I recently came to a conclusion
Maybe twenty minutes ago
That almost ninety percent of the world’s population
Focus on problems
Rather than the solutions
I feel deeply saddened about this…
The focus on problems,
Brings more problems
Rather than solutions
…and peace.
I overheard a video clip from my husband’s phone this morning. It was the voice of Steve Harvey, it was about fathers’ day. Immediately it hit me and I said “oh my goodness, it’s fathers’ day”.
My husband chuckled and said “I don’t even have your time…it’s one day in a year and y’all always forget”.
Honestly I’ve always wondered how come, but Women get celebrated a lot… and men… fathers…we kind of forget/ignore.
One role my husband has never ignored is his role as a father.
It’s why I’ve chosen to celebrate him today.
Eleven years of fatherhood and he has proven himself true.
You are an amazing dad darling.
I love you.
I Know SonTer loves you more
A couple of days ago I had a conversation with my older sister and at some point in that conversation, I tried to say a few things to her and in the process I got misunderstood somehow. Trying to explain my point left me a bit distraught and then of course teary. The more I opened my mouth to speak, the more I teared up. I need to add, that isn’t unusual at all. That is typical Mimi.
Now, the issue was that my sister became shocked and might I say, upset. She told me she didn’t expect tears and she was beyond shocked, as our conversation didn’t warrant any tears.
I’ve spent almost forty eight hours thinking about this. I have wondered how she never knew this about me. Then it hit me, we have never had a conversation where my emotions were spread out on the table. I realized that when I am with her, I always try to be a strong pillar for her, hiding any issues or problems, if I had them. I have always felt she didn’t need to add my own worries to hers.
My mind began to wander, wondering how many people really knew the people around them or what they were capable or incapable of, what they like or don’t like, what scares them and what makes them happy.
Do people know that I can’t bear to watch a traumatic news item or movie? Haunts me for days. Do they know that a romcom book or movie can completely reset a bad day for me? Do they know that I love it when people are happy and it breaks my heart when I see someone hurting?Does anyone know that I bother myself about the most trivial issues? worrying that I’ve upset someone about this or that? Do they know, that at the slightest sign of conflict, my heart begins to beat faster that usual?I guess not…
My question is, are we to tell people about ourselves and make them aware of who we are or do they get to find out as we get to know each other and as the bond thickens?
If we don’t let them know, we can’t blame them when they appear not to know. Right?
I’ve spent a bit of time alone in the car after I get home
A meal or more away from my son
A few minutes by myself…to relax
Movie time, alone to hear every word without interrupting sounds of ‘mommy this’ and ‘mommy that’
A girls night out every once in a long long while
That’s okay…I’m guessing
But Sasha… Sasha will fight her babies off for hours to make sure they eat nothing off of the plate
Sasha, you are supposed to be a mommy.
Cut my grand babies some slack…
Sasha is my son’s dog …
Owooooobiiiiiii…I screamed… And immediately a man with a woman and son came to a halt, Owobi tripped and almost fell on a stack of boxes…we were right in the middle of a market square. I walked to meet them. I apologized to the woman for screaming her husband’s name that loud, we laughed about it. I was just excited to see him. He was my classmate from primary school. We graduated thirty years ago…and yes I’ve seen him a few times since then but it always feels good to see a primary school mate. He goes by Andrew now. It’s a good name but my brain knows only one. Owobi.
I’ve had to talk with my dad a lot in the last two weeks because we have been doing some arrangements for a funeral…My close relative lost his wife. Each time my dad and I spoke, we would be talking about the same person (my relative) but he would call him Vembe and I would say Shima. Shima is his first name and Vembe is the last. All of a sudden, I’m just finding out, my dad switched at some point and I didn’t know, for him, Shima is now Vembe. Maybe because he’s a man now and no longer a boy…I’m guessing. He’ll always be Shima in my head.
Another one… He was always Uncle James to us…my siblings and I, and even my mom. Over a period of twenty four years, he has held so many offices and I watch how everyone calls him by some new way every few years. Sometimes I even try too, to call him by the current name (title) per season but it just won’t flow. To me he will always be Uncle James.
My brain obviously doesn’t do too well with name changing.
‘Look at me baby”. It’s what I need to say often when I talk to my husband. Some times I just pause mid-speech till he notices I’m not talking anymore and then he looks at me.
Yeah, I may seem needy but I usually need to know I’m not just talking to myself. I believe a conversation needs engagement from both participants. For me, the talker in the marriage, I often need to feel encouraged to continue. I may be a talker but when I don’t see any interest, I don’t go on rambling.
My husband loves it when I talk to him but he definitely needs to be schooled in the art of conversation. We laugh about it sometimes, and sometimes I frown.
There’s nothing more encouraging for me when I talk to a person than getting a “yes”, “I see”, “really?”, “hmmmm”, “oh no”, “wow” and the likes in between.
Do you have someone like that in your life?
For me…Angela… This conversationist called Angela…She just let’s you know you are talking to someone. She could even help you finish a sentence with the right words you were looking for.
Holly for Steven. Steven is a pastor and preacher, I think Steven is like me, he likes to know you are listening and paying attention…and I think Holly knows this. So the entire sermon, you are sure to hear a few encouraging notes like “Wow”, “so good”, from the front row…
Talking with someone and having them respond…Feels so good. Just like a seesaw
Today, I cried an unusual amount of tears.
I got called in and had to face a situation at my son’s school.
I cried because I was heartbroken…I cried because I realized my son wasn’t opening up to me like he used to…it hit me…I’m drawing towards those years I was warned about.
I had picked my husband off from work and we did the school run together…after that, I worked through the day and got home.
My son and I, we talked, and then fell into our routine and relaxed into the evening’s activities… One of my favorite movies is “The brothers’ featuring Morris Chestnut…and I particularly love the scene when his mom dances around about the fact that her husband and son get really mushy…they are not so close.
Back to today… My husband comes in on this very emotional evening, he goes into my son’s room and I walk in on them (he and my son) having a heart to heart….the tears came running again… They are talking about the issues from the day…Reminded me of the scene from The Brothers.
Boys just need their daddies
I was going through Dimmajo blog on https://whathaveyoureadthismonth.wordpress.com when I read the line “The things that matter most in life are not just being happy, It is people being happy because of us” and I just kept thinking about it.
It was on her blog post titled ‘THERE IS NO SACRIFICE BETTER THAN BEING HAPPY, AND ALSO OTHERS BEING HAPPY BECAUSE OF YOU!!”
Twenty four hours later, I found myself reading out it to my husband…it was the third time I had gone back to the blog post.
I think it’s what had me going this afternoon as I prepared to visit a colleague in the hospital.
I remembered a conversation we had had about a certain brand of iced tea on the shelves of a super market in town.
She had told me how much she loved it and recommended I give it a try and I told her I was going to check it out. I still haven’t done that.
Back to present day, I’m racking my brain about what to take to her and then I realized I could make a version of that lemon and Lipton iced tea she talked about… after all, i had all the ingredients I needed at home.
I showed up at her hospital bedside at 3pm with a very chilled jar of my home made lipton and lemon iced tea.
I smiled when I heard her say “chai…aunty Mimi this thing is so sweet”. It made my heart smile to see her so happy. She was happy because of something I had done. I love it when I make people smile.
One day at a time…I did today’s quota…hello tomorrow
I saw a random quiz
I took it
Not like I need an online quiz to tell me
I already know
I’m a sucker
For anything
That makes my heart stop
That makes me cry
That’s even cheesy
As long as it’s romantic
(First published on May 19th 2018 on Facebook)…it has been edited.
This is one word God asks us to practice.
Love.
Love for Him and love for our neighbours.
It’s also one word that most people try to claim that they are not affected by… but it’s the one I’m sure affects the hardest of people.
When it hits you it turns you around and upside down and inside out.
It can make you a fool and then at the same time, make you look like a king/queen.
Love is good.
I’m a sucker for love and I’m not ashamed of it.
I love my husband and my son.
I love my sisters, brother and my parents.
I love OBF. I love my non-blood family…
I love a few things… Books, movies, shows etc
That’s why I’m all mushy mushy today as I say congratulations to Harry and my very own Meghan.
It’s written “my very own Meghan” because I am a huge fan of ‘Suits’ the TV series where she played the role of Rachel Zane for 7 seasons
