enter the cutting room with God. Let Him help you with your processing. Any process that does not start with God is doomed.

Let the Holy Ghost come with His scissors.
Don’t listen to what the enemy has been telling you… don’t take those words to the cutting room.
We grow through what we go over with God. That’s the review.


We shouldn’t start with the problem when we want to process the problem. We should start with God.
It’s bigger than us.


Some of the things we need to cut are the things we cling to.


Stop praying about the problem so much that you never get to God.God is bigger than this.He has a million ways to solve it.


The devil can’t do anything to you without going through God first.
Let go.


When you release yourself…God releases THE FINAL CUT.
That’s  a fact. Stop battling with your edits. Let God.

      There’s a lot more…you should look it up at elevationchurch.org