Expectations

I  realized something about expectations recently. I found out that they are just dreams that bring disappointment.

I realize that I expect this, and I expect that… I expect people to love me the way I love them. I expect people to understand me because I have tried so hard to understand them. I expect effort because I give effort. I expect people to behave according to what I think is reasonable, fair, or obvious.

And then when they don’t, I am so  disappointed. I realized that it’s not just that I expect, it is that I sometimes turn possibility into certainty.

It’s like, instead of saying , “I would love for this to happen.”, somewhere along the way, I turn it into, “This should happen.” And when reality doesn’t follow the script I have written in my head, I am hurt.

I have successfully been confusing hope with expectation.

Hope says “I would love this. I believe it can happen. I will welcome it if it does.” but then, Expectation says, “I have already imagined this happening, so when it doesn’t, something has been taken from me.”


I have decided to guide myself to see  that I can want something deeply without deciding that it must happen… And I can hope for something without making it a condition for my peace.

I can dream about how I would like things to be, while still allowing life, and people, to be what they actually are.

Author: Emaistace

wife, mom, sister, daughter, aunty, friend. writing my everyday thoughts as they pop up. View all posts by Emaistace