I woke up bright and early looking forward to a great day at work after resting on the national holiday in celebration of Nigeria at 66, but it turned to a black Friday.
I lost a friend today.
He started off as a family friend when I was younger, and now that I’m married, he had become a good friend of my husband. Somehow, over the years, the friendship grew, and today, we are left with the painful reality that he is no longer here.
This morning, my husband and I woke up encouraging each other to love and live in the day. To take each day as precious because we really don’t know what tomorrow holds.
We ended that conversation agreeing that it is God’s grace that gives us the privilege to see another day.
And today, that conversation feels different.
Life is truly a gift. Tomorrow is never promised. Love your people. Say the things you need to say. Make the moments count.
Because sometimes, you wake up expecting an ordinary day, and before the day is over, everything has changed.
Today, I am grateful for the grace to be here. And I am deeply saddened that a friend is no longer here.
Tag: grief
Friday the 13th
I spent the entire 2nd week in may 2022 in anxiety. I was afraid of Friday, the 13th of May.
I learned a lot about grief in a few months…between December 2021 and April 2022.
What amazes me is how it took over 20 years of loosing loved ones to finally feel a great sense of loss.
I’ve lost so many loved ones over the years so you would think I would have become used to death and grieving.
Let’s see, there was aunty Pat, then there was Shagba, Uncle Abraham, Uncle Peter, Joey, Ernie, Tertsea, Uncle Nguneakaa… It’s a long list.
In addition to that list, on a Friday, the 13th day of May 2013 Uncle Charles went to be with the Lord. It was a bad blow.
It was when I gave in to the belief that Friday the 13th was an unlucky day.
Somehow I never noticed any ones that occured till 2022.
Filled with grief and fear from the loss of my friend and my cousin within one month, I couldn’t help but notice that the 13th of May 2022 fell on a Friday.
I waited in fear…
The day came and went.
Everything went well.
It was all in my mind.
Fear is a horrible thing.
Grieving Never Ends
A few days ago, it was the remembrance of my late uncle’s passing. It had been a very painful death… The fact that he died and the way he died… All painful.
To add an insult unto the injury, someone thought it would be a good idea to create a post with gruesome images of the incident… Somehow, the entire family got to see this post. This brought so much sadness to all… A few actually cried.
Almost everyone I know has lost a loved one and we all know how much it hurts. Often, when time passes, we assume that we have all grieved and have moved on… This isn’t true.
We must continue to live life, we learn to wake up and put on a bold act and go about our lives… Then we get used to doing it easily and time continues to pass. The truth remains, in our alone time, we remember. We miss them and sometimes we even reminisce. We look back and sometimes we still hurt.
We continue to grieve. But we must continue to live. So it appears as though we have stopped grieving.
Grieving never ends.
We must be sensitive to EVERYONE who has lost someone. Even if this person was a mutual “someone” . We mustn’t assume that everyone is at the same phase of grief as we are. We all grieve differently.
Today, I am sending a purple heart to everyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. May you find strength to keep keeping on as you remember them and especially on the dates they passed.
