Alone with Myself

Did I Always Like Being Alone?

In retrospect, I sometimes wonder if I was always a loner, or if life taught me how to be one.

I honestly don’t know if I started out as someone who particularly enjoyed being alone. Maybe I did. Maybe that part of me was always there. Anyway, over the years, I found myself alone quite a lot. Sometimes by choice, sometimes simply because life happened that way.

I spent the better part of last night thinking about way too many things and I think that somewhere along the line, something changed about my love for quiet me-time.

I stopped seeing being alone as something to endure. I started enjoying my own company.

I became comfortable with my thoughts. I learnt how to sit with myself. I found things I enjoyed doing alone. I discovered that I didn’t always need noise, conversation or people around me to feel fulfilled.

I realized that being alone became peaceful.

I wonder if it’s strange that now, I actually look forward to it a lot.

Which makes me wonder: did I always have this in me, or did life teach me?

…or it is a bit of both?

I still think that maybe the ability to enjoy solitude was always somewhere inside me, and then life gave me enough opportunities to discover it.

Author: Emaistace

wife, mom, sister, daughter, aunty, friend. writing my everyday thoughts as they pop up. View all posts by Emaistace