I realized a few years ago that I use the word Grace a lot. I have heard myself say it in prayer, when speaking with my egroup ladies on our Wednesday zoon call and several other times when I speak of matters that speak to my heart. I began to wonder if I was using it loosely and unnecessarily. I searched and I found that I’m good.
Grace is unmerited favor, kindness, or help freely given…especially when it’s not earned or deserved. It can be spiritual, emotional, or relational. In our/my Christian theology, grace is the love and mercy God gives to people regardless of their worthiness.
I looked more broadly, and I confirmed that grace can also mean elegance in behavior, forgiveness when wronged, or calmness under pressure.
You might recognize that you have grace when:
- You offer forgiveness instead of retaliation.
- You feel at peace even when things aren’t perfect.
- You treat yourself and others with compassion, not condemnation.
- You receive kindness or a second chance that you didn’t “earn,” and your heart softens in response.
Grace often shows itself in how you respond…especially when you’re under pressure or dealing with someone else’s flaws or your own failures.
Here are a few ways I have consciously allowed myself to have and also share grace
1. Slow Down and Breathe: Grace begins with presence. When you slow your pace…physically and emotionally, you create room to respond thoughtfully rather than react harshly. A deep breath can be the space grace needs to enter. This is something I’ve learned in the past 3 or 4 years.
“Let your gentleness be evident to all.” — Philippians 4:5
2. Choose Compassion Over Judgment: I am glad to say that I have gained a lot of trust from a number of people around me, people who look up to me by just simply being gentle and less judgmental. Everyone is carrying something unseen. Grace looks beyond mistakes and sees the humanity in others. Before criticizing, ask: What might this person be going through?
3. Be Gentle with Yourself: I have learned to give myself a lot of grace. Grace is not just for others. It’s also about letting go of perfectionism, forgiving yourself, and treating your inner voice with kindness. Self-grace builds the foundation for extending it to others. I have had the need to extent to others lately.
4. Practice Forgiveness: I am grateful for one of the gifts I received in life, the gift of forgiveness. It took me a while to realize that it was a gift at all.
Forgiveness is grace in action. You don’t excuse hurt, but you release the power it has over you. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting…it means choosing freedom over bitterness.
5. Speak with Kindness: Words have weight. A gracious person uses their voice to uplift, not to wound. Even hard truths can be spoken with kindness and respect.
6. Accept Grace When It’s Given: It’s sometimes hardest to receive grace…whether from God, others, or even life itself. But receiving it opens your heart to pass… I am still learning this particular act. God help me
In all this, I ask guidance and help from God.
