They’re Watching

They’re Watching… Even When We Think They Aren’t

Yesterday, I came across a video that got me thinking. It talked about how children don’t just listen to what we say, they watch how we live.

Honestly, I had to pause the video for a minute because I could relate so much.

One thing I became very intentional about years ago was telling unnecessary phone lies. You know the kind I’m talking about. “Tell them I’m not around.” “Tell them I’m sleeping.” “Say I’m not at home.”

They’re the little things we sometimes say without thinking much about them. But then when my son started to become aware of things, I realized he was always listening. Always.

So I stopped.

It wasn’t because I suddenly became perfect, it was because I didn’t want him growing up thinking that being dishonest was normal.

The funny thing is, he’s thirteen now, and if I accidentally say something that doesn’t quite add up, he’s quick to look at me like… “Mummy…” No long speech. No lecture. Just that look… And I immediately know I’ve been caught. He’s been doing this for many years now.

Children have a way of holding us accountable without even trying. This makes me realize that parenting isn’t just about teaching. It’s about demonstrating.

Our children are learning how to speak by listening to us. They’re learning how to treat people by watching us. They’re learning how to handle disappointment by seeing how we react. They’re even learning whether it’s okay to say “no” by watching us set or fail to set healthy boundaries.

That part really hit me.

Sometimes we say yes when we desperately want to say no because we don’t want to offend people. We overextend ourselves. We keep everyone happy while quietly becoming exhausted.

Our children notice that too.
I remember one day I let some people bully me and I ended up crying… A lot. I cringe every time remember, my son was there, he watched the whole thing. I’m glad I have since learned how to speak up for myself and say “no” when I have to.
If they grow up watching us constantly ignore our own boundaries, they may grow up believing that’s what kindness looks like.

It isn’t.

One of the healthiest things a child can see is a parent who can lovingly say,

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”… Without guilt or drama… Without feeling like the world will end.

Here’s something else I’ve learned first hand over the years. Our children don’t need perfect parents, they need honest ones.

Parents who can say, “I was wrong.” “I’m sorry.” “I’ll do better next time.” It teaches them far more than pretending we’ve got everything figured out.

I think one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is a life that matches our words as often as possible.

Are we going to get it right every single time? Of course not… But every day gives us another opportunity to model the kind of adults we hope they’ll become.

Because whether we notice it or not… They’re watching.

Author: Emaistace

wife, mom, sister, daughter, aunty, friend. writing my everyday thoughts as they pop up. View all posts by Emaistace