In the ‘I do’

You see marriage? It’s a beautiful thing.

It is also sometimes very difficult to maneuver.

Just the other day, I was sharing with Terver, my husband, about an Instagram post with a list of things a couple must agree on before saying ‘I do’.

That list was long. Really long.

As I went through the list, I realized Terver and I didn’t actually agree on most of the listed issues.

We have had arguments about a few of them. We have worked around a few, and we have each compromised on some.

From the ones we argued about, they helped us realize each other’s opinions on the matter. Some of the arguments and disagreements were definitely tiring and heartbreaking…for both of us… but I think it kind of brought us on the journey to where we are today.

As a lover of peace to a very bad fault, arguments and confrontations break me… but I realized along the way that it is quite difficult to be with or around anyone at all and agree with them on every matter.

Now, for some of the things on the list that we worked through, intentionally or unintentionally, I realized they were the blocks building and forming our story.

Now, for compromise, that’s where the sacrifice in love shows itself… but this can only be appreciated when it’s mutual. Compromise from one person alone doesn’t do it. It becomes a burden and ends up making the giver tired, angry, and resentful.

Marriage is beautiful,  but we have to do it. Intentionally.

Are you doing it? Or do you expect it to happen automatically?

To quote comments that came from my discussion on that one Instagram post

There is no one formula for marriage – Terver Bossua

Comment on post by my sister Angela

There’s no hard and fast rule for Marriage – Mimi Stacey Terver-Bossua

Link to the list:

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Author: Emaistace

wife, mom, sister, daughter, aunty, friend. writing my everyday thoughts as they pop up.

13 thoughts on “In the ‘I do’”

  1. Fascinating thoughts, Mimi. I’ve been married for 54 years. My wife is a blessing for me. Our thoughts are not the same on everything, but I keep my mouth shut about it because I don’t want to be a bad influence on her.

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    1. That’s quite thoughtful Tim.
      I’m happy to hear encouraging words from a man.
      54 years is a life time for me. I’m 43 years old, married for 14.
      You are amazing

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  3. I think it takes a lot of patience and give and take on both sides. No one is perfect worst luck. We all make mistakes yes I admit that. But we just have to hang in there and enjoy life good and both days. But the most important part of marriage I think is listening to one another. Even though most times I find men say yes and have not a clue what we were telling them haha

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  5. This was an interesting post – and that list was long – and I am sharing it with a couple who just got engaged – but I moreso liked what you shared about discovering things with your spouse – and compromising – 🙂

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